Going to Gurdwara when Pregnant & Unmarried

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Going to Gurdwara when Pregnant & Unmarried

Postby OCTN2016 » Sat Jan 11, 2020 8:02 pm

I'm from a non-Sikh background but have always had an interest in Sikhism. The town I grew up in didn't have any Sikhs or gurdwaras nearby, but when I went to college a nearby town did so I started going. I really loved it and felt a sense of connection and peace from going every Sunday. The community was also very welcoming. I got invited to cultural events outside the gurdwara after the meal and some of the ladies even gave me salwar suits to wear when they noticed I was a "regular" because that was more comfortable to sit in for long periods.
Well just when I was really starting to integrate and learn, I got off track and quit going because I got caught up with a not as great crowd and started doing other things on my weekends. It's been almost 4 years now and I keep getting this nagging feeling/desire to go back. I kept saying away for multiple reasons but I told myself that this winter I'd make sure to schedule a weekend off to go down there again.
Well, like I said, I ended up on a not so great path these past 3+ years and am now pregnant. The baby's due several months from now and part of me wants to just play it safe and wait to go until I'm not anymore (I don't have the resources to give this child the life I want for them so I'm already looking into adoption options.)
I was wondering how my situation would be looked at in the Punjabi community? (Basically everyone at this gurdwara is Punjabi, I was often the only non-Indian there besides occasional people who also came out of curiosity.) I'm no expert on the culture but my understanding is that it tends to be more traditional and I'm worried about being seen as "bad," "trashy," or irresponsible if I go visibly pregnant and when asked it turns out I'm unmarried and most likely handling the pregnancy through adoption. I worry about my ability to be integrated/welcomed in like I was last time now that I'm older and have a child on the way.
What advice can you guys offer?
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Re: Going to Gurdwara when Pregnant & Unmarried

Postby singhbj » Mon Jan 13, 2020 6:05 am

Hello Octn

Frankly can't say how Gurdwara sangat will react to your situation so it's probably best not to have any big expectations both positive or negative.

If you are looking for support then will suggest you join a Prenatal Yoga class probably which is run by a qualified Sikh trainer.

She (the trainer) can provide you with both physical & spiritual guidance. Pregnant women in class can be your support group. You can learn n share your experiences with them or even befriend them.

This is more appropriate and practical.
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