How do I save my marriage

Family, love, marriage, children and the relationship of ourselves to our own soul and to the Guru
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How do I save my marriage

Post by Manpreetk18 »

Hi everyone. I need help and guidance, please help me. I am a 31 year old who has been married for the past 5 years and now the divorce is in the process of going through which can be stopped at any point but I can't do that until my husband also wants to save this marriage. I dont want to go into to much details of what happened. I know I have tried everything I could do to make this marriage work and still it has ended up this way. My husband says he loves but was not willing to do what it takes to make this marriage work. All I really asked for was for him to spend more time with me (he was never at home), and just to be settled and start a family life. Loads of problems happened in the house as I was living with his parents. Main one being his dad decided sell the house we was all living in only to go live on rent. With all of us. Reasons behind they want to move to another country where they have bought a property that is being built. So we needed to get a house which is where our bigger issues came about as he was just avoiding doing that. Long story short, his dad filled his ears against my family and told him to wait 2 more years to buy a house. I didn't want to carry on living like yhat bcoz there was no space and besides I wanted to start a family. It was made out I am trying to seperate him from his parent's. Told me to pack everything and just go which I did and his parents did not even try to stop me. In between we spoke and as he told me to sort myself out and come back. I just said not like this. Let's get a house, a flat, anything and then I will bcoz that's priority. He refused saying he would rather carry on living with his parents. It's been 8.5 months now. I have not seen him even once. I have tried and tried to talk to him about it. In the end I had to file for divorce which I don't even want and I told him I don't want it. I would rather fix our problems.

I have been doing paath and ardaas to wageguru to save my marriagemail as much as I can. I am someone who never done any. I didn't even know how to pronounce words and it's all self taught by listening and reading. And now I daily do the 5 nitnems though not in the morning, sukhmani sahib paath, 11 so purukh sahib, 11 gobinday mukanday, dhan dhan taamdas gur shabad from YouTube, moolmantra (I try to do atleast 756 though not possible everyday), shabad hazare.

Is there any other I can do which can help me? I believe marriage is for a lifetime and waheguru blessed me with this marriage and now I don't want it to end. Always praying to god to make me strong and help me save my marriage.

Thank you
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Re: How do I save my marriage

Post by AaKaur »

Hi Manpreetk18,
Sorry to haer about your difficulties. Can your family intervene? Filing for divorce is probably what they want anyway so you may have handed them what they desire. I've been in your situation myself and had to accept it was futile to carry on. I think you'll need dialogue; are there mediation services in your area?
I hope things go well for you.
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Re: How do I save my marriage

Post by 1jyot2moorti »

I hope you can save your marriage yet ....

Here is my take. Each one of you is right and wrong.

You are not asking for a house. You have a lot of dreams with him and want to live them. Now.

He is not denying you a house. As a man, he is stuck between his family that raised him and a woman he loves so very much.
He wants to live the same dream. But, tomorrow. And with his parents in tow.

I would suggest that you show him this. He will possibly nod to it.

Make a small pact between the two of you, to live a little today and live a little tomorrow.
But to share a cup of tea, every day.

I think what you are fighting over is way too much for a divorce. Life could pose bigger challenges than that. And the two of you are failing at very little, given your lack of experience and dearth of hand-holding elders.