Hindu Punjabi girl likes Sikh Boy

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Hindu Punjabi girl likes Sikh Boy

Postby Daisy » Sat Jan 01, 2011 3:14 pm

I recently met a sikh man where I work and admired him from afar. Over a preiod of many months we got to know each other very well and developed strong feelings for one another. Even though he feels the same way about me, he told me that he could never be with me as his family would not accept me - as I am Hindu Punjabi. My family would accept him. To be honest I feel devastated by the whole thing, but respect his decision.

I have many Hindu and Sikh friends and they are very surprised at his response. Maybe I amm being naive/ignorant but I didn't think that this would be a problem. Why is it?
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Re: Hindu Punjabi girl likes Sikh Boy

Postby Guest » Wed Jan 05, 2011 2:31 am

Dear it all depends on his upbringing. AS per sikhism, he can get married to you. His family needs some education. if no solution, check if you can baptise yourself and become a sikh for him. the difference will be only in appearance that will make his family happy. i dont think you are ignorant. before having strong feelings he should have taken account of everything. the approach should have been different from his end. think and you will find a way. talk to him. that would be the best possible way out or get close to his family as friends, etc. Gururakha.
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Re: Hindu Punjabi girl likes Sikh Boy

Postby kuthaman » Wed Jan 05, 2011 2:07 pm

Many people are stuck in the past when it comes to these marriages. My family is Sikh, but I have cousins who are of the Hindu faith. My Grandma was born Hindu, but she chose to embrace the Sikh faith. I see plenty of Punjabi's/Sikhs marrying non-Punjabi's that are of many different races. Talk to him and emphasize the fact that you are Punjabi, and hell you two share a culture. I am sure you have some idea what Sikhism entails, and I am sure he understands a bit of Hinduism. I lived with some Indian guys for a while, some were Hindus and some were Sikh. We all went to each others temples, but the thing we realized we were not that much different. The family is probably stuck in caste mode. If you are willing to explore Sikhism tell him that. I doubt the family would object to that. You two can learn together, and Sikhism fits your paradigm of the world incorporate into who you are. One of my friends' mom is not Punjabi, but he still maintains kesh. The mom is not anywhere ethnically close to even Indian, but it still works. SHE EVEN HAS LEARNED PUNJABI LOL!! Best of luck!! Don't be afraid to fight for what you want in life. Many of our elders are stuck in the 15th century, you can reach them through patience and perseverance.
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Re: Hindu Punjabi girl likes Sikh Boy

Postby kjsinghhyd » Thu Jan 06, 2011 8:00 pm

In this case the best option is to have a lengthy talk with the guy and get things cleared.

Daisy ji, if you wish to become a Sikh, then before becoming his Mrs. it is important you understand Sikhi and become a true Sikh of Guru. That could save you and your family from the cycle of reincarnation, and 'additionally' help you in getting your desired life partner.
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ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ ਜੀ ਕਾ ਖ਼ਾਲਸਾ
ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ ਜੀ ਕੀ ਫ਼ਤਿਹ
Kanwaljit Singh

ਖ਼ਾਲਸਾ ਸੋਇ ਕਰੇ ਨਿਤ ਜੰਗ - Khalsa is the One who always battles the vices within
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Re: Hindu Punjabi girl likes Sikh Boy

Postby Daisy » Thu Jan 20, 2011 2:44 pm

Thank you for your responses. I haven't spoken to him about this since and I have decided that he needs to make the right decision for himself. Even though I care about him after much thought I have decided to move on. I accept his religion and identity, it is what makes him who he is. But I feel that he needs to also accept my identity and who I am. I am sure both of us will meet that special someone!
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Re: Hindu Punjabi girl likes Sikh Boy

Postby shailenderkumar » Fri Jan 21, 2011 1:59 am

I think he might be right here. His family members are the followers of old traditions. And he really don't want to heart his family's feelings. I think you can try to convince him once again but if you fails so leave him alone and start your life apart.
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Re: Hindu Punjabi girl likes Sikh Boy

Postby Daisy » Sun Jan 23, 2011 2:21 pm

Thank you for your suggestions, however I have decided that it is best to move on. I believe that if someone wants to be with you, then they will. However if they are unsure then clearly there is an issue. I cannot convert to another religion as I would feel that it is denying who I am, I would never consider the idea of converting him, as I accept the whole package of who he is.
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Re: Hindu Punjabi girl likes Sikh Boy

Postby Guest » Fri Jul 15, 2011 2:21 am

What kinds of values do we need to bring to marriage to keep the relationship from starting and ending as a charade?

I do not see how two lovers can begin a life together that is based in trust when they resort to schemes such as you have described. It may seem that love will conquer all. But the love that conquers all is a love that has been mixed with wisdom about people and life.
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Re: Hindu Punjabi girl likes Sikh Boy

Postby harprit.gr8 » Fri Jul 15, 2011 10:06 pm

sat shri akal beta ji .
basic thing is what will be role of religion in life of you both after marraige , if for u as well as him religion is secondary to many other thigns then it is nt such an issue .
In sikhism marraige is union of two souls who decide to walk together on spiritual path , so in that sense it will help if you both have same thoughts on important issues of life .
Ask him what is the basic reason why his family is not ready to accept you as i agree hinduism and sikhism are different religions but a u said u r punjabi hindu so it wont be difficult for you to assimilate sikh values .

A very good article on the issue of inter religon marriage is http://sikhinstitute.org/teach_heri/39- ... youth.html
please go through it once .

Feel free to ask if u hav any further query .
thanks
HARPREET SINGH
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