Helllo,
I have been raised in a Sikh family (not baptized), and have always been taught to believe in the will of God and hard work, I really do believe this, but as of late i get this strange feeling or vibe from my sister in law ( almost like black magic or something) she recently moved into our house ( for a little over a year) and I just feel that my anxiety and depression has just spiraled in that time and she seems to give negative vibes and I feel a lot insincerity and back handed comments coming from her and this in turn really effects me ( not sure if that makes sense.)I also have been really paranoid about my health and google random symptoms and convince myself I have various diseases which in turn makes me even more anxious. Im only 27 and have just finished my schooling and I should be looking for work instead I just sit at home worrying and worrying and I know I am in turn hurting my parents. I have lost quite a bit of weight, my iron is really low, and I recently found out I have fibroids which is scaring me even more. On top of all of this I have always been conscious about the way i look ( i know vanity is very contradicting to Sikhi teachings) in this last year I have developed really bad acne and my face has sunken in, and my family tells me to find someone to marry and this stresses me out even more because I feel like who would want to marry someone who looks the way I do. I know my priorities are out of wack can someone please give me some advice, I don't know where to start, if i go to the Gurdwara I don't really understand the Kirtan, and when I find english translations i don't feel im in that proper meditative state to truly feel the words of Guruji. I apologize I know my post is a bit scattered, I am just so lost right now. I have always put my faith in God and the rational part of me knows this black magic stuff is nonsense as no force is greater than God and I feel guilty for thinking so negatively about another person, I just need some words of wisdom here... hope my thoughts make sense.