Atheists having a Sikh wedding

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Atheists having a Sikh wedding

Post by jr438745 »

Hi all,

I am reaching out for advice on a sensitive topic, I hope that no one misinterprets anything I say as disrespect to the Sikh religion as that is the furthest from this.

I have been an atheist since I was 10 years old, I come from a Sikh family. They are understanding and respectful of my beliefs even if they do not agree, as I am of theirs. In the near future I will be marrying my fiancé (also an atheist) who comes from a Hindu-Punjabi family. We are both professionals - him a doctor and myself an accountant and our families have respected the deacon we have made as we have both been respectful and mindful of their religion and practices. I had always pictured myself to have a secular wedding but as it is becoming a reality we are facing influences from both families. My mother has flat out told me she will not be present at my wedding if it does not occur in front of the Guru Granth Sahib because "my marriage will not be recognized by god". His mother is the same about having a Hindu ceremony. There are also social influences as our families are well known in our communities and both families want a large extravagant wedding - very opposite to our wish for a secular civil wedding ceremony. Any objection we have is countered with a "What will people think?" We both value our parents and are willing to let go of our stance and have our wedding according to our families wishes. I value the Sikh teachings and resonate its core teachings of love and understanding, but obviously I cannot be considered a Sikh because of my viewpoint on the concepts of souls, god, and afterlife.

As it seems like we will be having two marriage ceremonies (Sikh and Hindu) I would just like advice to go about this in the most respectful way to the religions. I do not believe having the Sikh wedding in the gurudwara is mindful towards the sikh religion as we are non-believers and the gurudwara is not a place of worship for us. Could anyone guide me on the rules of having the ceremony outside. Venues we are looking at are Graydon Hall Manor or Casa Loma - in Toronto. There will not be any alcohol on the premises, the mandap location will be professionally cleaned. There have been numerous Sikh weddings at these locations prior, but I just would like to ensure everything is abiding by akal tahkts rules.

Thank you - J
Nihal Singh Kanakpuria
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Re: Atheists having a Sikh wedding

Post by Nihal Singh Kanakpuria »


I find it really hard to believe that you have been an atheist since you were 10 yrs old (despite coming from a Sikh, family), its not about the faith of your family but that you had that much of awareness and had life experiences that by 10 yrs you knew you were an atheist, agnostic i can understand but an 10 yr old atheist child is hard to comprehend.

Also i am a little confused as to how you consider it to be OK to get married in present of SGGS in a hotel venue but not get married in a Gurudwara as that's not a place of worship for you guys. I hope you are aware that Sikhs follow SGGS and do not pray to a Gurudwara as without the Guru its just a building.

As far as rules of having a Sikh wedding ceremony outside of Gurudwara then its best to consult the Gurudwara whose Granthis are going to conduct the wedding as the detailing may differ slightly between Gurudwaras and countries.

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Re: Atheists having a Sikh wedding

Post by Superstar »

Why would you have a Sikh marriage ceremony when you don't believe in the faith? That is like a scam marriage and not valid anyways. Also, your mother is acting on a morally corrupt principle of enforcing a ceremony that shouldn't happen and one that doesn't apply to you or your husband. According to the SRM, a Sikh woman shall only marry a Sikh man. Your marriage is way out of line to be happening in front of Guru Granth Sahib. Go get married in court and hold your party at night time. I don't understand why people want to have a religious wedding when they got nothing to do with the religion. Just totally unacceptable and shameless in my views.
Romesh Kumar
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Re: Atheists having a Sikh wedding

Post by Romesh Kumar »

No one has problem with some one who is or claims to be atheist.

But there is definitely a problem if that person wants to use the Holy Scriptures of some one's religious faith to ''grace the occasion of one of the events of his/her wedding".

Sikh brothers may know better but I am not for it.

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