A Personal Pilgrimage
"Even before Baisakhi, on April 13th, 1999, Anandpur Sahib was already fairly crowded, so some of us went to Keshgarh Sahib early in the morning. My goal was to meditate there within the gurdwara. We bowed before the Guru and then went around to the back where you could see Guru Gobind Singhs weapons. The original khanda used during the first Baisakhi is there as well as some of his other weapons, each of which has a rich history. When I saw these historical weapons, I started to cry and could not stop. My friend, Sat Hari Kaur later teased me. She said I was having "an emotional moment."
It was already somewhat crowded at Keshgarh Sahib, even at 4:30 a.m. The entire floor was crowded with people filling every possible space, but there was one spot along a wall in the back without a single person sitting there. So I went and sat there. Tears were still streaming down my face. Sat Hari Kaur was interested in finding some prasad, so she went off in search of some. I just wanted to stay there and meditate. As I meditated on the weapons, I experienced an exquisite pain, a pain that I can only describe as a feeling that I have been deprived from being here, at this very place all my life, this feeling of being separated from my Guru enveloped me. When I closed my eyes I could feel the richness of the place, the weapons, the history, all of this was pervaded by the majesty of Guru Gobind Singh.
As my tears continued to flow, it occurred to me that reading Jaap Sahib would be most fitting. So I started to read Jaap Sahib from my tiny nitnem. As soon as I began, the tears stopped and it felt like I was surrounded by this strong radiant aura of Guru Gobind Singh. Then all of a sudden I realized there was a 2-3 square foot of space around me. It was as if the Guru were present and showering me with his intense radiance through the naad of Jaap Sahib.
When my friend Sat Hari returned, she said that people were looking at me as if I was a saint -- certainly they were feeling the noble presence of Guru Gobind Singh. Since it was now later in the morning it took much longer for us to exit. It was such a blessing to see and be with so many gursikhs bowing before the Guru and to see they too had such a sweet longing to belong! This day, and this experience, were a very special time and a wonderful reconnecting for me. By the grace of God and Guru I am grateful."
Wahe Guru Ji Ka Khalsa, Wahe Guru Ji Ki Fateh!
Hargopal Kaur Khalsa