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Problems in my marriage please help!

Posted: Mon Dec 30, 2019 4:58 pm
by dsd_252008
Hi, my 3 year marriage anniversary is approaching fast and so is my birthday. I’ve been having problems with my marriage. My wife always accuses me of lying to her too much. My wife said she would threaten to leave me and go back to India. When she says “you lied to me i don’t want to talk to you and you don’t touch me!!” when we are in bed together. There are some nights she starts the arguments in bedroom. She says “I hate lying peoples!!” She says ”I don’t trust you!!” I ask her ”Why you don’t trust me?” Then she bring up the past events of me lying to her. Four weeks ago when we had an argument with each other she didn’t talk to me. When I dropped her off at work she didn’t say “bye”or “take care”. After about 2 days we had the argument things started to get better. I bought her favourite chocolate bar and said I was sorry. We started to get along. Recently we had another argument. She slept in different blanket in bed and both of us didn’t say a thing to each other. After we have these arguments she says “I’m not happy with you!!” How do I gain her trust back? She lied to my mom about her Periods and said sorry to my mom. I’m feeling very worried that she could leave me and go back to India. If she leaves me I will feel shamed and that I have shamed my parents. My parents spent a lot of money on her education and bought a lot of clothes and other things for her. She recently started a new job. She earns double pay at her new job. I think she came up with a plan to have her brother come to Canada on a work permit and bring her back to India. She always asks about her brothers immigration status on the phone every day with her parents. She wants her brother come to Canada fast. I don’t want her to leave me. If I get divorced I’ll go into depression and I will never remarry again. My parents said if I get divorced it will be very difficult for you to get married again because of your age (late 30’s) and they said if you get divorced who will look after you when you’re alone and both of us are dead? I want a grandchild for my parents so badly because my parents are getting old. If I keep delaying the baby planning my parents won’t be able to look after our baby because of their age. My parents are saying when they get old it will be my brother and I responsibility to look after them. If we have a baby together my wife wouldn’t leave me and go back to India. My wife and I would be a lot closer if we raised a baby together. Please help me!!!!! I want to save my marriage. This is all my fault. Feeling sad, worried and scared. I feel that I’m a failure.

Re: Problems in my marriage please help!

Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2020 5:20 am
by singhbj
Hello dsd am no expert but I agree that you should have baby. Therefore will recommend that you go on a second honeymoon.

It's best to spend time alone as a couple every now n then. Do something which you both enjoy like travelling, shopping, fine dining etc

Bring out your best & impress her.