Lost faith and anger :(

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Dr.Kaur
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Lost faith and anger :(

Post by Dr.Kaur »

SSA everyone
I have been suffering from this from a long time, the more I want to suppress this feeling of anger against God, the stronger it becomes.
I pray a lot but even then I fail to achieve the two most important things that I desire. I am always very thankful to God for everything that I have but why can' I have what I most desire and after achieving that, i shall have no more worldly desire.
I just wanted to pass my licensing exam and have a family, but I failed in both. It makes me feel like looser. I am very depressed, super angry. if others can easily have all these why can't I ?
I am thankful that I have a nice husband, nice parents, pets, plants and other that that are important for living, that I do not have to go to bed empty stomach but I really desired my license this year, I failed the exam despite working like a donkey on it. Married for 4yrs and no kids. No treatment works, neither does any prayer.
How do I calm myself and be thankful for what I have and not be mad at God. Why does only that person gets anything , whom God decides to give? Why are others discriminated or given bad luck?
Vikramjit Singh
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Re: Lost faith and anger :(

Post by Vikramjit Singh »

Dear Friend

Dealing with difficult situations and temporary setbacks are all a part of life. These are challenges put in front of us that helps us to become stronger.

The great Sufi saint Rumi even said, " When the heart cries for something which it has lost, the soul rejoices for that which it has gained".

At this particular moment your situation may seem to be going against you. Because of pain it is not always possible to realize that you are really being blessed. Whatever happens in our life is because that is what we need at that particular moment. Our desires often blind us and we fail to realize the bigger picture, which is of love.

If a seeker can travel through the journey of life, riding the wave of love, then failure and success become immaterial. I feel that is the message Guru Gobind Singh Ji is trying to give us in Savaiya.

I am sure you will reach your true destination in life. God does not always give us what we want, but he always gives us what we need. :) Guru Arjun Dev Ji also touches upon this in many stanzas of Sukhmani.

We often think that God is out there to fulfill our desires. In the process we ignore the reality that our journey is already laid out for us. God is there to help us pass through this journey. It is up to us to give up attachment and travel the path in high spirits facing hurdles with royal courage! The destination is what is really in our hands. The transient nature of life is basically an illusion and it is maya in its bewitching ways which makes us falter.

Enjoy the journey of your life!

Best
Vikram
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Re: Lost faith and anger :(

Post by suji singh »

"Tera bhana meetha lage." Enjoy each day of your life.
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AS Khalsa
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Re: Lost faith and anger :(

Post by AS Khalsa »

Je Sukh De ta tujhe araadhay
Dukh vee tujhe dheyahi
Je Bhukh de taan it hi raaja
Dukh vich sukh Manayi


All I can say is God doesn't exist to facilitate our wants Bhainji. He didn't fail you. Then again, I've never been in your situation so I have no right to judge your experiences, or you for that matter. I have no understanding of what it feels to be in your shoes, to have had your hopes of a job and a family dashed. But praying to God won't accomplish anything. We must do what we can with the hand we've been dealt. If treatment doesn't work, please, please, please adopt. I worked in an orphanage for a time. Just like you, the kids there longed for a family. But for many of them, it never came. Nobody seems to want to adopt anymore. There's this stigma attached to the whole thing, that the adopted will never truly feel like your child. Biology doesn't make family, love does. There are kids out there that long for a loving family. So do you Bhainji.
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Re: Lost faith and anger :(

Post by Bundha »

Bhenji it is sometimes heart breaking when we desire something so much that it hurts, but we do not get it. We are sent to this world for a specific reason but we are also given a human body and all the hopes and aspirations that go along with it, so it is particularly disheartening when we see others obtain easily what we so desire.

We are all dealt a hand due to our past actions, due to this some are born into prosperous families and want for nothing; others are born into poor families where they suffer years of abuse and neglect. Others are born into rich families but find no peace and solace all their lives while others are born into low impoverished families but thrive and prosper and become successful and find happiness. It is all Karam. We reap what we have sown. We maybe pious and do lots of sewa now and wonder why nothing is going right for us but what we fail to realize is what bad karm we have committed in past lives.

Sometimes God does not grant our wishes because He can see that by granting you this wish will lead to great hardship or pain in the future, but we do not listen and nag and nag and nag. When God does relent and we suffer because if it we then blame God again for our suffering. It is a very hard thing to do but to live within His bhanna is what makes Him the most happiest.

Having said that someone has said that ‘praying to God will not accomplish anything’, I would strongly disagree, praying to God is our one true communication with Him, and He listens, but it is up to Him whether He acts upon it or not.

Nothing works before God but total humility , let go of the anger, let go of any pent up rage and pray to Him, but without longing for anything, without anger, without an ulterior motive………………pray because you love Him because this is the only thing that will help you in this life and the one after.
Guru Nanak Dev Ji Guru Gobind Singh Ji Guru Granth Sahib Ji Dasam Granth Sahib Ji.
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AS Khalsa
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Re: Lost faith and anger :(

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People have a vendetta against effectiveness and action. That is why we embrace things like prayer. Let God do it for us.

If someone is applying for a job versus three other candidates there is a one in four chance that they will get the job. If this person prays to god to ensure the job is in the bag that still has no bearing on the likelihood of their being chosen. If they get the job it is purely down to their credentials or luck. God has nothing to do with it. If you can provide me with a demonstrable example of the power of prayer, perhaps I'll be more inclined to believe you.

If we study prayer we can see, with certainty, that it fails. It fails to perform any better than chance. Why is it that prayers are only answered for things like getting a job, or an illness such as cancer goes away? These things aren't miraculous, there is nothing miraculous about these. Each one of these have been known to occur by themselves. Perhaps you got a job because of your credentials? Or perhaps the cancer receded because that is known to occur in nature? Probability and chance. Not prayer. No evidence.

Why does all powerful God not fulfil prayers which would conclusively point to divine intervention? For example, why doesn't God heal amputees? Why doesn't he prevent the rape of a woman? Why does omnipotent God decide to intervene with, when you come to think of it, utterly tedious issues such as making sure you pass an exam, rather than prevent the depraved sexual humiliation and degradation of a human being? How does he go about choosing which prayers to answer?

Bundhaji, you said sometimes God does not grant our wishes because it leads to pain and suffering in the future. If a child with terminal cancer is praying as their life ebbs away on a hospital bed, minutes from death, how would God curing them of their cancer in that moment possibly lead to pain and suffering in the future? To kill them would only mean depriving them of their chance at life. If you accept the plausibility of prayer, you cannot accept the premise of a benevolent God. The two simply don't gel.
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Re: Lost faith and anger :(

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If someone is applying for a job versus three other candidates there is a one in four chance that they will get the job. If this person prays to god to ensure the job is in the bag that still has no bearing on the likelihood of their being chosen. If they get the job it is purely down to their credentials or luck. God has nothing to do with it. If you can provide me with a demonstrable example of the power of prayer, perhaps I'll be more inclined to believe you.
Do you believe in God?
If not then this discussion seems meaningless.
If yes, If you can provide me with a demonstrable example of the power of God, perhaps I'll be more inclined to believe you.

If we study prayer we can see, with certainty, that it fails. It fails to perform any better than chance. Why is it that prayers are only answered for things like getting a job, or an illness such as cancer goes away? These things aren't miraculous, there is nothing miraculous about these. Each one of these have been known to occur by themselves. Perhaps you got a job because of your credentials? Or perhaps the cancer receded because that is known to occur in nature? Probability and chance. Not prayer. No evidence.
Same can be said about God, no evidence, but it’s not about evidence is it?
Why does all powerful God not fulfil prayers which would conclusively point to divine intervention? For example, why doesn't God heal amputees? Why doesn't he prevent the rape of a woman? Why does omnipotent God decide to intervene with, when you come to think of it, utterly tedious issues such as making sure you pass an exam, rather than prevent the depraved sexual humiliation and degradation of a human being? How does he go about choosing which prayers to answer?
Why would God provide conclusive evidence to you? Who are you? Who am I? Does God need us? No. Do we need Him? Yes.
These are the same questions you get from any Tom, Dick and Harry on a street corner. You are responsible for your own actions, you reap what you sow. Sorrow comes because we have moved away from God and we create karam that we then have to work through. We deny him yet He still provides, we question His very existence but still be keeps us safe, but time comes when we are so dumb that love is like poison to us and we need to be taught the tough way. Then we wail and howl, Oh why does God do this to us? Why so much suffering? Why the amputee? Why the pain? Yet we are the causes of our own suffering. But again, by prayer you fall at your Gurus feet for mercy and He is so Dhaywaan that no matter what you have done He will forgive you, but you need to take that first step, you need to be sincere in your thoughts. But above all this is the concept of Gurparsadh. God’s grace. He can overrule everything, He can make the fraudulent gambler a saint, and He can make the most pious person an egotistical monster.
Bundhaji, you said sometimes God does not grant our wishes because it leads to pain and suffering in the future. If a child with terminal cancer is praying as their life ebbs away on a hospital bed, minutes from death, how would God curing them of their cancer in that moment possibly lead to pain and suffering in the future? To kill them would only mean depriving them of their chance at life. If you accept the plausibility of prayer, you cannot accept the premise of a benevolent God. The two simply don't gel.
Maybe that child only had to suffer that amount of pain and his karamic account would be cleared. Maybe by working through his suffering the child would now be liberated and his soul would move on to a higher plain. By curing him of cancer he then spends the next 60 years on this earth gambling and hating and gossiping and defrauding people and so again increasing his karam, so now he has to come back yet again. You see we only see one piece of a giant jigsaw and with our ego we think we know it all, only God sees the whole picture. Guru Nanak Dev Ji says time and again there is no end to God and His glory but time and again we question God.
. If you accept the plausibility of prayer, you cannot accept the premise of a benevolent God. The two simply don't gel
The two go hand in hand. We are the perpetrators, we commit sin, we commit karam that lead us away from God. If we carry on then we suffer, not because God wants us to suffer but because we caused our own suffering, God is stood with open arms waiting for us to take hold of Him, but we deny Him. We need to take that first step towards Him that is the deal.
Guru Nanak Dev Ji Guru Gobind Singh Ji Guru Granth Sahib Ji Dasam Granth Sahib Ji.
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AS Khalsa
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Re: Lost faith and anger :(

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I don't believe in God. Its entirely due to the lack of evidence and the incongruity of religious dogma. When I ask 'Why would God do this or that?' or I speak as though God exists simply for the sake of convenience and for the sake of argument.

You think God doesn't need us? I mean sure, speaking hypothetically, should God exist then we aren't vital to his existence. But if you ask me, a God which demands worship and recitation of his name or else he'll condemn you to rebirth upon rebirth sounds pretty needy. Almost like one big attention seeking egomaniac. Please tell me why exactly we NEED God?

I think we, as human beings, are perfectly entitled to evidence, or a sign from God, should he exist. If God is loving and understanding, as you believe, then surely he can understand that there are rational beings in the world who are reluctant to devote their lives to religion and to God if there is no concrete proof that there is even a God or that their investment will be worth it.
Its one big gamble. The BIGGEST gamble. I mean if someone came up to you and asked you to invest all your money in a business venture without telling you what that venture entailed, I am sure you would have reservations, and understandably so. Just in the same way, if someone comes along and tells me to devote my life to the worship of God without providing me with any evidence that my efforts will bear fruit, I'll tell them to get lost. If your God exists, will he really condemn me to rebirth because I am using the brain which he gave me? Isn't he responsible for everything?

It is all about evidence. That which can be asserted without evidence, such as the existence of a God, can also be dismissed without evidence. But please, I am not here to debate the evidence for God. It cannot be conclusively proven that God doesn't exist. But I can't extend the same courtesy to prayer or Gurprasadh.

Gurprasadh can make a fradulent gambler a saint? Who are you to say Gurprasad alone causes such radical transitions in human behaviour? I know irreligious people who have undergone similar changes. There may be another factor at work. Attributing everything good that happens to grace is to demean the intelligence and morality of humanity, de-elevate us to the status of husks. More to the point, who exactly are you to be able to identify Gurprasad? You know when I converted to Sikhism I attributed my newfound 'faith' to Gurprasadh. And here I am today. An agnostic veering towards atheism. So much for Gurprasadh. I can't identify it, you can't identify it, nobody can.

If God is responsible for making pious people into egotistical monsters, then why does he condemn them to be reborn? If what you say is true, these people have done nothing, they were vessels for his design. It was not they that made themselves bad, but God. So why does your loving God punish them. That makes no sense, no sense at all.

I don't think you can say with certainty that should the child in the example survive cancer that he will live a life of depravity. Surely the all-loving God should at least give him a chance?
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Re: Lost faith and anger :(

Post by Bundha »

Why do we need God ? Here is a quick crude analogy.

A small fish lived in the deep sea, “where is this water you all keep talking about” she said “I don’t see it, I don’t feel it, show me the proof?” The older wiser fish said that the water was all around, that you cannot live without it, you cannot breath without it, it is our life. But the little fish would not listen, “I do not believe in this life giving water”. Sure enough one day the little fish became caught in a net and was hauled up on to a fishing boat. As it wriggled and writhed in agony on the deck gasping for water it realised its folly.


It is curious that you do not believe in God so obviously are not a Sikh, yet you call yourself AS Khalsa and your avatar is of Guru Amar Das Ji.

Why should God prove Himself to you? Did Bhagat Kabir Ji ask for proof? Did Bhagat Naamdev Ji demand proof? Did Bhagat Ravidas Ji want proof of God? No. They put in the time and effort first. They turned night into day and day into night by simran, by meditating on His name and God revealed Himself to them in all His glory. So why should God give you proof? Put in the time and effort, get up at amritwella do 10 Japji Sahib paaths every day for six months, then tell me there is no God. You have to make the effort, you have to take the first step, you cannot sit on your backside and demand God gives you proof.

Do you believe that electons whizz around a nucleus? Have you seen an electron? Yet you believe people who tell you that there are things called electrons. You have no evidence, only words in books written by men, yet you choose to believe them. You do not question their evidence you do not demand that you want to see an electron. So, when the Gurus tell you there is a God why do you not believe them? Guru Granth Sahib Ji on each 1430 angs praises God, Bhagat Kabir Ji, Bhagat Namdev Ji Bhagat Ravidas Ji all say there is a God yet you do not believe them.
If God is loving and understanding, as you believe, then surely he can understand that there are rational beings in the world who are reluctant to devote their lives to religion and to God if there is no concrete proof that there is even a God or that their investment will be worth it.
He created each one of us so He understands who we are and what we are, He understands our hopes and fears and aspirations, He is within all of us, He knows everything we do , He is “Ghat gaht kay pat pat ke jaanay” but He is under no obligation to prove His existence to us. If you do not believe in Him then so be it, then carry on in the circle of life and death. As for being an egomaniac, no He is not He just wants our love like a father loves his children. Your biological father does everything for you, provides for you, cares for you, feeds you, clothes you and loves you unconditionally then how would he feels if you totally ignored him or denied his existence?
It is all about evidence

No, it is all about faith.
You know when I converted to Sikhism I attributed my newfound 'faith' to Gurprasadh. And here I am today. An agnostic veering towards atheism. So much for Gurprasadh. I can't identify it, you can't identify it, nobody can.
Don’t blame God , if God did kirpa upon you and you have veered off the path that is your fault not God’s. You were given a golden opportunity by God but you squandered it , that is your fault not God’s.

Just read whole astpadhi in Sukhmani Sahib Ji about Gurparsadh and you will understand its power.

Even if the child does not become depraved but even if he creates on karam he has to come back, so God gives him a chance if he misuses it then that is his fault not God’s.
Guru Nanak Dev Ji Guru Gobind Singh Ji Guru Granth Sahib Ji Dasam Granth Sahib Ji.
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Dr.Kaur
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Re: Lost faith and anger :(

Post by Dr.Kaur »

Dear AS Khalsa
I and my husband do want to adopt but my family is totally against it. There was lots of yelling, finger pointing and blame game when we tried to bring up the topic. And then the topic that get that surgery done, do that done etc. Then came the blaming that we do not pray hard enough, that made me really angry.
Even my friends at work , my own age were so against it and said you don't know what you are getting! Like I am buying a pet or a vegetable. That scared me out too because of foetal alcohol spectrum disorder, mental disorders that run in families and most importantly attachment issues that older kids have. For a new born wait period is 2-3years, I am willing to do that but I know my and my husband,s family and I do not want my kid to get his feelings hurt at their hands.
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