National Health Service (NHS), North East Regional Faith Network and The Churches' Commission, organised a Seminar on a 'Good Death' at Durham. About 15 speakers from different faiths and belief systems gave their presentations at the Seminar. Below please find the contribution made by yours truly. NHS is looking for funds to publish a glossy booklet.
A GOOD DEATH
First of all let me say a few word about Sikhism so that you all understand the context in which death or 'Good Death' is viewed.
Sikhs believe in One Supreme God. He is Eternal. He pervades every where. He existed before time was started He exists now and He will exist forever.
GURU (The Divine Preceptor)
Within Sikhism primary significance is accorded to the doctrine of the Guru and their role as the communicators of the Divine truth. For Sikhs a Guru is a spiritual guide and an inspiring exemplar or role model. The term Guru primarily refers to Guru Nanak (the founder of Sikhism) and his nine successors. All manifested One Light, just as one lamp is lit from another. After the passing away of Guru Gobind Singh, the Guru-ship was vested in Sri Guru Granth Sahib, the holy scripture of the Sikhs.
A word which you need to remember: Bani: (speech) Common abbreviation for 'Gurbani,' the writings contained in Sri Guru Granth Sahib,(SGSS).
First of all, let us see what Bani has to say about the purpose of life on this earth:
Bhaee prapat manukh dehurieeaa, Gobind milan kee eh taeeree bareeaa.
You have been blessed with this beautiful body. This is your chance to meet the Lord of the Universe. (SGGS p. 378) .
Our main purpose in life is to be nearer to God or to merge in the Supreme Soul.
Parmaatam haaen sarab atam haaen...... (Jap (u) Sahib)
God is the Primal Soul. All souls originate from that Supreme Soul.
We have always placed Life and Death at two ends of the spectrum, favouring one, and dreading the other, and continually floundering between the two. We also assume that when a baby is born it will flower into a young person, grow old and then die. It doesn't happen like that always. The reality is that only a breath separates life and death
Bani says:
Ham aadmee haan ek damee, muhalit muhat na jaanaa.
We are people of one breath only. We do not know the appointed time of our departure (SGGS p. 660).
It is an illusion that we are going to be here on this earth for a long time. Again Bani says:
Jo chhadanaa su asthir kar maanaae, jo hovan so duur paraanaae
What one has to leave here he takes to be everlasting. The death, which will come he considers to be far away. (GGS.p 267)
Quite often we say, 'Why is it happening to me, or someone close to me? There are millions of others.'
Again the Bani provides the answer:
Ghar ghar aeho paahuchaa sadharrae nit pavann
Sadanaharaa simareeeaae, naanak sae dih aavann.
This summons is served on every house, the Messenger calls everyday.
Meditate, therefore on the One who summons, for the day so arranged for you approaches ever nearer. (GGS.p.157).
We must not forget that we come to this world when God pleases, and not when we wish.
Again Bani elucidates it thus:
Ghalae aavahi naanakaa, sadae outhee jaahi
O Nanak, we come to this world when God pleases, and depart when He so commands. (SGGS.p.1239)
In life, what do we do? We work very hard for wealth, power, and status. We get attached to the wealth we have created and other worldly attractions.
Again Bani says:
Chhod jaae tis ka saram karaae,
Sang sahae tis parharaae
They work very hard for what we have to leave behind us;
But turn away from the Lord, their help and Support who is always with them. (SGGS. P.267)
Guru Nanak on one of his travels went to the house of a very rich man called Duni Chand. There were several flags outside the door, so Guru ji asked what they were for. It was explained that each flag denoted a lakh (One hundred thousand rupees), which Duni Chand had accumulated. On this Guru ji gave him a needle and told him to keep it until he asked for it in the next world. Duni Chand took the needle to his wife, and told her to put it in a safe place for the purpose indicated by Guru Nanak. She asked him as to how a needle could go to the next world and advised him to think about the message Guru Nanak was conveying to him.
And again:
Birakh kee chhaaiaa sio rang laave. Uh binsaae uh man pachhtavaae.
Who ever attaches himself to the shade of a tree. Feels regret when the shade (which is temporary) passes. (SGGS. P. 268)
Kabir, a devotee of God in Guru Granth Sahib asks: How should one die?
Kabeera martaa martaa jag muua, mar bhee na jaaniaa koe,
Aaesee marnee jo marae bahur na marnaa hoe.
Kabir the world is dying, every one dies in turn but no one knows how to die.
Whoever dies, let him die such a death that he does not have to die again.
(That you will not have to be born again and again, you will be liberated from the cycle of coming and going). (SGGS. P.555)
Bani also says:
Maran na mandaa lokaa aakheeae jae koee mar jaanaae aaesaa koe.
Death would not be called bad, O people, if one knew how to truly die. (SGGS. p. 579)
And Kabir for a change welcomes death:
Kabeer jis marnae tae jag daraae maerae man anand,
Marnae hee tae paeeaae pooran parmaanand.
Kabir, death of which the whole world is scared is pleasing to me.
It is in death alone that one is blessed with the Supreme Bliss. (SGGS.P.1365)
The above verses from Guru Granth Sahib show the inevitability of death and that we should prepare for it so that it does not scare us. Guru Nanak has emphasised that in life we should follow three principles, and thus prepare for the next world: Naam, Daan and Ishnaan, i.e. recite or meditate on the Name of the Lord, Share your earnings and lead a life of good conduct, cleanse your inner self.
Even if we are not thinking of our own departure from this planet, 'The birth and leaving of close ones sometimes compel us to in some profound way to adjust our compass bearings-which way should we be facing?'
(From-The Secret Power of Light)
The death of a close relative or friend may be the most painful experience of all; but it's important to focus on learning when there is pain. To do this, we need to ask, 'What has the death taught me? How can I change my thinking, my behaviour, and, not be a stick-in the-mud? How can I use this knowledge to improve the quality and purpose of my life and of those around me? Seeing things in this light, it is possible that death can have a positive and life enhancing value. You can derive meanings from death. Thus we can use death which is inevitable to live our lives in a more meaningful way.
Now imagine you are in your final moments, you are tranquil, and your thoughts are clear. Think back about the course of your life. What brought you the greatest satisfaction? What were your biggest disappointments and regrets? What were your strengths? Do you feel you did your best? Were you clear about the purpose and meaning of your life? Did you make a contribution to others? How would you evaluate your life as a whole?
Most likely you can get in touch with a number of regrets, bad decisions, and ways you wasted your precious time. But fortunately it's not the end of your life. You have the time to correct some of the regrets and make changes in your life. It gives you an opportunity to change your life for the better, to make important changes, and put your energy into the things that matter most. After the fear of death is reduced, we can move forward and learn from past experiences. If you have made mistakes, have regrets; make sure that it doesn't happen again. Use the reflection on past experiences positively to try to carry on and live your life as meaningfully as possible.
Some suggestions to make your life more meaningful:
- You are what you think. You can decide what you want to do before your departure from this world.
- How would you like to be remembered? Now think about your eulogy.
Michael Angelo said that inside every block of stone dwells a beautiful statue. We all have a beauty within us, but we ignore it, and concentrate on outer attractions, and our desires. Some of us set out to make sense of the world, but get distracted by external influences and lose sight of the purpose and meaning they were searching. 'Our life is gold, in an untidy bag.' We do no have time to unravel the beauty within, or to tap our inner resources. Our goal normally is external enrichment, and inner happiness tends to elude us. The effort should be to achieve an amalgam of enough money to live, to meet your needs, and spiritual excellence. You are then guided by higher values and beliefs because you know that your life has a purpose and a meaning.
Our willingness to act on our moral values, combined with a deep desire to improve and grow opens us up to our spiritual enhancement if not greatness. There may be sacrifices involved, a major change in life style, but if there is a deep desire to build for ourselves a truly worthwhile life, to live peacefully and develop spiritually, the goal can be achieved. It will be a life in which you have no regrets when the journey of life comes to an end.
When death comes, you accept it, knowing fully that you have left this world a slightly better place. You are ready for the next life, or to meet the Supreme Being. We believe that in the next world, our deeds are scrutinized by the Lord of Dharma. Bani says:
Changiaa-eeaa buriaa-eeaa vachaae dharam hadoor,
Karmee aapo aapnee kae naerraae kae door.
We will be allowed to dwell near Him or far away as a result of our adjudged actions. (SGGS. P.8)
I have dwelt upon personal responsibility above or what religion tells us to do. But we must acknowledge also that not every one can be religious or spiritual, and accept death philosophically. There are people who remain committed to leading a worldly life, and have no deep desire to commit themselves to a spiritual life. They don't have much belief in a religion and hold the view that they are better off as they are. They want to remain in their comfort zones.
Now let us see how we can render help to those in need irrespective of their religion, background, gender, ethnicity, or even whether they have a religion or are secular. We need a caring society. Sikhism says that one should earn his living by honest means and share the earnings with others who are in need.
Ghaal khaae kichh hathahu dae. Nanak rahu pachhhaanehi sae.
He who eats what he earns honestly, and from his earnings shares something (with others);
He alone O, Nanak, knows the True way of life ( SGGS. P. 1245).
The sharing or selfless service we call it Seva should be used to ease the lives of others who are experiencing difficulties. Society has a responsibility to ensure that their last days on this earth are as comfortable as possible, and their dignity is maintained when they are too weak or frail to look after themselves. Such people might have worked very hard in their lives and contributed to the welfare of the society. We can't ignore them when they need our assistance.
Sohan Singh
England