a really ugly breakup

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a really ugly breakup

Postby bediban000 » Thu Aug 31, 2017 10:50 pm

I really liked this amritdhari guy. we dated for about 11 months until he told me he wanted to have a break till i was 18. Then on saturday, he went to a camp and fell head over heels with another amritdhari girl. unsure of this yet, he then called a breakup. soon after he told me that he has feeling for that girl. and i was heartbroken. he promised me he would stay single and claimed it was "hukam". since it was only a couple of days after the breakup, i was still not emotionally ready to move on because i really loved him. a month or so after our breakup, he finally asked her out. and im still not over him. so i have 2 questions

1. is it wrong that i still have so many feelings for him. or is it against sri guru granth sahib ji that i am looking at another womans man?

2. was it really hukam? im just confused
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Re: a really ugly breakup

Postby Romesh Kumar » Fri Sep 01, 2017 12:45 pm

It would be better to not to drag religion and spirituality into these worldly attractions of teenage.
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Re: a really ugly breakup

Postby bediban000 » Fri Sep 01, 2017 6:27 pm

Romesh Kumar wrote:It would be better to not to drag religion and spirituality into these worldly attractions of teenage.


but god determines everything. even who u are with. so wouldnt religion be a part of this too?
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Re: a really ugly breakup

Postby Romesh Kumar » Sat Sep 02, 2017 11:07 am

bediban000 wrote:but god determines everything. even who u are with. so wouldn't religion be a part of this too?


Then what is the problem ?

bediban000 wrote:1. is it wrong that i still have so many feelings for him. or is it against sri guru granth sahib ji that i am looking at another womans man?

2. was it really hukam? im just confused
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Re: a really ugly breakup

Postby Superstar » Mon Sep 04, 2017 2:36 pm

1) He wasn't your man as he wasn't married to you.
2) Yes, you are wrong looking at him like that.
3) Hukam is to not engage in immoral behavior.
4) Hukam is to consider woman other than married wife as mother or sister or daughter.
5) Not sure what or who is giving him messed up hukams. Must be his own dirty mind.
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Re: a really ugly breakup

Postby Romesh Kumar » Tue Sep 05, 2017 3:49 am

Superstar wrote:1) He wasn't your man as he wasn't married to you.
2) Yes, you are wrong looking at him like that.
3) Hukam is to not engage in immoral behavior.
4) Hukam is to consider woman other than married wife as mother or sister or daughter.
5) Not sure what or who is giving him messed up hukams. Must be his own dirty mind.


Very well said. Thanks
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Re: a really ugly breakup

Postby VeeruS » Tue Sep 05, 2017 3:36 pm

I have spent several more years on thus earth than you have and I will give this advice.

Everything depends on your own emotions.

If you emotionally strong person, nobody can mess you up.

Otherwise, everybody will take advantage of you.
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Re: a really ugly breakup

Postby Superstar » Tue Sep 05, 2017 7:23 pm

Also, control your emotions and keep control of yourself. Otherwise, you will keep falling into the trap. Connect with bani to make yourself stronger to overcome these emotional attachments.
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Re: a really ugly breakup

Postby bediban000 » Tue Sep 05, 2017 9:46 pm

VeeruS wrote:I have spent several more years on thus earth than you have and I will give this advice.

Everything depends on your own emotions.

If you emotionally strong person, nobody can mess you up.

Otherwise, everybody will take advantage of you.


I've never been emotionally strong. I've had a really traumatic past, and that resulted in major depression. I don't really know what to do. I really loved this guy. I put everything on the line for him.
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Re: a really ugly breakup

Postby VeeruS » Fri Sep 08, 2017 12:37 pm

We all have to be strong. Only then, we can be happy. Some people find support from co-coreligionists, family and friends. These are all good but eventually, we have to find that peace from with ourselves.
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