Sikh Lifestyle: Hair
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Sikh Lifestyle: Hair
by Guest » Sat Jun 05, 2010 9:09 pm
Satnam Ji,
I just started wearing a turban earlier this year. I am one of the few Indian women who wear a turban like a lot of American Sikhs do. I am still quite young (early 20's), and lately I have really been struggling. I have not taken Amrit yet, but I want to and that is why I have been struggling. I started wearing a turban because I just fell in love with the feeling. I saw myself as two different people--one (without a turban) who was feisty, agitated, irritable, and negative more often than positive and another (with a turban) who was truly happy, neutral, non-reactive, and in total bliss. When I started wearing my turban I didn't feel right about wearing it and still cutting my hair--like shaving my legs, etc. So I stopped cutting all of my hair, as though I had taken Amrit.
Now I am really struggling because I have heard so many viewpoints and I don't know what to do or think. When I stopped cutting my hair that also means that I stopped shaping my eyebrows and removing any facial hair. My spiritual teacher is in total agreement with that. She is an American Sikh who also wears a turban with a chuney daily, just as I do now. She also really doesn't have a lot of facial hair and she started wearing her full bana and took Amrit when she was 30--not as young as me.
My mom was in total support of me wearing a turban, until my hair started growing back more on my face. Naturally because I am Indian I do have a lot of facial hair. I bleach it, so it is not as noticeable, but being an Indian mom she still frustrated by it. She has really adapted to America well, but still to an extent has that old Indian ideal of how a woman should always look attractive, and I'm not married yet, and facial hair is not attractive, etc. etc. Almost every other day she manages to make some comment about the hair on my face and tries to encourage me to remove it. This is a big reason why I have not taken Amrit. I don't particularly like having hair on my face, or legs or arms myself, but I also to an extent feel like if this is Guru's will then I should just follow without questions. I am just tired of being ridiculed by my mom and sometimes so much hair everywhere gets uncomfortable, especially because I am not used to it because I was born and raised cutting my hair.
This is such a pivotal issue for so many young people, and I get upset with all of my male friends who have taken Amrit for trimming their beards. An argument can be made that men are meant to have hair on their faces and women are not (but who said that?? society---and why should we give into societal norms?). I was always raised as somewhat of a fashionista--I modeled for some years and it is due to my mom and sister that I even endeavored to wear make-up, which I have done on a daily basis for years now. So having so much facial hair is really a big change for me and clearly my family as well.
My Kundalini yoga teacher says that God would never want you to feel less feminine (and hair on my face and legs does make me feel less feminine)--so you have to reconcile that. He took Amrit and he doesn't wear a kara everyday or certain things that Amritdaris are "supposed to do," and he says that his devotion cannot be matched. His heart is totally in the right place and that is what counts. I believe that that is important--doing things because your "supposed to" is meaningless; there are many people who cut their hair and still achieve liberation. He also cited a lecture from Yogi Bhajan stating how people who get stuck in rituals are fools (which I agree with) and that women are allowed to remove facial hair.
So now my spiritual teacher is in disagreement with my yoga teacher and my mom supports my turban, but not the idea of having facial hair, and I am frustrated because a big part of me wants to remove the hair, but I don't necessarily agree with the idea of taking Amrit and cutting my hair. I will take Amrit sometime soon.
Could you please advise?
Satnam
I just started wearing a turban earlier this year. I am one of the few Indian women who wear a turban like a lot of American Sikhs do. I am still quite young (early 20's), and lately I have really been struggling. I have not taken Amrit yet, but I want to and that is why I have been struggling. I started wearing a turban because I just fell in love with the feeling. I saw myself as two different people--one (without a turban) who was feisty, agitated, irritable, and negative more often than positive and another (with a turban) who was truly happy, neutral, non-reactive, and in total bliss. When I started wearing my turban I didn't feel right about wearing it and still cutting my hair--like shaving my legs, etc. So I stopped cutting all of my hair, as though I had taken Amrit.
Now I am really struggling because I have heard so many viewpoints and I don't know what to do or think. When I stopped cutting my hair that also means that I stopped shaping my eyebrows and removing any facial hair. My spiritual teacher is in total agreement with that. She is an American Sikh who also wears a turban with a chuney daily, just as I do now. She also really doesn't have a lot of facial hair and she started wearing her full bana and took Amrit when she was 30--not as young as me.
My mom was in total support of me wearing a turban, until my hair started growing back more on my face. Naturally because I am Indian I do have a lot of facial hair. I bleach it, so it is not as noticeable, but being an Indian mom she still frustrated by it. She has really adapted to America well, but still to an extent has that old Indian ideal of how a woman should always look attractive, and I'm not married yet, and facial hair is not attractive, etc. etc. Almost every other day she manages to make some comment about the hair on my face and tries to encourage me to remove it. This is a big reason why I have not taken Amrit. I don't particularly like having hair on my face, or legs or arms myself, but I also to an extent feel like if this is Guru's will then I should just follow without questions. I am just tired of being ridiculed by my mom and sometimes so much hair everywhere gets uncomfortable, especially because I am not used to it because I was born and raised cutting my hair.
This is such a pivotal issue for so many young people, and I get upset with all of my male friends who have taken Amrit for trimming their beards. An argument can be made that men are meant to have hair on their faces and women are not (but who said that?? society---and why should we give into societal norms?). I was always raised as somewhat of a fashionista--I modeled for some years and it is due to my mom and sister that I even endeavored to wear make-up, which I have done on a daily basis for years now. So having so much facial hair is really a big change for me and clearly my family as well.
My Kundalini yoga teacher says that God would never want you to feel less feminine (and hair on my face and legs does make me feel less feminine)--so you have to reconcile that. He took Amrit and he doesn't wear a kara everyday or certain things that Amritdaris are "supposed to do," and he says that his devotion cannot be matched. His heart is totally in the right place and that is what counts. I believe that that is important--doing things because your "supposed to" is meaningless; there are many people who cut their hair and still achieve liberation. He also cited a lecture from Yogi Bhajan stating how people who get stuck in rituals are fools (which I agree with) and that women are allowed to remove facial hair.
So now my spiritual teacher is in disagreement with my yoga teacher and my mom supports my turban, but not the idea of having facial hair, and I am frustrated because a big part of me wants to remove the hair, but I don't necessarily agree with the idea of taking Amrit and cutting my hair. I will take Amrit sometime soon.
Could you please advise?
Satnam
-
Guest
Re: Sikh Lifestyle: Hair
by sati121 » Sun Jun 06, 2010 4:55 am
Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji ke Fateh,
Dear sister I understand this is a big issue of cutting your hair and taking amrit but since my sister is in the same situation as you I hopefully can help you with this issue. My sister feels the same way as she really wanted to take amrit but she knew that growing her hair on her face was impossible as it was too long and going work/uni it would be too hard and due to society pressures it would be difficult. But deep in her heart she thought that the way to higher spirtual progress and the guru's happiness is to take amrit.
Basically it came down to 3 choices for her:
1) You can't do 2 things like take amrit and cut your hair at the same time. You must choose between 1 as it is a requirement to keep uncut hair if you want to take amrit.
2) Take amrit and face society with uncut hair if you can manage?
3) Take amrit but stay away from society.
My sister's concerns were"Can I still meet god if don't take amrit?" The anwser was YES you can as the other 6 billion + people who haven't taken amrit can as well otherwise it would be unfair to them.
"why has waheguru given me hair on my face then?" This was waheguru's will if you can keep it, it will be better of course but since you have problems of always thinking about society and how will you remember god if your always worried about how you look.
But fashion and cutting hair for no reason like men do is a sin. So FASHION is Sin.
(I remember in yogi bachan's videos he goes people where all these modern revealing clothes and makeup as way to attract the opposite sex he called it (mental prostitution). So remember this dear sister.
But if you don't take amrit the main thing will be to have the same REHAT as a practising amritdari sikh.
"Rehat pyaree mujh ko sikh pyarah nahi"
A code of conduct for a sikh is dear to me not the sikh itself
So make sure you do simran do your 5 bania in the morning, Kirtan sohila .rehras sahib etc. NO Meat (It is a big sin) etc. No fashion.
All in all remember if you decide not to take amrit make sure your rehit is the same as an amritdari person.
But importantly you can't take amrit and cut your hair at the same time. You'll have to choose?
But if you can manage and take amrit without cutting your hair then go for it.
I myself is amritdari and you recalled that your mum says that you won't look beautiful if you grow your hair. I strongly disagree I personally think that a women with uncut facial is beautiful not just from the outside but also from the inside.
As she is mentally strong and can face society also she has stong values. So don't put of not growing your hair for the sake of marriage as will surely find people who don't reallyc care how you look.
Anyway good luck bhenji with whatever decission you make and remember always stay in chardi kala, be happy. Good luck
Dear sister I understand this is a big issue of cutting your hair and taking amrit but since my sister is in the same situation as you I hopefully can help you with this issue. My sister feels the same way as she really wanted to take amrit but she knew that growing her hair on her face was impossible as it was too long and going work/uni it would be too hard and due to society pressures it would be difficult. But deep in her heart she thought that the way to higher spirtual progress and the guru's happiness is to take amrit.
Basically it came down to 3 choices for her:
1) You can't do 2 things like take amrit and cut your hair at the same time. You must choose between 1 as it is a requirement to keep uncut hair if you want to take amrit.
2) Take amrit and face society with uncut hair if you can manage?
3) Take amrit but stay away from society.
My sister's concerns were"Can I still meet god if don't take amrit?" The anwser was YES you can as the other 6 billion + people who haven't taken amrit can as well otherwise it would be unfair to them.
"why has waheguru given me hair on my face then?" This was waheguru's will if you can keep it, it will be better of course but since you have problems of always thinking about society and how will you remember god if your always worried about how you look.
But fashion and cutting hair for no reason like men do is a sin. So FASHION is Sin.
(I remember in yogi bachan's videos he goes people where all these modern revealing clothes and makeup as way to attract the opposite sex he called it (mental prostitution). So remember this dear sister.
But if you don't take amrit the main thing will be to have the same REHAT as a practising amritdari sikh.
"Rehat pyaree mujh ko sikh pyarah nahi"
A code of conduct for a sikh is dear to me not the sikh itself
So make sure you do simran do your 5 bania in the morning, Kirtan sohila .rehras sahib etc. NO Meat (It is a big sin) etc. No fashion.
All in all remember if you decide not to take amrit make sure your rehit is the same as an amritdari person.
But importantly you can't take amrit and cut your hair at the same time. You'll have to choose?
But if you can manage and take amrit without cutting your hair then go for it.
I myself is amritdari and you recalled that your mum says that you won't look beautiful if you grow your hair. I strongly disagree I personally think that a women with uncut facial is beautiful not just from the outside but also from the inside.
As she is mentally strong and can face society also she has stong values. So don't put of not growing your hair for the sake of marriage as will surely find people who don't reallyc care how you look.
Anyway good luck bhenji with whatever decission you make and remember always stay in chardi kala, be happy. Good luck
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Re: Sikh Lifestyle: Hair
by Guest » Mon Jun 07, 2010 12:20 pm
Bhaji,
Thank you for your kind words of support and encouragement. My problem is that I do what I do so that I can be of service to others. I wear my full bana everyday as Guru intended--so that I stand up and stand out so people know who to come to if they need help with something. On a daily basis I wear a turban, a chuney over my turban, and all white because that to me is the best way that I can serve people.
I have felt the difference in me in wearing a turban and when I don't wear a turban, and that is how I came to wearing my full bana daily. I feel the change in myself, of me being truly me. My purpose behind it is to reach a higher me, so that I may be of service to all.
If I am constantly worried about how the hair on my face looks, then I am not good to anyone and wearing my bana useless because in such a disturbed state of mind anything I say will not be from a higher place, so it really will not serve anyone who seeks advice or help.
I was reading some other blogs on this topic and they say that amritdharis are to keep their hair unaltered--meaning no bleaching either. As I said before, I have been bleaching (I have not taken amrit yet so this is not wrong right now). I am only remotely comfortable with the way that I look now because I have been bleaching. Even that does not make the hair unoticeable--it is still very noticeable because not all of it gets bleached very well. So after reading that bleaching is not acceptable, then I feel like there is no difference in me cutting my hair or bleaching it...is there?
Wasn't the purpose of wearing bana so that in difficult times people knew who to look for to protect them? That was why Guru's created bana. So am I not keeping by that just because I cut the hair on my face? I still stand out everywhere I go, I still look different. The struggles people discuss in wearing bana is that they don't like standing out and that is why it is a difficult path. I have no problem facing those difficulties. I proudly wear my bana everyday!
So why is it so harmful to cut only the hair on my face? Yoga instructors say there is an energetic difference; I have not felt that, like I felt the difference in wearing my turban. You mentioned Yogi Ji---he also says in one of his lectures that it is okay for amritdhari women to cut the hair on their face.
I don't think Guru intended for me to walk around feeling all self-conscious about myself, disliking myself because of my hair, or feeling like a man. He would want me to feel feminine, strong, and powerful--and I feel all of that in everything except the hair on my face. So I am not saying that I am not willing to face struggles of wearing a turban; I just feel that hair on my face isn't serving me or anyone else, so why should I have it?
To me it seems like these two options:
1. Don't take amrit--which is dumb because I don't think I could stop wearing a turban. I have committed to my turban and my bana and I love it; so not to be an amritdhari now would be foolish.
2. Take amrit and accept that I may face consequences later for cutting the hair on my face, but I did what I felt was right for me in that time and space.
There are so many people who have taken amrit multiple times and broken it by drinking, eating meat, etc. Isn't life about what is doing right for yourself? What is right for you isn't right for me...everyone has to find what works for them (within reason of course). I follow everything for amrit already---I gave up drinking before I even turned 21, I have been vegetarian for years now, and I feel in my heart and soul that taking amrit is the next step for me, and all this nonsense is what is holding me back.
Thank you for your kind words of support and encouragement. My problem is that I do what I do so that I can be of service to others. I wear my full bana everyday as Guru intended--so that I stand up and stand out so people know who to come to if they need help with something. On a daily basis I wear a turban, a chuney over my turban, and all white because that to me is the best way that I can serve people.
I have felt the difference in me in wearing a turban and when I don't wear a turban, and that is how I came to wearing my full bana daily. I feel the change in myself, of me being truly me. My purpose behind it is to reach a higher me, so that I may be of service to all.
If I am constantly worried about how the hair on my face looks, then I am not good to anyone and wearing my bana useless because in such a disturbed state of mind anything I say will not be from a higher place, so it really will not serve anyone who seeks advice or help.
I was reading some other blogs on this topic and they say that amritdharis are to keep their hair unaltered--meaning no bleaching either. As I said before, I have been bleaching (I have not taken amrit yet so this is not wrong right now). I am only remotely comfortable with the way that I look now because I have been bleaching. Even that does not make the hair unoticeable--it is still very noticeable because not all of it gets bleached very well. So after reading that bleaching is not acceptable, then I feel like there is no difference in me cutting my hair or bleaching it...is there?
Wasn't the purpose of wearing bana so that in difficult times people knew who to look for to protect them? That was why Guru's created bana. So am I not keeping by that just because I cut the hair on my face? I still stand out everywhere I go, I still look different. The struggles people discuss in wearing bana is that they don't like standing out and that is why it is a difficult path. I have no problem facing those difficulties. I proudly wear my bana everyday!
So why is it so harmful to cut only the hair on my face? Yoga instructors say there is an energetic difference; I have not felt that, like I felt the difference in wearing my turban. You mentioned Yogi Ji---he also says in one of his lectures that it is okay for amritdhari women to cut the hair on their face.
I don't think Guru intended for me to walk around feeling all self-conscious about myself, disliking myself because of my hair, or feeling like a man. He would want me to feel feminine, strong, and powerful--and I feel all of that in everything except the hair on my face. So I am not saying that I am not willing to face struggles of wearing a turban; I just feel that hair on my face isn't serving me or anyone else, so why should I have it?
To me it seems like these two options:
1. Don't take amrit--which is dumb because I don't think I could stop wearing a turban. I have committed to my turban and my bana and I love it; so not to be an amritdhari now would be foolish.
2. Take amrit and accept that I may face consequences later for cutting the hair on my face, but I did what I felt was right for me in that time and space.
There are so many people who have taken amrit multiple times and broken it by drinking, eating meat, etc. Isn't life about what is doing right for yourself? What is right for you isn't right for me...everyone has to find what works for them (within reason of course). I follow everything for amrit already---I gave up drinking before I even turned 21, I have been vegetarian for years now, and I feel in my heart and soul that taking amrit is the next step for me, and all this nonsense is what is holding me back.
-
Guest
Re: Sikh Lifestyle: Hair
by Ajna » Sun Jun 20, 2010 9:10 pm
daughteroftheguru:
Greetings! Namaste!
I am Ajna, pleased to meet you!
I don't have the answers to all your a b c's, But I DO have an Idea. Here is a little fact, one of the reasons the sikh's do not cut their heir is because they believe it is an energy transmitter, for thought and prana. So by cutting, or bleaching for that matter it would damage the functionality of the hair. There is a purpose for everything that is created, I would recommend to follow your own intuition and intelligence since you seem very bright. Why follow a Guru blindly? I know your gut has the answers, follow your heart. I am 23 and am a Hindu, yet have studied, and have heard Sikh Gurus speak about the hair and wrapping it into "coil conductors" in their turban. They claim to have the same effects your getting clear, focused etc..
I am currently not cutting my hair, but I attend college, and I face the same thing...if I have a beard I would scare ppl away my age, thinking im like 54!....:/
The main point is the function of the hair is what counts, so it might influence your decision, and help liberate you from nonsensical mental arguing that leads to more nonsense.
Sincerly, Love n' Light,
-Ajna
Greetings! Namaste!
I am Ajna, pleased to meet you!
I don't have the answers to all your a b c's, But I DO have an Idea. Here is a little fact, one of the reasons the sikh's do not cut their heir is because they believe it is an energy transmitter, for thought and prana. So by cutting, or bleaching for that matter it would damage the functionality of the hair. There is a purpose for everything that is created, I would recommend to follow your own intuition and intelligence since you seem very bright. Why follow a Guru blindly? I know your gut has the answers, follow your heart. I am 23 and am a Hindu, yet have studied, and have heard Sikh Gurus speak about the hair and wrapping it into "coil conductors" in their turban. They claim to have the same effects your getting clear, focused etc..
I am currently not cutting my hair, but I attend college, and I face the same thing...if I have a beard I would scare ppl away my age, thinking im like 54!....:/
The main point is the function of the hair is what counts, so it might influence your decision, and help liberate you from nonsensical mental arguing that leads to more nonsense.
Sincerly, Love n' Light,
-Ajna
- Ajna
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Re: Sikh Lifestyle: Hair
by Sukhdeep_Singh » Mon Jun 21, 2010 2:05 pm
Bhenji you are truly blessed. Your dedication despite much pressure truly shows you are a worthy candidate of Amrit. It appears that GUru Sahib is making you into a princess while the rest of the world is trying to make you into a slave of Maya. May Guru Sahib continue to bless you with strength and blessings.
Best Wishes :)
Best Wishes :)
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Re: Sikh Lifestyle: Hair
by Sabrina Kaur » Sat Jul 03, 2010 12:14 am
Behen ji,
Facial hair are normal. Some hormonal imbalances may cause excess facial hair like peer pressure, stress, and isolation. My mom had no facial hair or legs hairs . She never shaved once in her life. I met this friends in school who introduced me to expensive brand of make up & they suggested some methods of removing the hairs. But shaving or hair removing products only makes the hair grow more coarser. Do not fall into peer pressure to look cool.
Facial hair are normal. Some hormonal imbalances may cause excess facial hair like peer pressure, stress, and isolation. My mom had no facial hair or legs hairs . She never shaved once in her life. I met this friends in school who introduced me to expensive brand of make up & they suggested some methods of removing the hairs. But shaving or hair removing products only makes the hair grow more coarser. Do not fall into peer pressure to look cool.
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Re: Sikh Lifestyle: Hair
by Raie » Mon Aug 02, 2010 7:23 am
Waheguru ji ka khalsa! Waheguru ji ki fateh!
Hello Guest -
Perhaps it is too late, and you have gone forward with the decision that felt right for you, but I had some thoughts and questions about your post last night, and wanted to share them.
My first question is: if you know in advance that you are not willing to maintain the vow of keeping kesh, then why would you willing take amrit at this time? I think that there is a difference between taking amrit with the full intention of keeping all the vows, but then breaking them out of a weakness, and seeking redress. However, going in with a rationalization about why you are not going to keep a vow feels dishonest. What is wrong with wearing bana at this time, and not moving forward with amrit? Wouldn't this be the most honest way to express your devotion at this time?
I also believe that it is possible to have devotion and to realize God without following the amritdhari path - but again, if you don't believe in the principles of it, why would you commit to that path if it doesn't seem to align with your own feelings? There are many paths to God, so why would you externally adopt a path that you are not following?
I think that it is a very sexist double standard that claims women don't need to keep their kesh because it's supposedly unattractive for them to be in their natural form. Keeping bana and kesh is not just about standing out as a beacon - it is also about humbling yourself to the will of the Guru and not being swayed by the dictates of our society.
I think that this also challenges men in our society who have likewise been socialized to see as beautiful a very specific type of form, and this is why some may argue that the standards are different for women.
Is it challenging to push against our own socialization, which is so deep it is hard for us to experience ourselves as feminine when in our natural form? Absolutely. But that's the point - for us to have the courage to trust in Waheguru that we will be supported in this challenge, and that we will be joined with life partners in marriage who are drawn to this courage.
Reclaiming the experience of your natural body as feminine and beautiful takes time. Think - you have been taught for 23 years that you need to adjust yourself, and now you are beginning on a different path.
I am not for a second arguing that you shouldn't cut your hair, or bleach your hair or do any number of things which feel right for you - but simply that you do not claim or take vows that indicate you are on the path that you aren't.
My experience with keeping kesh has seen me grow it, then cut it, then grow it again as I struggle with so many of the same things that you have brought up around feeling feminine, overcoming ego, of wanting to be 'attractive.' I feel for the difficulties that you have brought up, and just want to express my solidarity with you!!!
My thoughts are - Keep bana, and when you're ready to keep kesh, then take amrit!!
You are on a beautiful and powerful path - thank you for sharing your story and giving us all the opportunity to offer our thoughts.
satnam,
rae
Hello Guest -
Perhaps it is too late, and you have gone forward with the decision that felt right for you, but I had some thoughts and questions about your post last night, and wanted to share them.
My first question is: if you know in advance that you are not willing to maintain the vow of keeping kesh, then why would you willing take amrit at this time? I think that there is a difference between taking amrit with the full intention of keeping all the vows, but then breaking them out of a weakness, and seeking redress. However, going in with a rationalization about why you are not going to keep a vow feels dishonest. What is wrong with wearing bana at this time, and not moving forward with amrit? Wouldn't this be the most honest way to express your devotion at this time?
Guest wrote: My Kundalini yoga teacher says that God would never want you to feel less feminine (and hair on my face and legs does make me feel less feminine)--so you have to reconcile that. He took Amrit and he doesn't wear a kara everyday or certain things that Amritdaris are "supposed to do," and he says that his devotion cannot be matched. His heart is totally in the right place and that is what counts. I believe that that is important--doing things because your "supposed to" is meaningless; there are many people who cut their hair and still achieve liberation. He also cited a lecture from Yogi Bhajan stating how people who get stuck in rituals are fools (which I agree with) and that women are allowed to remove facial hair.
I also believe that it is possible to have devotion and to realize God without following the amritdhari path - but again, if you don't believe in the principles of it, why would you commit to that path if it doesn't seem to align with your own feelings? There are many paths to God, so why would you externally adopt a path that you are not following?
I think that it is a very sexist double standard that claims women don't need to keep their kesh because it's supposedly unattractive for them to be in their natural form. Keeping bana and kesh is not just about standing out as a beacon - it is also about humbling yourself to the will of the Guru and not being swayed by the dictates of our society.
I think that this also challenges men in our society who have likewise been socialized to see as beautiful a very specific type of form, and this is why some may argue that the standards are different for women.
Is it challenging to push against our own socialization, which is so deep it is hard for us to experience ourselves as feminine when in our natural form? Absolutely. But that's the point - for us to have the courage to trust in Waheguru that we will be supported in this challenge, and that we will be joined with life partners in marriage who are drawn to this courage.
Reclaiming the experience of your natural body as feminine and beautiful takes time. Think - you have been taught for 23 years that you need to adjust yourself, and now you are beginning on a different path.
I am not for a second arguing that you shouldn't cut your hair, or bleach your hair or do any number of things which feel right for you - but simply that you do not claim or take vows that indicate you are on the path that you aren't.
My experience with keeping kesh has seen me grow it, then cut it, then grow it again as I struggle with so many of the same things that you have brought up around feeling feminine, overcoming ego, of wanting to be 'attractive.' I feel for the difficulties that you have brought up, and just want to express my solidarity with you!!!
My thoughts are - Keep bana, and when you're ready to keep kesh, then take amrit!!
You are on a beautiful and powerful path - thank you for sharing your story and giving us all the opportunity to offer our thoughts.
satnam,
rae
- Raie
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Re: Sikh Lifestyle: Hair
by Khalsa.Fauj.13 » Fri Sep 10, 2010 2:53 am
Waheguru Ji ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji ki Fateh...
You know all our lives we try to be what other people around us want us to be.... But my uncle always tells me that Guru ki Bandagi and Rahet are two things that belong only to yourself and nobody else.... Because in the end only Three stand i.e You, Your Guru and Akal Purakh.....
I see that you are under a lot of pressure from you mom and the other people around you.... But cutting your hair or not, taking amrit or not, being in rahet or not are your decisions to make.... and go for amrit only when you inside yourself know that it is the right thing for you and that you can hold it with all the devotion and love it needs.... and if you don't have that much courage or you don't feel like that then its alright.... Its your life and your bandagi.... Its all up to you....
and if inside you feel like taking amrit but you can't handle the pressure of the society then there is one thing that can save you i.e "Ardaas".... A sikh's ardaas never goes in vain.... But the thing is that you have to have patience and positivity.... So pray in front of your Guru with all your devotion to grant you the courage to be a part of the panth he created.... Our Guru takes care of all the worldly problems for us if we are devoted to him and have devoted our mind, body and soul to his will.....
May God Bless you....
Regards...
DsD...
You know all our lives we try to be what other people around us want us to be.... But my uncle always tells me that Guru ki Bandagi and Rahet are two things that belong only to yourself and nobody else.... Because in the end only Three stand i.e You, Your Guru and Akal Purakh.....
I see that you are under a lot of pressure from you mom and the other people around you.... But cutting your hair or not, taking amrit or not, being in rahet or not are your decisions to make.... and go for amrit only when you inside yourself know that it is the right thing for you and that you can hold it with all the devotion and love it needs.... and if you don't have that much courage or you don't feel like that then its alright.... Its your life and your bandagi.... Its all up to you....
and if inside you feel like taking amrit but you can't handle the pressure of the society then there is one thing that can save you i.e "Ardaas".... A sikh's ardaas never goes in vain.... But the thing is that you have to have patience and positivity.... So pray in front of your Guru with all your devotion to grant you the courage to be a part of the panth he created.... Our Guru takes care of all the worldly problems for us if we are devoted to him and have devoted our mind, body and soul to his will.....
May God Bless you....
Regards...
DsD...
-
Khalsa.Fauj.13 - Active Forum User
- Posts: 41
- Joined: Fri Sep 10, 2010 2:17 am
- Location: Chandigarh,India.
Re: Sikh Lifestyle: Hair
by daughteroftheguru » Thu Oct 28, 2010 11:29 pm
To All who responded to my post:
Thank you all so much for your kind words and encouragement! I am sorry for my very belated response.
I thought you might all be interested to know that even though I only just now read most of your posts, I went ahead and too your advice. I did what was right for me for now, and I have postponed taking Amrit because I do not want to take it with the intent to break those vows (as one of you mentioned). I have not cut any of my hair, and that is becoming more sustainable now. I think my family is finally starting to accept my decisions, and that is helpful so that I am not facing so much pressure from them.
I still stand strong wearing my bana each day, and I feel that by early next year I will be ready to take Amrit, but until then I just want to make sure that I feel solid about that decision so much that I would never go back on it. I love my bana and I love my turban. As I grow on this path more and more people are drawn to me and seek help from me, and it is such a joy to know that.
Sometimes people who are not familiar think that I am getting married, and when they ask my response is that I am marrying my Guru. Everyday when I put my turban on, I am solidifying that connection, and that is a total joy. For me, Amrit is a solidification of that marriage, and I am excited to undergo it, when that time is right! :-)
Thank you all again for your support and kind words.
I encourage anyone else who might be dealing with these issues to share here and feel the support of this loving community.
Many blessings to all!
Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh
Thank you all so much for your kind words and encouragement! I am sorry for my very belated response.
I thought you might all be interested to know that even though I only just now read most of your posts, I went ahead and too your advice. I did what was right for me for now, and I have postponed taking Amrit because I do not want to take it with the intent to break those vows (as one of you mentioned). I have not cut any of my hair, and that is becoming more sustainable now. I think my family is finally starting to accept my decisions, and that is helpful so that I am not facing so much pressure from them.
I still stand strong wearing my bana each day, and I feel that by early next year I will be ready to take Amrit, but until then I just want to make sure that I feel solid about that decision so much that I would never go back on it. I love my bana and I love my turban. As I grow on this path more and more people are drawn to me and seek help from me, and it is such a joy to know that.
Sometimes people who are not familiar think that I am getting married, and when they ask my response is that I am marrying my Guru. Everyday when I put my turban on, I am solidifying that connection, and that is a total joy. For me, Amrit is a solidification of that marriage, and I am excited to undergo it, when that time is right! :-)
Thank you all again for your support and kind words.
I encourage anyone else who might be dealing with these issues to share here and feel the support of this loving community.
Many blessings to all!
Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh
- daughteroftheguru
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