Can a divorcee look for love?

Discussions on various aspects of Sikhi

Can a divorcee look for love?

Postby sunny1567 » Thu Oct 03, 2019 4:25 am

I have been through a journey of ups and downs and discovered a connection with Gurbani about a decade ago.
I used to trim, stopped, did it again and now given up forever, hopefully. Strange as it may sound the events around me appeared to warn me. Like bad things happening when I did what my conscious had reservations about. Been a boozer all this while, still am. Have lot of flaws in me, some I know, some I don't. Though boozing does not create the same kind of guilt.

The issue though is that I get a fair amount of female attention and I am a divorcee. Do not intend to marry again given a bad experience. Most of this attention is from women who don't want commitment either, mostly single. Now, I know the involvement outside of marriage is not in line with Sikhism. But, what if you are not cheating on a partner, are not fooling a girl into it (though she maybe cheating on someone which she would anyways), being honest about your no commitment thing. Would it still be a huge sin? Anyways at 30 plus, I do not hope to meet someone who is immune to dating culture and still ready to be involved with a divorcee. Arranged marriages are the biggest gamble unless you follow rehat and the future partner does too.

I mean premarital sex, extra marital and adultery is not allowed, but unless you are in that kind of atmosphere where maximum people around you are really following the rehat, what are the chances you would end up with a good partner? what are the chances that your partner is immune to this culture? what are the chances that your loyalty will be reciprocated? So would that mean if I am from an atmosphere where rehat is not strictly followed, I should not get inclined to Sikhism at all, because I would never be a proper gursikh. The journey would never be complete.

Problem is that I feel being with someone who wants the same is the most practical thing to do, but somehow I end up with a conflicting mind that Gurbani does not allow this. I feel religion is to add practicality to life and Sikhism is the most practical of all religions. Then, why does it cause such a dilemma for someone who is not really brought up with that company and mindset but is still inclined. To me it feels, being entirely into something matters, you disobey Guru at one thing and you are not a disciple anyways.
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