Edited by Tinderjit Lalli: It’s amazing how sometimes Sikhs surprise everyone! Recently I came across this article written by Suringer Singh from Springfield VA, that was posted on the Sikh news website. I applaud the writer for his ability and vision to address such a sensitive topic.
Anand Kaaraj, as it literally means, is an event of bliss. What a beautiful name Guru Ramdas chose for the Sikh wedding ceremony.
The stage of Anand is defined by Guru Amar Das in the Baani of Anand Sahib. Almost all the shabads documented in Sri Guru Granth Sahib refer to this stage of Anand, which explain how to achieve and retain bliss.
As far as marriage is concerned, Guru Amar Das also defined the concept in the following Shabad:
Third Mehla:
They are not said to be husband and wife, who merely sit together.
They alone are called husband and wife, who have one Light in two bodies. ||3||
Marriage in Sikhism is not merely a social contract, it is the foundation of a Sikh’s spiritual life. Laavaan, the four verses read at the time of marriage are not just metaphors or some mantras to chant. These verses are four stages of life. To understand it further we need to understand the basic behavior, the basic instincts of men and women.
A man, as nature intended it to be, was the hunter, a provider for others following his shadow, and thus responsible for providing a means of living for his family. A woman, as nature intended it to be, offers him love, support and care in return. This is where life started.
A Lion may spend all his life in the cage with goats and sheep next to him, but will never eat grass. That’s his basic instinct, his natural behavior. An elephant may spend years with lions and tigers, but will never eat flesh.
Men left hunting and became farmers, became businessmen or became kings, but the role didn’t change. They were to provide, and to do so they were to work in some form to earn living. Another basic behavior a man has is his pride in his work, his position in society and his assets. A woman has her pride in her home, in her children and in her husband’s pride.
By nature a man is physically stronger, more practical, less emotional, more focused and a big dreamer. By nature, a woman is delicate (not so much physically, but generally compared to a flower), more emotional, less practical, a big dreamer but not focused. These are general assumptions which might not apply to all, but majority of the time they do.
Let’s join these two pieces together. Sri Guru Granth Sahib’s teachings indicate that in order to attain the stage of bliss a Sikh needs to complete and tune his mind with the source, Waheguru. And the way is to merge the soul into the source, the husband Lord, the way a man and woman blend with each other after taking the vow in front of Sri Guru Granth Sahib in the ceremony of Anand Kaaraj.
This is the purest form of a relationship where the woman says: “I found all other relationships to be false and temporary so now I am going to hold your palla (metaphor used for commitment).” She sings, “I shall not leave your side, you are my true support.”
The Anand Kaaraj is the ultimate example of merger of two bodies, two minds and two souls. It is an ultimate example of giving. It is a stage where two sides meet and become one. And yet this is just the beginning of a new journey where he is to learn from her how she loves, how she cares, how she keeps the home, how she looks after children, and to once in a while play those roles.
It will be safe to say that 60-65% of shabads in Sri Guru Granth Sahib refer to this relationship, where Guru Sahib referred to Waheguru as Husband Lord and the Sikh as the soul bride.
When a Sikh man or woman dies the Sohila Sahib baanee is recited. The first few lines of this baanee is actually like a wedding song where a soul bride is telling everyone to bless her and greet her because finally the day had come when she is going to meet her Husband Lord. We recite that baanee every night before sleeping as a reminder that one day we will be meeting our Husband Lord and we shall prepare ourselves for the same.
Oh yes, I know the time has changed. But I haven’t seen a lion eating grass yet. I haven’t seen a goat eating flesh yet.
I am failing to understand that where the same sex union culture fits into this concept.
We are not to judge people born with incapacities, without privilege or suffering due to a natural cause. I will be happy to accept homosexuals in the gurdwara trying to uplift themselves, but I will certainly have issues with a gay Sikh sitting there. Why? It is a behavior someone has “chosen” to live with just like someone chose to cut his or her hair, drink limitlessly or become involved in some other deeds not accepted in our society.
In the end we can all request Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji to bless us with Gurmat, HIS Wisdom and Light our way to stand up and say no to this culture so tomorrow our children and generations to come don’t wander in this darkness.
NOTE: Commentaries are the opinions of the authors, and not necessarily that of The Sikh Times and/or SikhNet.com. Our thoughts in posting this article (which is clearly labeled OP-ED)
was simply to show how prejudiced some people still are regarding this
topic. SikhNet has posted numerous articles and a video on this topic as
well. It's good to promote discussion, but SikhNet IN NO WAY endorses
anything this author says. In fact, it was posted as an example of how
far we still need to go. It seems though that people feel that SikhNet
supports such an old-fashioned position. In that case, I'm happy to pull
the article, since a lot of people seem to have misunderstood. If the
majority want it pulled, We'll consider it a failed attempt and pull
it. Let us know.