Why sikh females prefer non-sikh males?

Discussions on various aspects of Sikhi
aman raja
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Re: Why sikh females prefer non-sikh males?

Post by aman raja »

I've read this post a few times and felt compelled to write something.

I really like what singhboy has written.

We Singhs need to step it up already. If one wears a turban and supports a beard, he already looks like Osama Bin Laden! We need to distinguish ourselves physically by having a good looking body and dressing well so that we don't look clumsy or uncivilized like Osama in Afganistan. We need to make sure our turbans are tight, our beards are combed. This is not merely to attract the opposite sex but also just to represent other Sikhs in the commmunity.

I too often see turban-wearing young SIkh men not looking to their full potentials. As singhboy said, this doesn't mean trimming your beard but keep it tidy. Dress in nice clothes. Wear nice shoes etc.

It takes merely a second to make a judgement about someone when looked at. Unfortunately, we have the media making all turbans wearers and bearded men appear like fanatics or terrorists. So we really have to work hard at changing minds.

I know that "true" gursikhs will argue that looks aren't important. To them I say "wake up". In this world, looks are everything. But I add that one doesn't always have to sacrifice their religous ideals to look did. Just step it up a bit.
Sim101
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Re: Why sikh females prefer non-sikh males?

Post by Sim101 »

I am not surprised that this question has been asked by a sikh male, this should be your que, that the problem might lie within you and within you is the answer.

My only advice to sikh men, please do not be so dominant, give some respect and equality to a sikh women, I can assure you she will not let you down. Most sikh women, especially in today's era want a man who will respect them, honor them, cherish them, defend them yet at the same time give them equal rights. A man who won't push a women down instead he will let her take charge and IF she happens to fall instead of mocking her he will help her up.

Being the 2nd female in a family dominated by at least 20 men (all cousins) I have seen how aggressive and remorseless sikh men are to their wives. All the woman wants is some respect and if she retialiates she is abused. Tell me then why should a sikh woman marry a sikh man who is abusive when she can get a man who is caring, loving and respectful.

Sikh men are good men I just wish they would change some of their ways and yes if a sikh man wants a beautiful sikh woman then it's only natural for a sikh woman to want a handsome sikh man.
Sim101
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Re: Why sikh females prefer non-sikh males?

Post by Sim101 »

Why must only a sikh woman be picked on when sikh men equally marry out of religion? I have seen a number of posts and topics on this forum constantly stating "why sikh women marry out of religion?" Why this sexism? I know many sikh men who have married white, Spanish, hindu, muslim and even black women then why is the sikh women constantly being pointed at? Why do you single her out when sikh men are doing the exact same thing?

It is sad that you all want sikh women to marry only sikh men but here you are already pointing fingers and disrespecting her.

I apologize for another post but I don't see an edit button and had to add this to my previous post.
mjs sodhi
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Re: Why sikh females prefer non-sikh males?

Post by mjs sodhi »

Singhboy, Aman Raja & Sim101,

I am totally on board with you on this one as well! It's very easy to point fingers and generalize all Sikh women in making an impresssion that majority of them want to marry Non-Sikhs more than Sikhs but obviously a no. of Sikh males have to do an introspection of some sort and understand why this might be the case even if from a valid viewpoint. Btw, I am a pooran Gursikh myself & during my school & univ. days here in North America I've met and dated a no. of Sikh and Non-Sikh females alike. I firmly believe that if one is confident, smart, reasonably good-looking (not to be equated to clean-shaven!) and knows how to dress appropriately along with a smart and neat turbans (along with appropriate colors of the turbans) Sikh or Non-Sikh females will both want you alike! On several occassions I've myself seen even young Sikh guys donning the most messed up big pink, turquoise and purple turbans that don't go with anything they are wearing besides having real messy uncombed/unbrushed beards not to mention some sporting sneakers with dress-pants(!!), and then for them to want that they will appeal to anyone (even including Sikh females) is quite unreasonable IMHO! Also, generally in my opinion in the post-911 era it is of utmost importance to stand out from the likes of the world's biggest terrorist Osama Bin Laden and his accomplices and one of the ways all Gursikhs can do this is by dressing smartly and donning neatly tied pughs with appropriate colors and shunning round white dastars totally for one!

Bhul chuk maaf,
Ghostface Killah
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Re: Why sikh females prefer non-sikh males?

Post by Ghostface Killah »

We are in the gillete, mac3 etc.. age with the whole media portrayal of clean shaven guys = hot sexy etc.. etc... big beards turbans = forign, terrorists, ugly.

Personally i feel maybe on first impressions people might have these type of notions about you, but if you have a great personality can hold up a conversation, make them smile and just conduct yourself in a good way, i dont think it matters if you have a turban or beard or not.

Stop with this negative ideas about your turban and about people not liking you because of it. Stand up and be proud of what and who you are.
drdln
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Re: Why sikh females prefer non-sikh males?

Post by drdln »

Ghostface Killah wrote:We are in the gillete, mac3 etc.. age with the whole media portrayal of clean shaven guys = hot sexy etc.. etc... big beards turbans = forign, terrorists, ugly.
In a light mode, the above reminds me the common saying back home: "jo sohni so sikhni, jo jhalla so sikh. Enjoy!
"The real purpose of religion is spirituality.
Religious wars are creation of fanatics!"
--Science,Religion& Spirituality
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss? ... &x=18&y=18
vikramjit gurufateh singh
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Re: Why sikh females prefer non-sikh males?

Post by vikramjit gurufateh singh »

Fateh parwaan karro jiyo,
jo sohni so sikhni, jo jhalla so sikh. Enjoy!
The jhala who coined this statment did not know that sohni means beautiful and jhala means stupid, so the comparision does not hold water!

And then they say beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. A Sikhni will find a Sikh handsome.

jo sonni so Sikhni, so sohna Sikh!
Irkha (jelousy) wich karde hann runn munn (shaved off) Sikha teh teh pick!

Guru Rakha
kabeer kookar ram ko mutheea maero nao ||
Kabeer, I am the Lord's dog; Moti is my name.
galae hamarae jaevaree jeh khinchai theh jao ||74||
There is a chain around my neck; wherever I am pulled, I go. ||74||
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Re: Why sikh females prefer non-sikh males?

Post by Guest »

Sat shri akal!

i agree with sikhboy.
Its the personality that matters. from the people i know, comparatively very few sikh boys go to gym or play sport, they rarely or not at all cook, do housework, are very shy ( which is kind of cute though), have the attitude that 'men do not do housework, etc

and the main thing-lot of sikh boys do not wear turban, they prefer patka which doesn't make them look as cool as turban does.

"Kalgidhar de hunde ne khas Darshan , sohne saje Singh sardar vichon
Lakhan vichon pehchaneya jaye khalsa, sardari boldi dise dastar vichon"


So boys, wear pochveen Pugg, you will be surprised by the results. I have seen this happen myself.

in year 11, ther was a sikh boy in my class who was always very polite, cheerfull, and wore very beautiful pochveen Pugg. everyone including the teachers and complete strangers respected him, everyone was impressed by his pugg. In chemistry test, everone failed. Teacher called his name and the test score - which was fail.( teacher didn't know this boy) The teacher still wasn't convinced after half an hour, us telling him that the boy is polite and only looks smart because of his sohni Pugg. teacher kept saying, he didn't believe us, because he knows that this boy looks smart, he must have gotten top marks. MORAL: Sohni Pugg impresses everyone.

& if i haven't already made myself clear, WE (SIKH GIRLS) love Sikh boys.
ImperfectSikh
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Re: Why sikh females prefer non-sikh males?

Post by ImperfectSikh »

Bearded and turbaned Sikh males are not considered "fashionable" enough for most Indian Sikh women. I am in a relationship with a non-Indian woman, and she has never complained about my saroop (in fact, she says that it is what attracted her to me initially).

I think you will find it (in case your question has a personal aspect) profitable to expand the range of your possibilities beyond Indian Sikh/non-Sikh women. If they do not want you, why waste your time on them ?

Contrary to racist stereotypes, non-Indian women are as faithful (if not more, given the issue you raised) and good cooks (addition of non-Indian cuisines to the dinner table makes the whole experience so much more enjoyable). They are not mousy submissive types (though some are), but if a guy is looking for mousy submissive type women, there may be certain unresolved issues with his masculinity that a person would want to handle before getting into a relationship.

I have an Indian Sikh friend, and his Indian Sikh wife (raised in India until the age of 22, mind you) used to pressure him to shave his beard and hair, and when he refused, ultimately cheated on him with a white guy at work. When the divorce was finalized, she left him with certain choice epithets about his turban and beard (I know because she did it in front of a group of friends).

If you ask me, the risk of a relationship with an Indian Sikh/non-Sikh woman (at least in the US, don't know how it is in India these days) is just not worth it.

Of course, with 9-11 and attendant stereotypes, there are many non-Indian women (at least in the US where they confuse Sikhs with fundamentalist Muslims) who would balk at going out with a Sikh guy, but that is not universal.

The only sad thing about this whole thing is that they just don't make Indian women like my mom any more. Like I said, if they don't want you, why be pathetic enough to want them ?
ImperfectSikh
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Re: Why sikh females prefer non-sikh males?

Post by ImperfectSikh »

Sim101 wrote:Why must only a sikh woman be picked on when sikh men equally marry out of religion? I have seen a number of posts and topics on this forum constantly stating "why sikh women marry out of religion?" Why this sexism? I know many sikh men who have married white, Spanish, hindu, muslim and even black women then why is the sikh women constantly being pointed at? Why do you single her out when sikh men are doing the exact same thing?

It is sad that you all want sikh women to marry only sikh men but here you are already pointing fingers and disrespecting her.

I apologize for another post but I don't see an edit button and had to add this to my previous post.
Non-Indians can be Sikhs, you know ? Horrors, I know quite a few of them.

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