Love vs Religion

Family, love, marriage, children and the relationship of ourselves to our own soul and to the Guru

Love vs Religion

Postby Guest » Fri Jan 25, 2013 2:27 am

Hi,
I'm a Mixed Male..
Black, Asian, & Hispanic
Raised by a father & mother who taught me if i wanted something in life, if i wanted it bad, i wouldnt give up.
I, am not of Sikh religion, I'm Christian.

And,
I, am in love with a sikh girl, & she loves me back.
we've been through good & bad times, and been together for awhile..
She truly means everything to me..
but her parents just refuse us being together, they havent even given me a chance to prove my intentions towards their daughter are good ones.
My Love Is Pure.
I Just Want Them To Accept Me For Who I Am, & Accept That I Make Her Happy..

Any Advice For My Situation?
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Re: Love vs Religion

Postby Nihal Singh Kanakpuria » Fri Jan 25, 2013 10:42 am

Nincompop,

Why is it Love VS Religion only for the Girl's side ?

If she means everything to you then what's stopping you in adopting a Sikh way of life, which means learning, adopting and following Sikh beliefs, ideals, values and customs.

I know you can do the politically correct thing and say that she can retain her faith and "i accept her as she is etc etc " and our kids will grow up and "follow" both faiths but the truth is simple and straight fwd and cannot be hidden behind political correctness.

In life (outside of the internet) its important to put your weight behind your words, if she is that important then i dont see reason why you would undermine anything that's so important to her or her family.

-Nihal
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Re: Love vs Religion

Postby Romesh Kumar » Sun Jan 27, 2013 8:11 am

nincompoop wrote:I Just Want Them To Accept Me For Who I Am, & Accept That I Make Her Happy..


I hope you know what is family system. That is one of the Indian socio-cultural systems rated and accepted by rest of the world to be relatively better, more humane and more successful.
In family system HAPPINESS of each and every member is deeply and rigidly interlinked.
In family system if the parents of a girl are not HAPPY with what their daughter is doing or intending to do then that girl will never ever feel happy nor she can make you happy.
So, you can try your luck by formally converting to Sikhism and proving to her parents that you are a devout Sikh. If that does not work then being a true lover you should sacrifice your love for the HAPPINESS of girls parents and that of girl and walk out of their lives.
Best of luck.
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Re: Love vs Religion

Postby erin10467 » Wed Jan 30, 2013 5:15 pm

Just forget about the girl ...
My husband sister fall in love with a guy whom where not Sikh they did everything to keep her away from the guy. Now after 7 years of marriage I discover that my husband is getting married with somebody else.
So as a friendly advice ... Just forget about the girl ...
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Re: Love vs Religion

Postby Romesh Kumar » Sun Feb 03, 2013 1:07 am

erin,
Members have already advised you on what to do in the situation you are passing through.
What I want to chip in is that it is not a Sikh matter.This is known as 'typical Indian/Punjabi mentality'.
Firstly, devout Sikhs do not marry or do not need to marry a western person and secondly if they do then they will not do what you are facing.
So pls handle your case in legal way as both French and Indian laws are in your favor.
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Re: Love vs Religion

Postby Guest » Sat Mar 09, 2013 1:59 am

"If she means everything to you then what's stopping you in adopting a Sikh way of life, which means learning, adopting and following Sikh beliefs, ideals, values and customs"

Seriously? Love is a two-way street and it's about making sacrifices and compromises on both ends. The world does not revolve around Sikhism so please get off your high-horse, Nihal.

Romesh, your "Family System" is somewhat outdated. It's a shame that the "Family" cannot pay attention to what makes their daughter happy and instead choose to focus exclusively on their own happiness. Not even the slightest chance given to knowing another fellow human being. Your idea of an ideal world is by segregating Sikh's from the rest of society. Wake up. This isn't India 1950. The Sikh children of today are mixing with other diverse cultures, communities and traditions and chances are that they may fall for someone outside of their own background. This doesn't mean that they have to abolish they're religious/cultural upbringings.

Try and be a little more open-minded and hear the kids out first before jumping to conclusions.

To the OP: I don't necessarily know enough to tell you not to give up. I do agree to some extent with the other posters in that you should take an active interest in her culture, traditions, language and religion rather than having a mere appreciation. Work hard and show that this relationship means the world to you. You will need to think about your future, too (children and their religious upbringing is a big one). It's important to have a plan. Ultimately, it will come down to her. Conservative parents can only hold a grudge for so long, so if she follows her heart (and assuming you are a genuine person who will treat her with utmost love and care and respect her family) then her parents/family will soon follow.

Best of luck
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Re: Love vs Religion

Postby Nihal Singh Kanakpuria » Sat Mar 09, 2013 12:01 pm

ping wrote:"If she means everything to you then what's stopping you in adopting a Sikh way of life, which means learning, adopting and following Sikh beliefs, ideals, values and customs"

Seriously? Love is a two-way street and it's about making sacrifices and compromises on both ends. The world does not revolve around Sikhism so please get off your high-horse, Nihal.


Its a simple, straight fwd question, i fail to understand which part troubled you ? , was it my question or some baggage that you are carrying.

-Nihal
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