My name is Gurchit Singh, and i am an aspiring activist within, and outside of, the Sikh community. On the day of RakshaBandan, a few points came to mind of why i felt it was not a holiday that should be celebrated as a Sikh, so i decided to take action and write an article based off my thoughts. I would really appreciate it if this article could be published, for it is an issue i feel very few writers question. Here it is:
The Sacred Thread: It's All In the Head
Oh the joys of RakshaBandhan! The air is filled with love, family members are conversing and munching on a plethora of sweets, hugs and kisses are being ecstatically extended to any and all family members the over-emotional mother can seem to get her loving arms around, and the overall mood in the home is one which many families can only dream of experiencing on a daily basis.
Unfortunately, these loving moments only further promote a holiday which demotes women and opposes aspects of Sikhism itself.
While occupying myself with Facebook and sipping warm milk on the morning of RakshaBandhan, I was going through my daily routine of checking any notifications I may have received from the prior night. After reading many generic RakshaBandan-related salutations, I finally came across one that actually defined what it was actually aimed at achieving: "RakshaBandhan is a festival which celebrates the relationship between brothers and sisters.
The ceremony involves the tying of a rakhi (sacred thread) by a sister on her brother's wrist. This symbolizes the sister's love and prayers for her brother's well-being, and the brother's lifelong vow to protect her." While reading this definition, the two phrases that IMMEDIATELY jumped out at me were "sacred thread", which conjured an instant connection to one of Guru Nanak Dev Ji's earliest forms of rebellion against what he believed aimless and biased: the Janeu ( the full Sakhi can be referenced here,) and "brother's lifelong vow to protect her", which called forth an image of a frail young woman constantly relying on her brother for protection from external occurrences.
So the question pending is: Why does a man need a cheaply crafted bracelet around his wrist to remind him that as a Sikh, he has the responsibility to assist an individual in need? He does NOT. Becoming a genuinely brave and helpful individual must come from within, and the only way to achieve this is to prioritize what is most important in life: yourself or others.
If one does wish to obtain a sacred thread, one need not go far, for the only true sacred thread is one that is metaphorical, and what is truly special about this thread, is that it is available to individuals of both sexes. Step back, think, and separate right from wrong, for self-contemplation is the only way one can truly improve and move on.
mÚ 1 ]
ma 1 ||
First Mehla:
nwie mMinAY piq aUpjY swlwhI scu sUqu ]
naae ma(n)niai path oopajai saalaahee sach sooth ||
Believing in the Name, honor is obtained. The Lord's Praise is the true sacred thread.
drgh AMdir pweIAY qgu n qUtis pUq ]3]
dharageh a(n)dhar paaeeai thag n thoottas pooth ||3||
Such a sacred thread is worn in the Court of the Lord; it shall never break. ||3||
This Shabad is by Guru Nanak Dev Ji in Raag Aasaa on Pannaa 471
Now onto the meat of the matter: sexism. In my eyes, RakshaBandhan is just another ritual that made its way out of a predominantly sexist country, and now threatens to pollute the open-mindedness of others.
After condemning Rakhi on Facebook, a close friend commented the following:
"…face it, [it's] more likely the brother is often put through the test of protecting [their] sisters." Aside from grammatical flaws, this statement remains VERY incorrect. Yes, to many people the woman is feeble and weak, always looking for support, but to those that are capable of looking at things in a less provincial manner, it is clear that where the woman lacks physically, the man lacks mentally.
The idea of protection should be treated as a double-sided concept because any individual is capable of helping another. Men are more prone to giving into societal pressures, for our sex has been infested with the idea that drugs and alcohol make us cool and help us fit in. We need the help and protection of women most when we go through the phase where we wonder if drugs and alcohol can benefit us, and in all honestly, I find it more likely that any woman can talk me out of committing these deeds than any man ever could. "Men are made to be physically stronger, BUT that does not mean women [can't] be just as strong if not stronger. Women can do MANY other things that men in fact cannot" ~ Anjali Lobana.
For the first time in my mere 16 years of life I have finally spoken aloud and opposed the family tradition of RakshaBandhan. I have taken a stand and have corrected my wrongs. I have stopped a tradition in my family which I feel undermines everything I have ever been taught and everything I have ever learned on my own. After 16 years of living my life, I have finally realized that the Revolution Starts With Me.
After years of abstaining from rakhris (and hurting many feelings), I decided to participate this year, but with a twist. Instead of getting a rakhri tied, I asked my sister and female cousins to tell me one thing they appreciated about me as their brother.
It did away with ceremonial threads. While it was a lot harder for my sister/cousins to do, their words meant much more to me than a piece of string. It allowed for a heartfelt moment between me and my sisters. Finally and hopefully, I didn't further perpetuate gender inequalities.
~ Gurchit Singh