hard to control urge for Physical relation

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hard to control urge for Physical relation

Postby Guest » Fri May 18, 2012 1:28 pm

SSA everyone,

Myself a 22 year old guy from India. Unlike people of my generation I've had a very different childhood and because of which my thinking doesn't match with my peers. I usually keep to myself.I see people all around me flirting, dating and, these days physical relations are considered very much like normal things like eating or watching TV. This is very much a part of our Punjabi culture these days and Indian culture as well, and disagreeing to it won't make it go away. So We accept it the way it is.
My religion teaches me that everything that happens is in the will of God and it's only our perception which makes it good or bad. For some reason my conscience doesn't allow me to go ahead and share a physical intimacy with a girl. I have no hard feelings for my peers who do so, but I see now that I'll be married soon and I it's hard for me to accept my future partners past. My male ego is coming in the way of accepting the reality of things.I feel even if I find a girl whom I am in love with, that I wouldn't trust her completely. There is a part of me which wants me to 'even' things out and go all the way before I settle down; But I know deep down that I'll feel guilt afterwards because I believe one should wait for physical intimation to be between between husband and wife.
I'm afraid to even talking with gals because I know what it may lead to.
I am struck in my mind. This is affecting my mind and health. My mind is running on this issue every day. Could someone please help me with a practical solution to this ? What should I do ?

Thanks for your time everyone.
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Re: hard to control urge for Physical relation

Postby David Singh » Sat May 19, 2012 8:17 am

Someone once said If you ask the right questions, the right decisions will make themselves. Continue to ask the right questions young man, find the right girl, and hopefully she will not have a past. If she does have a past, may your affection for her be strong enough to overlook her faults.
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Re: hard to control urge for Physical relation

Postby QKB » Mon Jun 04, 2012 3:51 pm

If you plan on not trusting your future partner “fully” and also to “even” things out in case she does have a past with someone, you will never have a successful relationship. What if you do get into a physical relationship with someone just in case your future partner has done the same thing and then find someone who hasn’t, how will you “even” things out then? It’s not like you can go back and erase your past. Maybe the goal should be to find someone who is religious minded, concentrated on their studies and their future, someone who is like minded, and make a future with them.

Best of luck to you,
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Re: hard to control urge for Physical relation

Postby 1sikh » Wed Aug 08, 2012 2:19 am

Guest wrote:SSA everyone,

Myself a 22 year old guy from India. Unlike people of my generation I've had a very different childhood and because of which my thinking doesn't match with my peers. I usually keep to myself.I see people all around me flirting, dating and, these days physical relations are considered very much like normal things like eating or watching TV. This is very much a part of our Punjabi culture these days and Indian culture as well, and disagreeing to it won't make it go away. So We accept it the way it is.
My religion teaches me that everything that happens is in the will of God and it's only our perception which makes it good or bad. For some reason my conscience doesn't allow me to go ahead and share a physical intimacy with a girl. I have no hard feelings for my peers who do so, but I see now that I'll be married soon and I it's hard for me to accept my future partners past. My male ego is coming in the way of accepting the reality of things.I feel even if I find a girl whom I am in love with, that I wouldn't trust her completely. There is a part of me which wants me to 'even' things out and go all the way before I settle down; But I know deep down that I'll feel guilt afterwards because I believe one should wait for physical intimation to be between between husband and wife.
I'm afraid to even talking with gals because I know what it may lead to.
I am struck in my mind. This is affecting my mind and health. My mind is running on this issue every day. Could someone please help me with a practical solution to this ? What should I do ?

Thanks for your time everyone.

May god bless you and lead to the right path with right person. I can co-relate your dilemma with myself as I've been through the same situation. Please do not be afraid of talking to girls. This will help you understand and make the right choice in future. You are still young and have time. While you go and talk to them keep that distance, you don't have to get involved. Treat them as if they are your "any other" friend. I am sure you will find so many wonderful friends in the process. Eventually you will find the right person. Make sure you do your ground work. You are in control of your destiny.
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Re: hard to control urge for Physical relation

Postby Xandra » Wed Oct 22, 2014 10:18 am

Aaah, thank you very much. What a lovely message.
Your advice makes a lot of sense. This situation is so unique I have put it down to religion - in that I detect interest but no action from him - but maybe not. Here's hoping that one day there is some action.
Thanks again :)
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Re: hard to control urge for Physical relation

Postby Romesh Kumar » Fri Oct 24, 2014 5:51 am

Guest wrote:SSA everyone,

Myself a 22 year old guy from India. Unlike people of my generation I've had a very different childhood and because of which my thinking doesn't match with my peers. I usually keep to myself.I see people all around me flirting, dating and, these days physical relations are considered very much like normal things like eating or watching TV. This is very much a part of our Punjabi culture these days and Indian culture as well, and disagreeing to it won't make it go away. So We accept it the way it is.
My religion teaches me that everything that happens is in the will of God and it's only our perception which makes it good or bad. For some reason my conscience doesn't allow me to go ahead and share a physical intimacy with a girl. I have no hard feelings for my peers who do so, but I see now that I'll be married soon and I it's hard for me to accept my future partners past. My male ego is coming in the way of accepting the reality of things.I feel even if I find a girl whom I am in love with, that I wouldn't trust her completely. There is a part of me which wants me to 'even' things out and go all the way before I settle down; But I know deep down that I'll feel guilt afterwards because I believe one should wait for physical intimation to be between between husband and wife.
I'm afraid to even talking with gals because I know what it may lead to.
I am struck in my mind. This is affecting my mind and health. My mind is running on this issue every day. Could someone please help me with a practical solution to this ? What should I do ?

Thanks for your time everyone.


Be practical, realistic and yourself.
Urging and thinking of doing anything is equal to doing that thing.
Problems come from the fact that strong majority of people tend or pretend to follow a religious path for social and family reasons which leads to hypocrisy and duality. We should shed hypocrisy and duality before following a religious path or while in Rome do as Romans do.
Thanks.
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Re: hard to control urge for Physical relation

Postby Guru Dutt » Tue Mar 24, 2015 2:26 pm

Why can't you consult an Urologist or a Psychiastrist? Better you do it asap and remember if you can't control your own mind then you can't make things in this world!
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Re: hard to control urge for Physical relation

Postby Guest » Mon Apr 06, 2015 2:58 am

It’s not like you can go back and erase your past. Maybe the goal should be to find someone who is religious minded, concentrated on their studies and their future, someone who is like minded, and make a future with them?
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Re: hard to control urge for Physical relation

Postby Guest » Wed Apr 15, 2015 6:02 am

My mind is running on this issue every day. Could someone please help me with a practical solution to this ? What should I do ?
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