I began with saying Waheguru as a small child. Then Mool Mantar, Japji Sahib, Chopai Sahib and so on, as I grew up. I have been close to Gurbani but yet separated from Amrit for so many years.
Last Saturday, I was reborn. Because that day Waheguru ji blessed me with Khande Bathe Di Pahol (Amrit di daat). For many people it's very appreciating to take Amrit at the age of 24. Personally, as I look back, I have used a lot of time to take this step. I've been thinking and decided several times, but always held me back at the last moment. This is because I always thought I needed more time to mentally prepare myself.
The reason I have been holding back, was FEAR. Fear of people. Their reaction. Their acceptance. My appearance. How this new appearance will be accepted of the society, my fellow students and my own community.
Finally, what got me to take this step was also FEAR. But a different kind of fear. Fear of death. Here, I wanna share a personal story:From my childhood I have heard the katha - vachaks talk about death. They always say that we all should be afraid of death - that people are afraid of death. Honestly, I never understood why they always talked about "maut da bae". I, personally, have never been afraid of death. Even my friends are often annoyed because I often talk about death and always ready to die anytime.
BUT in past few months I've been very scared. Scared of death. I've been thinking how am I gonna face and answer Guru ji while lying on deathbed? What am I gonna say? Say that I didn't even take admission in Khalsa school? Say that I've been fearing of how people will react? Say that I've been busy impressing others? I've been so afraid that each morning I woke up, I thanked God. Thanked God for blessing me with even one more day. One more chance. Then I started to think what I actually want? Whats more important for me - my love to Guru ji or fear of others? I realized that my relation to Guru ji is much stronger. I realized that I've been separated from Him for so long and now I wanted to dedicate my life to Guru ji. So I accepted myself and followed my inner soul.
ਬਹੁਤ ਜਨਮ ਬਿਛੁਰੇ ਥੇ ਮਾਧਉ ਇਹੁ ਜਨਮੁ ਤੁਮ੍ਾਰੇ ਲੇਖੇ ॥
bahuth janam bishhurae thhae maadhho eihu janam thumhaarae laekhae ||
"For so many incarnations, I have been separated from You, Lord; I dedicate this life to You"
Now I also want to say, be afraid of death. You never know whats gonna happen the next second. Its only between you and God when it comes to death. If you truly love God, accept it. So let's do the deeds we can appreciate when lying on the deathbed. Let's start to impress the True Lord rather than impressing people. Because when He is impressed, the world will automatically be impressed since He resides in everyone.
As an uncleji says, to take Amrit is like opening a bank account. When you first open an account, that's when saving begins. Accounting of our bad and good deeds begins when you first take Amrit. I have dared to open my account and hope you also get the courage to open yours. I don't know if this was the right or wrong thing to do, but what I know is that Waheguru Ji is the judge. At the end it is only you and God. No one else will be there. No other human being.
May Waheguru Ji give you, who also thinking of taking Amrit or do something else in life, the courage to conquer your fears and follow your heart and fulfill your dreams.
ਸਾਚੁ ਕਹੋਂ ਸੁਨ ਲੇਹੁ ਸਭੈ ਜਿਨ ਪ੍ਰੇਮ ਕੀਓ ਤਿਨ ਹੀ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਪਾਇਓ ॥ 9॥29॥
saach keho(n) sun laehu sabhai jin paeram keeou thin hee prabh paaeiou || 9||29||
I (Guru Gobind Singh Jee) pronounces verily and all should hear, "One, who truly loves God, has realized Him".(9)(29)
Manpreet Kaur