Lately, my 8 year old daughter, Mehar has deeply inspired me. She is the
only Sikh child at the school she attends. This lesson she taught me is
not about fighting for our rights but rather about her showing, in her own
humble way, how our beliefs our equally important as those of others.
Girls at school are all about inclusion and exclusion. Last week Mehar was playing with her friends during recess when they all got an idea to play a game called "summer camp." These four girls became super excited by the idea of play-acting as if they were at camp together. Three out of the four girls decided that it should be a Christian camp. Mehar objected and said, "I'm not a Christian. Why does the camp have to be Christian camp?" One of her friends surprisingly asked, "You're not a Christian? You are saying you don't believe in Christ?" Mehar said, "I am not sure what believing in Christ means. I am a Sikh and my religion believes in one God." Her friend quickly responded, "Well, if you don't believe in Christ then you can't play camp with us." Mehar's best friend said, "We can change the game to include Mehar," but the other two girls left saying "no, she can't play with us."
Mehar was very upset when she came home that Friday. She always shares what goes on in school and whatever is bothering her. When she told us, we asked if she had spoken to her teacher. She said she wasn't sure if that would be considered tattle tale. We explained she should speak to her 2nd grade teacher or that we would if she wanted us to. She said she would speak to her teacher on Monday.
During the weekend we were at the Gurudwara in remembrance of Guru Arjan Dev Ji's Shahidi Purab. Mehar sang a beautiful shabad and wore a black dastar (turban.) She sometimes wears a turban at the Gurudwara. On Sunday she asked me if she could wear her turban to school when she discussed last week's incident with her teacher. I said "sure" and she wore her turban on Monday.
I picked her up from school and asked how her day was. She explained her
teacher had a day off that day but she had shared what happened with the
assistant teacher and the assistant teacher had a talk with her friends.
She said that all day long kids were asking her what is that she was
wearing and why? She said she became tired of explaining. I assured her
that those questions were good and taking the time to answer was going to
help.
Mehar wore her turban to school the entire day and that evening she showed
off her turban while selling lemonade and cookies with her friends doing
fundraising for juvenile diabetes.
The next day I sent some general material about Sikhism with her to school
and I emailed her teacher so he knew some background on what had been
going on. I got a call from Mehar's school principal that afternoon. He
apologized for what had happened and also expressed his appreciation for
how we were handling this situation. He particularly said, "I like that
you didn't come in here to create an issue about this, but rather that
Mehar decided to wear her turban and share her beliefs with the teacher
and the kids. She sent a humble message to all. I like the information
you have sent on Sikhism it is very interesting. Please let us know what
else you want us to do. We have shared this with the kids and also
explained that it is not right to exclude anyone for any such reasons." I
almost cried, I was so proud. I don't wear a turban, neither do any women
in my family. I don't know if I have it in me to wear a turban to work,
but my daughter had the courage and pride to wear her turban to school. I
teach Gurmat and Punjabi language at a Punjabi school at Niskayuna
Gurudwara here in Albany, NY on weekends. Mehar always came with me to
class. I'm amazed that she absorbed so much at her young age that she is
inspiring me now. Someone told me few months back that our kids can handle
themselves in school and that they will be strong if we give them a solid
foundation. I think that is true and I believe our kids can bring change
in their own humble way.
Before I go, I'll share one more little story about another impactful
moment when Mehar inspired me.
Last winter we were in Brampton, Canada visiting my parents. We always
start our New Year at Gurudwara Sahib there. We were listening to
beautiful katha by Bhaiji and he was saying, "It hurts my heart to see so
many mothers walking into the gurudwara with their kids' hair cut. I am
thinking how ungrateful we are to Guru Gobind Singh Ji who sacrificed his
entire family for our way of life." I was explaining this to Mehar and she
said, "Mumma, Sikhi isn't limited to Kesh (hair), it is much more than
that. If we want to be grateful to our Guru or even listen to the Guru, we
shouldn't do any of the four kurahits (four forbidden things). We
shouldn't cut our hair, we shouldn't eat halal (sacrificed meat), we
shouldn't indulge in adultery and we shouldn't do any drugs at the least,
but Sikhi is much more than just kesh." I was amazed that she remembered
this from our Punjabi School class such a long time ago. Listening to her
remember this, simply and calmly, inspired me and her Nani (grandmother)
sitting next to her. Our kids are truly Guru Ji's children, while Guru
Ji is showing them the way they are showing us the way.
Fateh!
Baani Singh