In 2015, I felt that I was doomed to darkness and was unable to come to terms with myself. I used to feel a deep pit in my stomach and my inside feelings were too queer to be communicated to someone. I had started liking darkness around and didn't want any human interaction. I didn't know what that feeling was called until I had to see a doctor. But the thought of seeing a doctor for something nobody could understand was petrifying. That year was the one I was supposed to graduate from high school, and nothing was going the way I had planned.
At that time, I didn't even know whether I would go for the pilgrimage to Sachkhand Shri Hemkunt Sahib or not. Sachkhand Shri Hemkunt Sahib is the place to which I owe everything that I have in life. I am because that place is.
Since my condition was getting worse, on 11th August my doctor told my father to take me wherever I wished as a change of surrounding might help me but our Jatha (clan) had already left for the Yatra. On the morning of the 12th I woke up in fever, absolutely terrified of light which I felt would blind me, my father somehow managed to get my tickets booked for me to join the clan for the Yatra on 13th.
On 16th August when I finally reached Sachkhand, I broke down near the Nishan Sahib, ignorant of the surroundings, I cried my heart out, but that was not it. I could hear a voice that told me that all this was necessary and I should accept His will for He has me sorted. He has got my back. That message was from the Akal Purakh itself.
The high school results that were to come on 6th May 2016, I had come to know them on 16th August, 2015. Although 16th August was not the day my distress came to an end. I had to suffer through this till January, the fact that He was there with me at my every step kept me going.
Now, what I am trying to establish here is that whatever happens is in accordance with His will. It's His "Hukam" or "Raza" as you call it. In Japji Sahib comes a line, which means that one has to obey him and it's written.
The universe is manifested in the divine law and everything in the universe happens according to the will of that almighty. From the shrill cry of a baby, i.e. birth, to the sudden death of a person, everything is predestined. It is believed that a leaf also cannot fall without the will of God.
Although distressing over His actions is natural, living in harmony with the "divine will" is like walking on the path towards wellness.
We humans have a lot to face in our lives, from mundane routines to problems in our personal lives but whatever happens is foreordained. I know how it feels when things don't go the way we have planned but someone phrased it aptly, "God's plans will always be greater and more beautiful than all your disappointments."
Moreover, when we don't accept the failures, disappointments or the negativities of our lives, devils like anxiety and depression hover above us and cloud our mind. It is easy to let negative thoughts take your mind, feel low and lose interest in everything and curse our fortune, but if we don't accept things as they are understanding that it's God's will then the above mentioned devils would be in peace instead of us.
"Coming and going is by the Hukam of His Command; realizing His Hukam, I shall merge in Him. ||1|| "
Living in harmony with his "Hukam" or "Raza" shall bring us peace and happiness. All kinds of fear and doubts will perish if you have faith in His doings. You won't be disheartened over petty things, and this will give you peace - of mind, body and soul. And that's exactly what we are striving for. To win this strife called life, one has to be of a fighter spirit and have faith. For, the eternal truth and divine power within and outside can only realised when one gets tuned in with the divine universal law. Enclosing I would like to quote Guru Arjan Dev Ji,
