Sadasat Simran Singh Khalsa is a member of Chardikala Jatha, and he is a Hazoori Raagi at Sri Harimandir Sahib in Amritsar. His Kirtan Jetha has played Kirtan and spoken in many Gurdwaras around the world. They have also been the main feature of Camp Miri Piri which originated in Singapore.
This video was filmed to help bring attention to the 2015 Camp Miri Piri in Espanola, New Mexico. June 13-17. You can be with him and many other great teachers there.
The first thing is to let our kids go. Yogiji said that these are not our kids. These are Guru's kids. We just gave birth to them. Having a sense of ownership of our kids is ego. A true Gursikh knows that a soul comes to the home of a Gursikh to be with the Guru. That soul chose the mother and father for the sake of being closer to the Guru. The only way to help facilitate that child to get closer to the Guru is to let him/her go. They say, "once you love something, let it go, then your love can be eternal and unconditional".
We put so much condition on to our kids. "I love you... you better be good". We define good and bad, and we confine out kids to these definitions. The Guru says, "Ham nahi changey bura nahi koi" (I am not good, and no one is bad). But do we don't live by these words? Living by them means not labeling a child as good or bad, and not restricting them to good or bad. This is because good and bad is only a thought. It's a measurement of our own mental construct. The way out of the trap of good and bad is to live through the heart. Live through the heart and give your head to the Guru. This way we won't confine our children.
We have to lead by example. So not only should we not label our kids, we shouldn't label anyone else, so they don't learn how to label. "He's an Amritdhari" "He's not an Amritdhari" "He's just a Gursikh" "He's a Sahejdhari". These are social constructs of an accomplishment that are based an evolutionary and linear process. This process does not apply, because the Guru doesn't follow this process. The Guru decides what is good, and what is high and low. If you allow your child to have a universal relationship with all beings on this planet, then they truly can be a child of the Guru.
Guilt is the most damaging disease you can put on your child. To say "Tu Sharam Karla (Have some shame)" "Tu sharam nahi ondi? (Don’t you have any shame?) "Tu aivi idar udar phir da (You are just going here and there - uselessly). Are we trying to teach them shame and how to feel guilt? If we do that, then the child can't have an open relationship with the Guru. Because their relationship with the Guru is going to be based on guilt because of a standard that we created. The Guru did not create it.
We create standards that the child is supposed to believe, and the Guru is not responsible for it, we are. And if the child comes across any limitation of not reaching that standard it's our fault. So let's not put this limit on our children. They are going to make mistakes just like we adults do, especially us parents.
No one is perfect. No one is pure except the Shabad Guru. The reason it's the only pure thing, is because it's the purifier. It is what cleanses the mind on the meditation of it. It is what elevates the environment in a room. That's the Shabad Guru. Don't measure anything else. Everything else is just mental constructs. Everything else is human weakness that imposes itself on a situation.
Allow your kids to be infinite, and allow them to have a relationship with the Guru.
Lead by example. If you want your kids to get up in the Amritvela then you better get up. If you want your kids to do Paath, you better do Paath. If you want them to have a healthy happy lifestyle, then you better have it yourself. Some major causes of death for Punjabi Sikhs is heart disease and diabetes. Those 2 things are not signs of a healthy culture. If you want to improve on that, you need to eat right and exercise. One of the best ways to do that on a regular basis is yoga. One of the best ways to alleviate stress is meditation. If you want to achieve these things, then do what the yogis did. Guru Gobind Singh ji himself says, "Alap ahar sulap see nindra daya chhima tan preet (eat light and sleep light and you can always maintain that meditative relationship with God)".
We have our plans, and then there is God's plans. If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans. We don't know what's in store. If we accept Guru's will then where is there room for guilt? Where is there a place for judgement? "Tud khud baaman suf shud" It doesn't mean that we have the right to judge our children. It means that when you die your subtle body will judge your past karam to decide where your next place is. It doesn't mean that you have the right to put judgement on your children what-so-ever. You are just a custodian of the Guru's child. And if you accept that, then you will be raising beautiful Gursikhs, Amritdharis, and Khalsas of tomorrow.