Problem between guy and his family not liking me?

Family, love, marriage, children and the relationship of ourselves to our own soul and to the Guru
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Problem between guy and his family not liking me?

Post by Guest »

Sat sri akal sareyan nu...
I have a concerning matter and did not know where else to go, it has gotten to the point where I am just so lost I myself alone cannot handle it thus I have decided to ask for your help.
I'll start off by saying that I am a Sikh girl however I have not taken amrit. I have cut my hair over the past and committed many sins and have lost my path. I did date someone for four years however it was not the right kind of crowd that I was in, as i was influenced by them as well. Fast forward, I met an Amritdhari Sardar and we became friends. We talked and the talk made me realize I had lost my path. I was so far off of it it pained me so bad as the realization hit me I could not stop crying. I felt like i had a thousand years of regret on my shoulders and wanted to remove it so bad. Over time we fell in love. As I grew closer to him I grew closer to Sikhi, I could feel myself growing a love for Sikhi day by day. My days consisted of waking up and doing nitnem before college, then during the evening praying more as well as doing Sukhaasan (we have Maharaj ji da saroop at home). However, I became friends with his sister which he had warned me about at the beginning but I did not think much of it before. She revealed to me she was dating someone and I know this would not sit well with her brother and I was at a loss for what to do. Basically he did find out through my phone and I ended up telling him everything, I cried my eyes out that day because I had hurt someone else through my actions which I did not do on purpose and I had caused a problem now. Her brother went and told the whole family and they forced his sister and the guy she liked to split up and never see eachother again. Fast forward a couple months when things are going well his sister defames me in front of their mother. She reveals that I dated a guy for 4 years, that my family is not Sardar(my dads father and his father before that was Sardar, however my Dad cut his hair when he came to the US for reasons: this is something I don't have control over so idk what I'm supposed to do), that I have a tattoo (which I am currently getting treatments for removal), that my hair is cut(Which I am growing out and vowed to never touch again with anything but a comb) and that I am not the right girl for her brother. Her mother said she doesn't want a daughter in law like me and that she doesn't like me (as the guy I like told me straight up). He said he wants a break from me, without me in his life for one or two weeks. I completely understand that I know he is feeling torn on what to do. I am at a loss for what to do. I love him beyond words and do not see my future without him. I am willing to work through this and I have changed my whole life around for myself and for the love of Sikhi and I hope to take Amrit one day when I am worthy of it, and prepared mentally. However, the path of Sikhi is something I would life to share with him and him only, but his mother has been convinced by his sister that I am not the girl for him. I would not be the same person I am today without his help and guidance, I never ever want to lose that. But his sister is trying everything to make sure I don't set foot in that family. Should I talk to her and ask for forgiveness? We did talk when the whole situation happened and I apologized to her saying it all happened at once and I didn't know how to handle the situation. but now I am feeling how she felt and she has done this on purpose. What do I do? I am in so much pain and I don't want to cause others pain, but I love him more than words can explain. It is just hard when his sister goes out of her way to sabotage us...she won't stop. Should I confront her during this break that me and him are having? Or should I wait till he decides he's ready to talk with me?
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Re: Problem between guy and his family not liking me?

Post by 1jyot2moorti »

I understand how you feel within, being in love.
But hear this. Sikhism is not about keeping hair long or short as most people make it out to be. This is enshrined in SGGS ji.
Secondly, those who are love personified are alone true Sikhs. So said, Gobind.
Thirdly, anyone who set you out on the right path would take your guilt away before inculcating Sikh pride.

You have done beautifully in setting out on the virtuous path. Stay Put.
You have done well to seek forgiveness of his sister.
You would do well to quote Gobind to your beloved Sardarji
"Saach kahoon sun lai sabhai, jin prem kiyo tin hi prabh payo"
[Come ye, one and all. Hear the truth. Those who loved, alone attained God]

If it so happens that your Amritdhari Sardarji understands it, he would set both the relationships right.
Like a lion.
Show this to him.

Do not be afraid if he and you don't go far. Cry if you want to. But believe me, the path that you are on, true love shall be yours .... one day!