My Journey with Breast Cancer ~ PART 2
13th March 2014, operation day.
I subsequently underwent surgery to remove the seemingly benign lump. It was a simple non-invasive procedure and I was able to go home after a couple of hours. The surgeon informed me that he had sent the lump to the laboratory for routine testing. Once the lump was removed, the pain vanished and I immediately felt relieved, thinking that the surgery had been successful. A week later, when I went for a follow-up appointment with the specialist, he broke the news to me. I clearly remember his words, "The results are back. I am afraid it's not good news, the lump was cancer."
The lump that was removed was cancerous.
I was diagnosed as having third stage cancer. I was confused and in an utter state of shock. The "C word" terrified the hell out of me. I broke down and there was nothing I could do to stop the tears from flowing. The specialist told me that I had a rare type of fast growing breast cancer. The lump had grown into the size of a table tennis ball in just 6 weeks and it was sitting 2 millimetres away from a bone.
Making that call to my family
I remember my sister-in law, Kanchan, calling me on my mobile as a follow up, asking how my appointment with the specialist had gone. By then I was sobbing and told her the news I had just been given. She was there at the clinic in no time to be with me and took charge. Soon after, I called my other sister-in-law, Maninder (in Malaysia) to tell her about my diagnosis.
One of the most difficult moments of my life was telling my mum and brothers the shocking news. I did not have the courage to tell them myself as I knew they were going to find it very difficult to deal with. Instead, I got my sister-in-laws to do that. In the next few weeks, my family and I felt like our lives had broken apart with 'that' fateful news. In the next few days a seemingly endless stream of tests followed (MRI, Pet Scan etc.), to see if the cancer had spread to the other parts of my body. It was nerve wrecking waiting anxiously for the test results. Fortunately it hadn't spread… and Thank God for that!
Another surgery
On 2nd April, I had to go for another surgery - lumpectomy. This time, I stayed overnight at the hospital. Maninder had flown down from Malaysia to be with me while I recovered from the operation. A panel of specialists decided that I needed to go through the full cancer treatment - chemotherapy and radiotherapy.
The thought of undergoing chemotherapy sounded frightening. I felt that I was going to be sent to an eerie gas chamber and banished to a dark room. Of course it was not as I had expected, silly me!
Diet and the Gerson Theory
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About the Gerson therapy: The Gerson therapy, developed by the German doctor Dr Max Gerson, is the longest existing and most widely recognized treatment appealing to our body’s ability to heal itself. |
I asked the surgeon and the oncologist if there were any dietary restrictions and they said 'none" and to eat what I normally ate. A very close friend has done a lot of self-study on cancer and its relationship with our diet. She encouraged me to follow 'the Gerson' diet. I wanted to do what was best for my body and followed her recommendation. That meant drinking one litter of green juice daily, eliminating sugar and yeast, going gluten free and organic. Me, the café queen, having to give up cakes and everything nice?
The first few weeks I managed to follow the dietary pathway religiously. I think my 'survival mechanism' kicked in and I was able to commit to the strict regime.
Chemotherapy
I am glad to report that I have just completed six months of chemotherapy. What a journey it has been! Nothing can prepare one for the sessions, even though the oncologist had explained what the side effects were going to be and what to expect.
Nausea
I felt nauseated after my chemo session for days. My taste buds had all gone. All I felt was a horrible metallic taste in my mouth - it was like some bomb had exploded in my body and the metallic taste was the ashes that had been strewn about. I could no longer bring myself to drink any more green juice and gave up on the Gerson Diet. I decided to start eating normally.
I couldn't taste any flavour in my food apart from sugar, chilli and tamarind. My niece, Asees, had come from Malaysia to be with me. I cooked us some fried rice one day. As we began eating, Asees exclaimed that she could not eat the rice because I had added triple the amount of salt! Oh dear!
Losing my beautiful hair
I am of the Sikh faith and have never cut my hair as this is an essential component of our belief system. When the succession of treatments started, I noticed that I was slowly starting to lose my hair - strand by strand. I was too scared to brush my hair in the fear of accelerating the hair loss but I knew that there was nothing that I could do and it was inevitable that I would soon lose all of it. I reached the point where I needed to buy a wig.
Later, I found out that most female cancer patients are confronted with fear, and normally cry (which I did too) when they are told that they will be losing all of their hair. Most of us women associate our beauty and femininity with our hair. I don't know which is more terrifying for us - finding out that we have cancer or losing our hair! Well! My silky long hair has now been replaced by a silky bald head!
The truth sinks in - I have Cancer.
There, I said it and saying it aloud made it real. I was alone when I got this realization (three months after I was diagnosed). I cried, I felt sorry for myself, I asked, 'why me?" There were no answers, just an endless stream of questions. Cancer does not discriminate - it doesn't care how old you are, how healthy you are or how rich you are. Anyone can succumb to it at any point in their life.
People asked me, "How did it happen?" How would I know? I decided against seeking an answer because deep down I knew there wasn't one. It is what it is.
Capturing the new me.
Before and after
My lovely, talented and creative nephew - Jiwan Singh, volunteered to take some pictures of me. A special thank you to him and also to Christina Croucher (Christina's Makeup Services) for doing such a wonderful job with my makeup, maintaining natural look and introducing me to fake eyelashes!
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