How can Sikhi save me from my depression

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How can Sikhi save me from my depression

Postby RSingh123 » Fri Dec 06, 2019 3:24 pm

I am 18 years old and was born into a Sikh family in the UK. I have wanted to seek help for ages but do not want to worry my parents as I have no clue how they would react. I wanted to reach out to this wider community (some of the stuff I am about to say is very extreme and please do not report me as I genuinely need help). It all started a couple years back due to general self loathe and suicidal thoughts. It escalated with my recreational drug use, the only reason I chose this path was to escape the reality I have to face. To this day I have smoked weed, taken xanax, mdma, LSD, Magic Mushrooms and Lean. I am also a porn addict (post ejaculation gives you a dopamine high and I think the only reason I go back to it is my need to escape reality). I felt due to these actions there was no way Waheguru would ever look after me and I am basically a wasted soul who is going to spiral into deeper depression with no higher being giving me any sympathy. I really want to escape this bad path I have tried many times. I have gone to various sikh camps in an attempt to attach my self to Sikhi but I just can’t get myself to do it. Waheguru simran and everything else gets so boring it’s gotten to the stage where I don’t even pray anymore. I doubt anyone on this site has had a similar journey to me but if anyone has any advice on how I could possibly get back into Sikhi and escape this bad path I am currently on I would appreciate it so much. I also appreciate anyone that took the time out to read this. Thank you.
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Re: How can Sikhi save me from my depression

Postby loveforsikhi » Sun Dec 08, 2019 2:49 am

RSingh123 wrote:I am 18 years old and was born into a Sikh family in the UK. I have wanted to seek help for ages but do not want to worry my parents as I have no clue how they would react. I wanted to reach out to this wider community (some of the stuff I am about to say is very extreme and please do not report me as I genuinely need help). It all started a couple years back due to general self loathe and suicidal thoughts. It escalated with my recreational drug use, the only reason I chose this path was to escape the reality I have to face. To this day I have smoked weed, taken xanax, mdma, LSD, Magic Mushrooms and Lean. I am also a porn addict (post ejaculation gives you a dopamine high and I think the only reason I go back to it is my need to escape reality). I felt due to these actions there was no way Waheguru would ever look after me and I am basically a wasted soul who is going to spiral into deeper depression with no higher being giving me any sympathy. I really want to escape this bad path I have tried many times. I have gone to various sikh camps in an attempt to attach my self to Sikhi but I just can’t get myself to do it. Waheguru simran and everything else gets so boring it’s gotten to the stage where I don’t even pray anymore. I doubt anyone on this site has had a similar journey to me but if anyone has any advice on how I could possibly get back into Sikhi and escape this bad path I am currently on I would appreciate it so much. I also appreciate anyone that took the time out to read this. Thank you.

Hi,
I firstly want to say thanks for sharing that, it must have been so hard to reach out like this. There is nothing unforgivable. I know it feels like you aren’t going to get out of this feeling, but you are and can. Firstly, have you ever considered counselling? In my experience, the types of emotional and psychological pain that lead to drug use can benefit from meeting with a counsellor and learning some tools to cope with the pain, as well as to discover the root and to help deal with it. Often times in our community, it is just culturally that we stay quiet and aren’t comfortable sharing outside our homes, but psychologists are trained in that field specifically. I am also aware of https://www.sikhhelpline.com Other things that are important for depression: exercise, getting bloodwork done to make sure there isn’t a medical cause (low iron, low b12, thyroid problems, low vitamin D) making things worse. Its worth checking in with a doctor to get those checked out, you don’t need to start on medications if you don’t want to but some people do find those give their brain chemicals a balance that they didn’t previously have. Truly importantly is the impact of Gurbani. If you have trouble with Waheguru simran, try in a group or with others, or a tape, if you have trouble with that try a different line of Gurbani or mantra that helps you to focus on the One. Journaling helps a lot too. You don’t have to answer, but you are 18 so perhaps think about what to do with the majority of time if you aren’t in school, then about where to work or volunteer because that will help to spend some of the energy into “kirat karni”- which is another pillar of Sikhi, but you may already be doing this. I would suggest ask Guru Ji your ultimate question and surrender and let go of all of these preconceived ideas of who you are, and take a hukamnama. You can take one here: https://www.sikhnet.com/hukam/personal I do this a lot when I’m upset and find the words to be very comforting. I got advice long ago to read 1 page of the Guru Granth Sahib Ji daily, it was excellent advice and I will pass that on, I saw it on the youth forum. It teaches us to learn from Gurbani, and delivers us messages of love and gives us strength. Helpful websites to get into Sikhi if you haven’t found camps helpful are basics of Sikhi youtube channel, and nanak naam. Look into Gurbani healing as well…. https://www.sikhnet.com/hukam/personal The healing that Gurbani does is amazing. If you have trouble listening to Gurbani, listen to different styles of kirtan, if that’s hard, try doing it in Sangat if you have a local Gurdwara. The idea is to get the mind in a different state than it is now. It is giving you a lot of thoughts that are spiralling you down. You need to start seeing some good and value in yourself. If you need to, go to rehab regarding drug addictions. One thing I have learned is that there is only One. Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji starts with Ik Onkaar. That means that there is only One pervading everywhere, in formless and formed forms, therefore you and I do not exist, only God exists. Therefore you cant be a wasted soul. The higher being is already inside you keeping your body alive. Your mind has tricked you into thinking there is a barrier, doubting that you can get there. Gurbani and Sikh history tells us even murderers were forgiven. Stop the self-judgment and start focusing on small steps. I have given you a lot to work on only because some things work for some people at certain times, others work at other times. You aren’t alone in struggling with this problem, a lot of people have the same going on. Gurbani says “immense pain, murders, and sins numerous, poverty and misery since birth, troubles and disputes of major girth, nanak All that is destroyed by Divine Name contemplation, and burns like a pile of wood by fire’s action.”
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