Marrying a Hindu punjabi boy is crime for sikh girl??

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Marrying a Hindu punjabi boy is crime for sikh girl??

Postby Punjaban » Sat May 15, 2010 8:21 am

Hi,
I am in Love with punjabi hindu boy of same caste(not religion). But my parents do not agree for our marriage.And we both don't want to start our new life without the aashirwad of our parents.
Everything is fine in him.We both are financly settled.My parents say u can bring any sikh boy of any caste they will be ready for that but not for hindu guy. My BF is ready to convert into sikh . But still my family disagree. they said his coplete family is hindu..i can't ask his family to convert it into sikhism.

I can't leave him.I have given my life to him.
I can't live without him.

Please suggest what should i do.
I am mentally stressed and due to this my health is affected.

I am fat girl so it was not that easy to find a suitable match for me.My parents had tried. They only permitted to find a sikh match for myself but i fall in love with hindu oy..Who cares alot..He is taking care as i see my father taking care of my mom..each and every time my confidence builds strong for him and he would be the best husband for me.
He knows all my feeings. He can easily guess my thinking at any point of time.
He is family oriented person.
I gurantee that he would be the best son in law for my parents. And if my parents give a serious thought for him and meet him once they cannot say NO fo him..But they are not ready to meet him..He tried calling them meeting them but my parents didn't talk didn't meet him..

Please advice...

M praying to Wahegure to help me out....
We will visit evey gurudware after our marriage....
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Re: Marrying a Hindu punjabi boy is crime for sikh girl??

Postby Romesh Kumar » Sat May 15, 2010 11:19 am

punjaban,
Half of my own relatives are sabat-surat sikhs.
You are in love.
You are adult.
Both of you are financially settled.
Boy is family oriented.
Boy is ready to convert to sikhism.

There was no need for you to knock at the door of discussion forum in sikhnet.

In our culture and customs a girl leaves the house of her parents and goes with her husband.
Please go ahead and leave the house of your parents. Sorry, but they do not seem to be your well-wishers.

I wish you all the best.
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Re: Marrying a Hindu punjabi boy is crime for sikh girl??

Postby sajjansingh » Sat May 15, 2010 4:10 pm

I can't leave him.I have given my life to him.
I can't live without him.


This is your life so final decision is yours. I can share my opinion with you. Even if you marry someone else you will not do justice to your relationship. You will end up ruining your life and as well as your future Sikh husband. Please do yourself a favor and marry him. Also Sikhism is not an Islam so do not get into converting your boyfriends for the sake of marriage. Sikhism is Dharma and if someone is ready to perform his spiritual duty then he should adopt this path...
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Re: Marrying a Hindu punjabi boy is crime for sikh girl??

Postby Punjaban » Mon May 17, 2010 12:39 am

Thanks for ur replies..
but it is not that easy to leave my parents in pain as well ..m deciding not to marry my bf for the sake of my parents but have asked my parents to don't force me to marry someone else..m independent and can survive...i know i can't live without him so only i have asked 6 months form my parents...
i want that they should agree..
let me wait n watch ...
Is there not any way to convience them..i tried all the emotional dramas but failed...even they r playing the same on me..they have only one concern that how they will face soiety or our relatives..i keep on teling them that even the society had accepted this..for 1-2 months relative will talk..when they will feel that yes i have found a dimond they will automaically agree upon this...but my parents are not ready to listen...
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Re: Marrying a Hindu punjabi boy is crime for sikh girl??

Postby ImperfectSikh » Wed Jun 23, 2010 9:28 am

Sat Sri Akaal sister,

First, you need to leave caste out of this.

Second, I don't think your family is being very rational. This man is ready to become a Sikh. What more can they expect ?

Follow your heart and pray. I hope that the situation will soon resolve itself.
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Re: Marrying a Hindu punjabi boy is crime for sikh girl??

Postby sikh_ms » Fri Aug 13, 2010 4:11 pm

Sat Sri Akaal

As said earlier, you should not talk of caste. Mentioning it shows you are also not a good practising sikh.

I can't comment upon you definition of love. Your age usually it is infatuation and love I think is usually mistaken kind of aspect in our daily life, This attraction remains until two people don't marry. What happens thereafter everyone knows.

Getting sikkhi from birth needs constant training from parents and is an investment for the community. However, parents these days for the reasons widely known, have failed to do there keep this investment up to the mark. There are many defaults at the time of maturity of this investment.

Sikhs then have not given monitored and education based freedom to there daughters, I mean they can't talk to any one including sikhs. When time comes, they then are attracted towards others and hence such situations arise.
Like I had given freedom to my daughter to talk to any person of any community but I would expect sikh as my son-in-law but educated one of her choice. This was put in her mind from the time she attained teenage. Fortunately, she got an handsome boy, educated boy of her choice and by the grace of God she is well settled. She is as good a sikh as most of the girls of today's time are. I still try to tell her about Guru Granth philosophy and pride of being part of sikh society.

Now the person you wish to marry/ or I would say you are infatuated towards each other, is ready to adopt sikhism, then
physically your parents would be able to have face saving from there Jhooty society, but adoption would mean that boy and you both will constantly study the high values of sikhism and pass it onto your next generation. Simply keeping hairs/ going to Gurudwaras and listening to our illiterate so-called preacher( excuse me ) is not suffice. But honestly chances are good enough that he would not be able to meet them.

Also what happens if shaves his hairs after wards, once infatuation period is over.


Decision is yours.

Good luck
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Re: Marrying a Hindu punjabi boy is crime for sikh girl??

Postby virgreat » Wed Aug 18, 2010 7:27 am

To Sikh_ms,
Then how did you allow ur daughter to marry anon sikh.& please dont sy todays sikh girls are good ,I have seen 80% girls who are given freedom to work & study away from home getting married to non sikhs all teh time.
Its unfortunate
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Re: Marrying a Hindu punjabi boy is crime for sikh girl??

Postby sikh_ms » Tue Aug 24, 2010 3:50 am

To Virgreat

My daughter married to a handsome sikh boy in Sabut Surat.
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Re: Marrying a Hindu punjabi boy is crime for sikh girl??

Postby Guest » Sun Mar 13, 2011 10:59 am

Hello,
No it is not crime.But considering your statements it seems it more of immature emotional attachment rather then a matured one. No you can go ahead and marry even against the wishes of your family as many sikh girls are doing.But question is bothering me since many days.I was just surfing net on one of the web sites which reported that in North America and England alone more then 1500 sikh girls have married out of religion and figure in India may be sky rocketing!!!! An absolutely shocking revelation considering the fact the children these girls will produce will non sikhs be it Hindu,Muslim but certainely not a Keshdhari sikh just as same as you. Now if out of 10 girls 9 fall in so called love that is more powerful before the marriage and wanes after few months of marriage what will happen to the future of sikh religion?? Will we be confined to mere photographs??.Think about it and let us know your thoughts. So sorry about the tough words...but the REALITY BITES. sometimes so much.Thanks.

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Re: Marrying a Hindu punjabi boy is crime for sikh girl??

Postby Punjaban » Mon Dec 12, 2011 4:33 pm

Hi All,

Thanks all for your comments and suggestions.
It was really appreciative that you guys really helped me to think in all ways.

No I am married to my love and is completing 1 year of my marriage.

I don't know how but my parents them self called me and asked about that boy. they went to meet up his parents and liked his family. they agreed for my marriage. that time i was on my work assignment. my parents fixed the date and arranged everything. i arrived for my marriage and surprised to see my parents happy for my marriage. they accepts him and his family.

My boyfriend or i called as my husband, he worn turban on marriage and we had anand karj. a sikh marriage. no one feelings were heart. and later came to know that they belong the the subcaste to which my motherside family belong. now being they r hindu and we sikh..we both have adapted both religons. my in laws they stand with me when i do ardaas..they sit with me head covered when i recite path in house..they went with me to gurudawara..my husband goes to gurduwara on every happy moment and sad..above all my parents liked him much more than me..he is not a son in law for them but atheir own son..and i am proud to be one with both happy families...waheguru ju di kripa naal sab acha hoeya hai and i wish for the same..

1 yr went happy and with the waheguru's grace my whole life will be good .....
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