Why Sex is not discussed freely in Sikh community

[Guest]

A controversial yet a very important issue. Specially for a Panth that revolves and emphasizes on Family Life. Sikhi never believes in leading a life of aesthetic and when all Gurus and the great Saints of our panth were family guys, why such kind of a censorship over such an issue that is central to leading the family life. As the World gets more open to sexuality and has moved towards the direction of opening up on this issue with even many schools making sex-education compulsory why can't it be discussed freely among Sikhs.

The openness towards sexuality has forced the Ancient teachings of Tantra of Hinduism , Buddhism (of Tibet) to come forward through literary and scholarly work. Even the Taoists of China and Zen of Japan have made their point of views open regarding this, even the Churches and missionary schools of the West had started discussing it freely (not all of course) ironically which always had a very harsh view towards the discussion of sex in Public.

Why we see it as such a taboo in Sikhi? A huge literature of Dasam Granth is always mocked and decried as it discusses the behavioural pattern of women through various stories which arises due to extreme lust and uncontrolled sexual behaviour. Even men's habits have been discussed. The 'Kalki Avtar' too mentions about the incest relationship that will exist AND REACH IT'S SHEMLESS LIMITS as the Kali Yuga progresses, Yet it is hardly discussed.

I WOULD LIKE TO INVITE THE VIEWS OF ALL MY BROTHERS & SISTERS IN THIS DIRECTION, WITH NO OFFENSIVE AND JUDGEMENTAL COMMENTS AND USE THIS SITE AS A PLATFORM TO AT LEAST THINK IN THIS DIRECTION FROM SIKHISM'S CONTEXT..

[rjosan]

I think not discussing sex might be more of a cultural issue. Otherwise Sikhs do believe in family life. It would be interesting to see if God has preference for one gender over another for any reason as I have read about it.

[Guest]

Sister,
God views each one of us equal and this thing is very much evident in none other than the actions of Dasvein Paatshaah when he established the khalsa panth, he gave women the surname 'Kaur' meaning princess. I agree that it's more of a cultural issue but don't you think as we advance and become more open towards this as the World progresses and as sex reaches more & more to our homes through media and internet we must open up and put forward our views as a Sikh openly in front of the society.

Just an example, Hindus always use to feel ashamed of the erotic sculptures,texts contained in their ancient texts and hence many Hindus themselves tried to negate it some decades back, some even going to the extent of decrying it as blasphemous. But as the World opens up we see more & more discussion of tantra and these so called banned texts by people all around the World. But instead we prefer to hide our texts, and deduce them into a caricature like Charitro-Pakhyan.. Why it should not be discussed? Of course there is no need to recite it as a prayer but it must be discussed as a literary piece on mismanaged sexual behaviours.

Then there is a lot of noise being made in the World of imparting sex-education among the young adults, I wonder if we from Sikhi's point of view can ever reach that stage ironically a panth that just treats Family Life as the Only Ways, it rejects renunciation, Sanyaas or anything of that sort.

[loveforsikhi]

You make a good point. I agree that sex is an important topic that needs to be discussed. The arguments people make for WHY they think we shouldn't talk about it are probably ones with faulty logic like they won't have sex if you don't talk about it, you are just encouraging them. Which we all know is wrong. Maybe lack of skills to talk about it comes into play, the general discomfort with how to approach the subject. At the end of the day, we do a lot of damage by not talking about it- example, Sikh victims of sexual violence don't get help and are silenced because of stereotypes that blame the victim and tell them that they have shamed their family, preventing the victim from getting help and going to the police so justice can be served. Sex is something you're not supposed to talk about after all, so how is she supposed to get help? This factor alone is a huge one on top of the many other reasons that we should be talking about it like teaching our kids about STDs and pregnancy in a world where we are bombarded with the topic of sex everywhere.

[rjosan]

I did not mean preference of one sex over another as defined and am aware that in Sikhism both sexes are equal. I was just thinking as I heard discussions at some places that Sikh boys are more recognizable as being Sikhs than Sikh girls who don't wear turbans. I think as time progressed, discussing sexuality openly did happen- it's like bringing your open mind to the forefront and making it clear. Like if people daydream and have sexual feelings but don't express them openly, then you see them being expressed openly. Even in media, you can see in punjabi songs, sexuality is more openly discussed. Some people are critical of that but from a certain angle, I think it is just discussing important things more openly. There are several angles to the same topic, you can criticize it or say it was important to have done it that way, there would be a million opinions.