Mean husband

Family, love, marriage, children and the relationship of ourselves to our own soul and to the Guru

Mean husband

Postby navi7b » Wed Feb 21, 2018 10:29 pm

Sat Shri Akal ji, I need advice. My in-laws and my husband are very mean. It is very hard for me live with them. I have two kids a daughter and a son. I am not working right now because my son is just 2 and half year old. My husband always disrespect me and my parents in front of his family and his relatives all the time. He always trust his family and even other people rather than me. He wanted to buy his own truck, then I gave him $30000 , which were my savings that I saved before met him and borrow from my some money from my brother and from my credit cards. Now he is not giving back me any single penny . He wants me to get more money from my parents to repay all my credit card loans. I am not working now. I am tired from credit card collection calls. He doesn’t give me a single penny for my expenses. If I want to buy a soda for kids, then I have to ask him before to buy. otherwise he always get mad and abuse me badly in Punjabi. I tried to leave him, then he cooked different stories against my character and my parents. His parents and my husband got together his family friends or relatives against me and my family even against my younger brother and sister. My father-in law and mother-in law always blamed me that I married to their son only for money. Even though my husband never give me his salary. He always deposit his paycheck in his brother’s wife account . My in-laws and my husband always give more respect to his elder brother’s wife and always disrespect me in front of her to make her happy. I couldn’t understand what I should do? Teach him lesson or just divorced him? He couldn’t let me to see my relatives or parents nor they could come to our House because he said he doesn’t like them.
navi7b
New User
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Feb 21, 2018 9:46 pm

Re: Mean husband

Postby loveforsikhi » Sun Apr 08, 2018 12:34 am

navi7b wrote:Sat Shri Akal ji, I need advice. My in-laws and my husband are very mean. It is very hard for me live with them. I have two kids a daughter and a son. I am not working right now because my son is just 2 and half year old. My husband always disrespect me and my parents in front of his family and his relatives all the time. He always trust his family and even other people rather than me. He wanted to buy his own truck, then I gave him $30000 , which were my savings that I saved before met him and borrow from my some money from my brother and from my credit cards. Now he is not giving back me any single penny . He wants me to get more money from my parents to repay all my credit card loans. I am not working now. I am tired from credit card collection calls. He doesn’t give me a single penny for my expenses. If I want to buy a soda for kids, then I have to ask him before to buy. otherwise he always get mad and abuse me badly in Punjabi. I tried to leave him, then he cooked different stories against my character and my parents. His parents and my husband got together his family friends or relatives against me and my family even against my younger brother and sister. My father-in law and mother-in law always blamed me that I married to their son only for money. Even though my husband never give me his salary. He always deposit his paycheck in his brother’s wife account . My in-laws and my husband always give more respect to his elder brother’s wife and always disrespect me in front of her to make her happy. I couldn’t understand what I should do? Teach him lesson or just divorced him? He couldn’t let me to see my relatives or parents nor they could come to our House because he said he doesn’t like them.


Very hard situation for you. Him controlling the money is economic abuse- giving an allowance, making you ask for money, taking your money. Have you seen the power and control wheel for abuse? It has that on there. Even if there wasn’t physical violence,the stuff you describe counts. http://www.womenhelpingwomenmaui.com/re ... -of-abuse/
I don’t know which country you are in but doctors often have good resources for these situations- helping you emotionally through this, finding counseling individually, and finding resources if you do end up leaving at some point. If he is willing to work on himself you might be able to save yourself from a divorce. Working on himself would be him getting individual counseling to work no how he treats you and where that stems from. It’s appropriate for you to stand your ground if you feel its safe for you to do so- you should be allowed to see and talk to your family as much as you want, and to access your family finances. These are your rights. The police (in the western world) can also usually help you learn about your rights in the relationship. (It doesn’t have to be a formal complaint, I think you can go and talk to someone to get some advice). There are always domestic violence hotlines and websites for support. You aren’t alone. Do you have friends to talk to so you aren’t isolated? There is also this: http://www.sikhfamilyhelpline.com
Sorry you are going through such a rough time and we are here for you.
loveforsikhi
Active Forum User
 
Posts: 122
Joined: Sat Apr 04, 2009 7:49 pm


Return to Relationships

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests