Why does intercaste marriage halt love from flourishing?

Family, love, marriage, children and the relationship of ourselves to our own soul and to the Guru

Why does intercaste marriage halt love from flourishing?

Postby Dksingh » Fri Nov 02, 2018 10:18 am

I am a Sikh male looking to marry a Sikh female. All my life I was told love is what every human looks for and works hard to achieve. I have found a female that I love and brought up to my parents that I want to marry her. Aside from the complication of me financially stabling my life I explained the love I have for her and how I feel that she has everything that I want in a life partner. At first they agreed but when caste came up it has torn everything apart. I am from a Jatt family while she is from a chamar family. I knew about her caste, I know about her past and we have had a relationship together where we are open with all things to build a good foundation for our futures. But with my parents declining the chance of me marrying her I have been given the ultimatum between family and her. I know my parents love me and have provided a full life for me. But they were the ones who also taught to fight against wrong and be the man who sticks to his word. I have thought it out and following my heart to know that she is the one. We are ready to make comprises for each other and be the ones to better each other’s lives. But my parents are still trying to put into my head about how different the caste is. I do believe every family has their own traditions or culture that they live by. I do believe it also depends on where your family was born and raised but I do not believe that the caste differences, family differences should stop two individuals who want to spend their life’s together from proceeding to do so. I was taught that sikhi doesn’t believe in caste and we believe in all man kind as one. But after talking around and reading some things why does caste stop a marriage and wrongfully hurt individuals that don’t care about each other’s caste?
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Re: Why does intercaste marriage halt love from flourishing?

Postby gurmail » Tue Nov 06, 2018 12:02 pm

Caste or race does not matter in sikhi at all. It must be difficult for your parents to accept. You have two option. There may be others.
1. Marry her anyway.
2. Work on your parents and persuade them

Try second option. Persist. Don't give in. Else you will regret it all your life. Love only happens once, if you let it go then you consign yourself to life of misery. Believe me it will never go away. Also, don't marry someone else to please your parents. You will end up as a living dead. That is if you really love this girl.
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Re: Why does intercaste marriage halt love from flourishing?

Postby 1jyot2moorti » Tue Aug 13, 2019 8:27 am

gurmail wrote:Caste or race does not matter in sikhi at all. It must be difficult for your parents to accept. You have two option. There may be others.
1. Marry her anyway.
2. Work on your parents and persuade them

Try second option. Persist. Don't give in. Else you will regret it all your life. Love only happens once, if you let it go then you consign yourself to life of misery. Believe me it will never go away. Also, don't marry someone else to please your parents. You will end up as a living dead. That is if you really love this girl.


Well-said.
Very well-said.

Doleen Na Bandeya!

Adding:

Firman, Guru Gobind Singh Ji
[i]Saach kahoon sun lai sabhai, jin prem kiyo tin hi prabh paayo[/i]
I speak the truth, ye all listen. Those who love, alone attain God.

Declaration, Kabeer
Pothi pad pad jag mooha, pandit bhaya na koi. Dhai akshar prem ka, padey so pandit hoye
Reading tall and mighty texts does not make one a Pandit (wise person), Reading the word 'LOVE' alone, does

Guidance, Sheikh Fareed
Kar Kirpa Prabh Saadh Sang Maelee
Jaa Fir Dekhaa Taa Meraa Alhoo Baelee

Granted the company of the righteous, thanks to his grace; Wherever I then looked again, I saw God as my abiding friend

[b][i]Affirmation[/i], Bulleh Shah[/b]
Haaji lok makke nu jaande, asaan jaana takht hazare,
Jit val yaar othey val kaaba, bhaaven phol kitaabaan chaare
The pious go to Makkah (holy place); I wish to pay my obeisance at Takht Hazara (Ranjha, the great lover's home)
Next to my beloved lies my Kabbah (holy place); Search any mighty text for anything said otherwise, if you will

REMINDER
Panj Pyare
Bhai Daya Singh, Caste Khatri (Shop-Keeper)
Bhai Dharam Singh, Caste Jatt (Farmer)
Bhai Himmat Singh, Caste Jheeaur (Water-Carrier)
Bhai Muhkam Singh, Caste Chhimba (Washer-Man)
Bhai Sahib Singh, Caste Nai (Barber)

Khalsa Panth is 310 years young. How old are we in our thought?

Bind, Guru Nanak Dev Ji
Aapae saajae aapae rangae aapae nadhar karae
Nanak kaaman kanthey bhavae aapae hi ravae
He adorns, He colors, He himself bestows grace.
Nanakji, He himself exults, when they such then mate in love
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