Guidance needed

Family, love, marriage, children and the relationship of ourselves to our own soul and to the Guru

Guidance needed

Postby Kaur S » Mon Oct 29, 2018 1:21 pm

I am a sikh girl who was introduced to a sikh boy recently for mariage mutually by our parents. We got engaged, it lasted only 10 days and he called it off. I did not know him for long but i feel broken. The reason he called it off is because i had been in a relationship with another sikh boy earlier who kept promising me mariage for over 6 years but could not keep his promis. His parents did not agree and so i ended things with him and later was introduced to the man who i got engaged to. I had told my fiance all about my previous relation when we were introduced. After my engagement my X showed up at my fiances work place and created a scene which caused my fiance to break the engagement off. He cut off comminication with me completely. As it was arranged the elders tried sorting the matter but my fiance had his mind made up. I know his reaction to this sutuation looks completely off but i understand him. He has seen alot of tough times in life and was never a person to commit. I was the only one he felt comfortable enough with. He is 36years of age. I respect his need for space.
Problem is that despite understanding and accepting everything i just can not let go. My mind keeps thinking of him. I feel like this can not be it. Waheguru ji did not put us together for us to just end it like this. This incident had caused alot of emotional imbalance in me and i feel lost and confused. I have been reading alot about sanjog and vijog. I have been reading about how Gurbani discourages attachment to all things in this world as nothing is real. But i can not stop thinking about him (my fiance). And funny thing is i did not know him enough to have fallen in lovd with him. I read an article about marriage and how it is about two bodies and one soul. How union by marriage(sanjog) is for the soul to be one inorder for us to be reunited with the true one. How we guide each other to the right path towards God. And ever since i have this fixation that my fiance and i are ment to be. Since we are not even speaking to each other all this eventually ends up hurting me more. I just dont know if i am supposed to hold on and wait for him to somehow reconsider and try to work things out or to let go and move on. But the thought of letting go just hurts too much. In my ardas i keep asking God to guide me to the path that is right by him. But my emotions are so imbalanced that i get no peace in anything. Not even in listening to kirtan or doing simran. I know Guru's hukam is what i have to go by. But is there any hope for me? Is there something in Gurbani that can spirutualy guide me out of my troubled state? Please help me.
Kaur S
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Re: Guidance needed

Postby gurmail » Tue Nov 06, 2018 1:54 pm

You have to tell him how you feel and then the rest is up to him. Keep it simple and just say what you have written
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