A question for NRI families

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A question for NRI families

Postby Arshdeep9519 » Sun Jun 24, 2018 1:30 pm

Hello everyone,

My name is Arshdeep. Both my parents are indian and I also consider myself one even though I left the country when I was a child.
I sometimes feel suffocated, as if I am in some kind of jail I have created for myself. My parents are super proud of me because I am perfect in every possible way according to them. I am forcing myself to live the life they want me to live because if I don't do that, it will hurt them. If I try to be free, they will instantly call me a spoiled brat.

I am not trying to be free to kill anyone, I am just trying to breathe here. All my friends are allowed to go to a foreign countries to volunteer. I don't even dare to ask my parents that because they most likely say no. My friends are allowed to travel to other countries during summer holiday and I always have to be accompanied by someone, preferable a man from the family. What so many restrictions? Why do I have to ask permission (and sometimes I don't even do that because I know they will say no) for everything? Why aren't I allowed to enjoy my life to the fullest. It's not like I am going against our religion or anything. Aren't women equal to men in sikhism? It doesn't seem to be the case in my family. Women cook, do the dishes, clean the house, and of course, if my fathers gets mad, since I am a nice child, I must listen to him no matter what.

And my brother, he is younger than me and I am already feeling he has more freedom. At leats he can say whatever he feels without anyone tagging him as a spoiled child.

And now marriage. I am just freaking 22. They want me to leave one jail and enter another. Like really, what would I marry a person I don't even know. Just because he is filthy rich, that apparently already makes him suitable. Thank god my parents did listen to me this time.

Parents in india are not as traditional as NRI parents. NRI parents live in the 20th century. They consider children as some kind of property that must follow the path they have set. What about my own happiness?

If you belong to an NRI family + you did not grow up in india, I have a few questions:
1. Have you noticed liberty restriction in your family? Or have you been in a similar situation?
2. Do you think your family is more conservative than a non- NRI family?
3. How common do you think is my situation?
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Re: A question for NRI families

Postby dalipsingh5 » Thu Jul 05, 2018 6:06 am

SSA bhenji,
I'm from the UK so I can answer two of your questions..
1. I think it is worse for females for obvious reasons, as I only had brothers I cannot fully answer this for you.
2. Yes, first generation NRI families have ideas frozen in time from when they left India. They can't move on with those in India so are a bit backward. You cannot change this, they have to change by modernizing somehow. They should integrate with the culture they are in.
3. Not sure about this one but I think its most families. They don't try to integrate because they don't have good english.

DS
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