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Caste and relationships

Posted: Sat Aug 01, 2020 6:07 am
by preetkaurg
Good morning to everybody, I hope you are all well and healthy (and your families) during these trying times.

I'm looking for some advice and I would be very grateful for opinions or pointers to help me with a situation I have going on. I am a female, mid 20s and in a relationship of 3 years. Me and my partner (amritdhari Sikh) have been discussing marriage, and so I had to be open with my family about my relationship. Although I do not believe in caste as per Sikhi, my family do, and my partner is of Tarkhan background but we would be Jatt.

My family are massive believers in caste - so much so I have never met a family like this. Threats of disownment or murder over things like caste. We had a 'discussion' yesterday about this. This discussion resulted in some very troubling statements about our family being the best and everybody else below us. Talk of my actions bringing shame to our family so much so that they will have to uproot their lives and move elsewhere. The most troubling statement being that it would be better for me to have 'experiences' with other people rather than continuing with this relationship.

My family do their paath, but believe in these things - they are deep rooted issues. I am very hurt and cannot look at them. I can't speak anymore.

I am stuck. I want my family to be happy and I do not want to jeopardise their relationships with my actions, but I have had a miserable life up to this point and I also want to be happy.

Thank you for reading


Re: Caste and relationships

Posted: Tue Aug 04, 2020 5:58 am
by hamed

It's seems to be a very difficult situation. However, a healthy relationship between the family members have to be built on mutual respect. If you live only to make them happy for all your life you may be end up unsatisfied with your character and actions.