SikhNet recently conducted an interview with Daljit Sanders
Can you tell us about yourself?
I am
one of four children. My mother raised us to believe that we could do
anything we wanted and I still believe that to this very day. My
ambitions have changed over the years, but my goal has always
remained the same: I want to help people. I always hoped to work for
a nonprofit, the National Multiple Sclerosis Society or the Canadian
Cancer Society, because I have MS and because I grew up volunteering
for the CCS. Never did I think that I would want to work for the CCS
because I had cancer. It never even occurred to me that it was
possible for me to have to deal with both Multiple Sclerosis and the
big “C.” But I do, so I am. I haven’t given up on my
aspirations of helping people and raising awareness for the need of
more support for each other as human beings, I’ve just taken a
different approach. The need for more minorities in the registry has
become what I’ve come to advocate, it’s become a full time job
between doctors appointments and school. I am so very fortunate to
understand what my purpose in life is, to help others, and I’m even
more blessed to be able to do it and live it every day. I am
currently attending Penn. State online because it is no longer
possible for me to seek an education through the traditional way. I
have so much more flexibility now that I am an online student; I did
one of my exams from my hospital room. The nurses were so kind and
put a sign on my door that said “do not disturb, she’s taking an
exam.”
Can you tell us more about yourself? What are your hobbies?
My
hobbies include knitting for my nieces, reading anything written by a
South Asian author, and cooking. My mother taught me how to knit when
I was in the third grade, I don’t know when I became an avid
knitter, but it was sometime between then and university. I’m
unsure of when I developed my obsession with South Asian authors, but
the bookshelves in my home are a definite testament to my
fascination. If I don’t have a book in my hand, that’s when
there’s something wrong. I’m also a frantic cook. I love creating
dishes that are healthy (vegan, grainless, soy-free, and
peanut-free), but taste like they’re sinful. Right now I seem to
have developed a fascination for black beans; I have to find a way to
include them in everything – especially deserts.
Are there any other notable events in your life you'd like to share?
The
most notable life events that have helped make me who I am today have
been the day my husband asked me to marry him, Nov. 5, 2006. The day
my first niece was born, May 11, 2007. The day I was diagnosed with
Multiple Sclerosis, Jan. 6, 2008. The day I became bionic woman Sept.
20, 2009 and Oct. 30 2009. The day my husband and I got married, May
26, 2011. The day that I was diagnosed with Leukemia, Jan. 6, 2014.
All of these things have made me a patient, a masi, a wife, and a
survivor. These are the things that define who I am. I am an
MS/cancer patient who refuses to give up, I am the masi who spoils my
nieces with affection and plays silly games with them, but most
importantly, I am a wife. I am my husband’s partner in everything
that we do together.
My life philosophy is simple, but enacting it is rather difficult. Life isn’t about what happens, it’s about what you do when it happens.
It must have been devastating to be diagnosed with Leukemia. How did that happen?
My husband and I were trying to have a child. I had
two miscarriages since we got married and we were starting to worry.
I started seeing my OB/GYN in order to figure out why it was taking
us so long to get pregnant. As it turns out, my hemoglobin was
extremely low during routine bloodwork to make sure everything was
okay. He phoned me on my cellphone and told me I needed to go to the
ER right away, I needed blood transfusions ASAP. I remember looking
at my husband and telling him what the doctor said and then telling
him that I’d rather go “tomorrow” because it was so cold
outside and I had laundry in the machine. My husband didn’t agree,
but he supported my decision until the doctor called again and asked
why I hadn’t gone to the ER yet. He reminded me that this couldn’t
wait. I didn’t understand the urgency, but I got dressed and we
drove to the ER. I didn’t have to wait long to be seen. My doctor
had called in instructions and as I waited for my bloodwork to be
done again to confirm the results that my doctor had, I reminisced
with my husband about how the last time I’d been in the ER was when
I was diagnosed with MS. We waited for hours for my blood work to
come back, but when it did, I saw my first bag of blood. I received
four bags in the ER and two more when I was admitted later that day.
My family physician, who I always think runs more tests than
necessary saw something alarming in my bloodwork, my white count was
abnormally low. He asked a hematologist/oncologist to look at my
bloodwork and over the next three days the hematologist/oncologist
would spend most of his time convincing me that I needed a bone
marrow biopsy to confirm what he suspected: leukemia.
I finally agreed to the bone marrow biopsy and my husband and I decided we would be okay, regardless of the results. I think it was more for my benefit because I know he’d be fine regardless of the results. What leukemia meant didn’t quite set in until my husband went home to shower and the doctor came into my hospital room with my nurse to tell me I had acute myeloid leukemia. He asked if I wanted him to stay with me until my husband came back or if there was anyone else he could call. I was completely numb. I remember telling him that I would be fine; all he had to do was leave. We could figure out the rest in the morning. The numbness that had set in as soon as he finished telling me that I had leukemia, disappeared quickly as I began to cry. I couldn’t stop the tears from steaming down my face, just as I can’t stop them each time I think about the fact that I may never have a child with my husband because there was no time to freeze my eggs before we began intensive chemotherapy treatment. It is my second time going through chemotherapy, so the chances of me becoming pregnant are now almost non-existent, although I do pray every night for a miracle before I have my transplant because once I have my transplant; there is no chance of it happening. Bone marrow transplants cause infertility.
I had
my first experience with chemotherapy when I was diagnosed with MS as
it can help stop the disease’s progression. I am fortunate that MS
has not been too much of a problem for me. I was able to recover
completely from absolute blindness, deafness, the loss of all my find
motor functions (the ability to talk, hold a pen, write, swallow
food) and the loss of ability to walk through the loss of
coordination. I had my hips operated on, and one was replaced, also
because of treatment I received for my MS. I reacted poorly to the
drugs given to me in the hospital, but we wouldn’t have known how I
was going to react until we tried. If we didn’t try, I wouldn’t
be able to climb a flight of stairs, I would be trapped in a
wheelchair, possibly still suffering from Optic Neuritis, and
deafness. But now I also know that an associated risk to the
chemotherapy I received the first time, was leukemia later in life. I
don’t know if I would have chosen to do anything differently
because I would not be who I am right now if I did things
differently. I honestly believe that Guru ji guides us towards the
lessons we’re meant to learn in life. Towards doing the work that
we’re destined to do.
The irony of how I was diagnosed is not lost on me. While my husband and I were trying to bring life into this world, mine was being taken.
What is life like for you now?
Life
for me now consists mostly of trying to focus on school, organize
drives, recruit volunteers to help during drives, and focus on my
long distance marriage. I returned home to be around my family and
where there is a larger South Asian population, once I was medically
stable. My husband and I will continue work together to strengthen
our marriage as he continues to look for work in Canada so we can
live as husband and wife again (my husband is American). He truly is
the only reason I haven’t given up hope because there have been so
many times that I’ve wondered how easy it would be… and then he
reminds me that we’re here on this earth to do Guru ji’s work.
When it’s my time, I’ll know, but it’s not that time yet.
The thought of dying doesn’t scare me anymore. The thought of leaving my loved ones does. I don’t cry about the fact that it is a possibility anymore because I’ve realized that if it is going to happen, I won’t be able to do anything about it, but right now I can do something about it. I can look for a donor. I can contact every single person I know and ask them if there is any way that they can help, if there is anything that I haven’t considered that I should think about. I spend most of my day on my computer, reaching out to people globally because my donor can come from anywhere.
Right now, we are trying to contact different Gurdwaras throughout Canada to organize a largescale drive and tie it into Lohri in January. My prayer is that we find a match for me, and that we’re also able to help raise awareness for this very serious problem. We need more visible minorities in the Bone Marrow Registry but our biggest obstacle continues to be a lack of education in the community.
What role has Sikhi played for you in all of this?
Sikhi has kept me alive. The ability to recite Jaapji in the mornings, and listen to Sukhmani Sahib whenever I feel weak is a constant reminder of what my husband tells me. My work isn’t done yet. I need to continue fighting and Sikhi gives me the strength to do so. Sikhi gives me hope that more people will act rather than think about how they might get involved.
Do you have anything you would like to say to the sangat and to the youth?
I would like to ask the sangat and the youth between the ages of 17-35 to please consider becoming a registered bone marrow donor. Thousands of individuals die every year because they are unable to find their donors in the registry. A donor can come from anywhere in the world. Saving a life is the ultimate form of seva. Getting involved andencouraging your friends and family to get involved is an incredible way to save someone’s life.
More information can be found at www.willyoumarrowme.com
