Sikhi on masterbation

[Almighty Khalsa]

Waheguru ji ka khalsa Waheguru ji ke fateh. Hello sisters and brothers. I am a 14 year old student from Canada. I moved to Canada in November 2011. I got into porn and all the dark stuff in 2013. Then I found out masterbation. I used do it regularly but now I barely do it. I felt guilty after doing this act. And I seeked help. I went on Internet forums and sikhsim forum. Some said it is good and some say it is bad. But the one that I think is true is that if master bate with lust then it is a paap. But if normal it is good and not a paap. I had extreme confusion and guiltless after I master bate. So I would like all the Singh and kaur opinions about masterbation. So basically please advice me to the right path to God. (By the way. I don't master bate with lust. And you may ask me for more information or questions). Thankyou very much in advance. ( I'm very religious too and my family) Bole so nihale sta shri akal! :)

[Guest]

I'm a little surprised that no one has commented on this, maybe perhaps since lust is such a taboo to talk about in Sikhi, that no one felt like answering this? Anyways, Waheguru Ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ki Fateh Veerji.

A lot of youth struggle with masturbating, so don't think you're alone in this battle. We have to realize that experiencing kaam is not bad, it is part of a natural human behavior, it's what you do and how to react to that matter.

Everyone experiences kaam, krodh, lob, moh, and hankar. Lust, anger, greed, attachment, and ego. And in fact, the further you go in your kamai, you will experiences trials of these 5 thieves. Most everyone, with the exception of saints, will struggle their way through these.
It's really not possible to masturbate without experiencing lust. That is your first step. Recognize what you are experiencing. If you deny it, you wouldn't be able to overcome it and move on.

But, we also must realize, that only Maharaj, only Guru ji can help us and give us the strength to control our lust.
Guilt and shame are a common emotion when dealing with masturbating. You may also go into a period of time where you indulge in kaam and not care, before going back to trying to control it. It's a battle between mind and soul. It's not easy in a world where everything is becoming a temptation. Remind yourself why you are fighting your mind, who you are fighting it for.

Second step, what are you accessing porn on? Is iit a phone, laptop, family computer? You need to recognize when you are most likely to masturbate and what you are using to help you do that. Most likely when you are alone, in your room or the restroom. If you go into your room, never close the door.

I know, we all like our privacy, especially from family, but this is greatly going to help you. Always keep your door open, most particularly when you are going to sleep for the night. If you are also likely to masturbate in the restroom, keep a close eye on the time. I am going to spend 10x less time in the bathroom when I know the door is unlocked. In this sense, I am going to do my business as quickly as possible. You wont feel a desire to masturbate when anyone can walk in on you at any moment, and if you do, remind yourself that it is going to be humiliating for a family member to find you in that situation, much less how they are going to react. Get in and out as quickly as possible.

One thing, is to also clearly tell yourself what you are about to do, or have done. " I choose kaam over you today Maharaj." This may seem like a guilting process to some, but what you are really doing is bringing awareness to yourself of what exactly you are allowing to stand In the way between you and Maharaj. It is only our ego that seperates us.
Always keep Kirtan going, especially in your room. You are much less likely to masturbate when Bani is playing and reminding you what life is truly about.

Yes there will be people that tell you masturbating is healthy, and it's normal. Sikhs and nonsikh's alike. But Bani speaks clearly on kaam. People may tell you that masturbating isn't specifically mentioned so it's okay. I'm not here to tell someone what is right or wrong. But if you are looking for an answer, this is what I feel bani is telling us. But always make sure to ask Guru Ji first. Guru ji is our teacher. If you have a question, they will find a way to answer it. And checking with Saadh Sangat is also good. It's just difficult sometimes knowing who is Saadh Sangat on forumns or not.

Anyways, there are many other ways to stop, but to me, if you eliminate the being alone aspect as much as possible, you are less likely to masturbate. Does that mean that you won't feel the urge? No, only doing bani and simran will help you truly control that.
Fall in love with Maharaj. There's actually a saying here that works well.

"If you want to build a ship, don't drum up the men to gather wood, divide the work and give orders. Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea..."
- Antoine de Saint Exupery

Anyone can tell you what not to do to help you stop masturbating, but it's really only love for Maharaj, and his kirpa, his blessings, that will help you control lust.

I know I've been rambling on for some time now. Sorry for the long message. It is a battle, brother. You are certainly not alone. Keep going. You will fail, get back up. Maharaj will certainly hear your call if you cry out with a true heart. A mother can't ignore the voice of a beloved child.

[Guest]

http://www.sikhsangat.com/index.php?/to ... turbation/

The same problem has had a mighty open discussion here above.

[Superstar]

You are not eve allowed to legally watch porn so you could get in trouble with the law. Also, you shouldn't be watching porn anyways as it corrupts the mind. You want to keep the mind clean and not corrupt it.

Masturbation isn't a bajjar kurehit but you shouldn't indulge in it as it causes you to lose semen. It takes 10 blood cells to produce 1 semen cell so you are wasting a lot of blood. For a healthier lifestyle, read bani, stay chardi kala, go outside and do exercise.

Other than that, it is your will power and self control on how much masturbation you do or don't do.

If you indulged in with someone, it would be bajjar kurehit and would make you lose status as Sikh.

[Guest]

It takes 10 blood cells to produce 1 semen cell so you are wasting a lot of blood.

Can you quote a medical source because this is clearly made up. You're not wasting a lot of blood secondary to the act of masturbation. That's ridiculous.

Just trying to clear things up, especially if someone is asking for a helpful discussion.

[Superstar]

It is a Chinese proverb.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Semen

[Guest]

Thanks for replying. So it's just a saying and not something that's based on evidence. Better to be clear about that.

[drdln]

Pure thoughts and good company is the permanent solution. But please don't feel guilty. It's better alternative for teenagers than premarital sex and pregnancy...