1st cousin marriage

[np]

Hello SSA,
A friend of mine is marrying her first cousin(bua's son). As we all know that this occur mostly in islam to marry cousin. Our Gurus sacrified their lives, but never accepted faith of islam(time of Aurangzeb and other muslim rulers). Many Sikhs men, women and children sacrified their lives to follow guru's path of achiving god. I tried to convince my friend that its against the sikhism to do such thing. She argued that family ok her marriage and SGGS did not mention anything about who to marry. Her last name is Anand. I am not familiar with sikhism but read lot of books on gurus and their extraordinary, spiritual lives that inspired many of us. Is it possible to do such act that contradict with lot of sikh belives?? This incident raises lot of questions. My brothers and sisters, please help me out to clear off some doubts...
Thanks

[manvir singh khalsa]

Dear Sir,

You are best to have a genetic/ medical test done that will show that genetic disease will be the result of this mix.

All other examples are unnecessary, for the Truth shall set you free.

[lonesoldier84]

ah well at least u save money on the wedding....fewer seating arrangements and invitations :)

[singhbj]

Waheguru ji ka khalsa
Waheguru ji ki fateh

np ji,

As per traditon, parents arrange the marriage of their son's and daughter's. Most of the time arrangement is done within community (religion, caste or biradri). It is done so that the bride & groom as well as their families share common sentiments & mentality (do's & don'ts).

Marriage to first cousin is not mandatory but some individuals of certain communities like Khukrain, Khatri and Arora prefer it.

In my school days, i used to make fun & annoy fellow mates who were of Afghan origin in regards to this custom. Later on in life i came across poor Sikh family who had recently migrated from Afghanistan to India. They wanted to marry of their daughter but as they had no money no body was willing to accept her. The next practical option for them was to marry her off to a cousin who were facing similar problems due to their background.

This made me realise and see the TRUTH. I felt and still feel so ASHAMED of my self for making fun & hurting the sentiments of my school mates.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa
Waheguru ji ki fateh

[just_sikh]

You or not converting in to Islam by doing this although it may be unethical. Lot of sikhs follow Hindu rituals with a little twist but they are not hindus.

Real question is can you marry first cousin (Father's sister -'Bhua' son). As far as I know tradition is that you do not marry in to your fathers family name and mothers family name. If your father is Bedi and mother is Arora you cannot marry Bedi or Arora. As in case your friend is doing is ethically wrong. As girl's father and boy's mother are from same family name.

Now question arises for sikhs because we are not supposed to have family names. We are all Singh. You are supposed marry in Gursikh family. Now if both in above case are Gursikhs then if they marry then nothing is wrong according to sikh maryada.

These are my thoughts.

[AM]

Marrying cousins has nothing to do with religion so no point looking for some reasoning or explanation either way in any faith.

Marrying cousins is purely a cultural norm that spans the world. You will find it within the Mormom community. You will find it within the Bahai community. You will find it within the Muslim community. You will find it within different denominations of Christianity too. And so on. It is sometimes a strong cultural norm such as maybe it is in South India? Other times it is done our of necessity/fear of the unknown etc.

Apart from the genetic repercussions to any future children its really a question of societal acceptance/rejection of such unions. If you belong to a culture that accepts it then its ok and if you don't then its not.

AM

[Kuldip S. Virdi]

I come from a family in Doaba region of Punjab. I do remember that in old time when settling a matrimonial match, perosns belonging to four 'gotras' were considered taboo. The four gotras meant that person marrying would not belong to 'family name' or 'gotra' of your father, mother, paternal and maternal grandmother.

After the partion of India and resettlement of people from the western part of Punjab in Doaba , the people of doab became aware of the cousin marriage and exchange marriage and Doabis used to look down upon such matches.
It was certainly not a sikh issue but more of a regional and cultural one. Further, these people sought matches amonsgt family belonging to Doaba region only probably for the compatibility of customs.

Guru Fateh.

Kuldip Singh

[pooja]

I don't know it's right or wrong.

In my family, i have seen many marriages between first cousins.
I heard that only brother-brother's children can not marry.

Two sister- sister's children and brother- sister's children can marry. And it is happening in our families widely with no objection. Actually, these days it is preference to look within the family.

Thanks

[Karan Deep Sagri]

I don't know it's right or wrong.

In my family, i have seen many marriages between first cousins.
I heard that only brother-brother's children can not marry.

Two sister- sister's children and brother- sister's children can marry. And it is happening in our families widely with no objection. Actually, these days it is preference to look within the family.

Thanks

Are you sure Pooja, that in your family real brother sisters children are marrying each other? I have heard of 1st Cousin's Children marrying but not 1st cousins marrying each other.

[manvir singh khalsa]

"All humans are thought to carry a number of such defective genes. Close relatives are likely to carry similar genes and gene defects, and are therefore more likely to bear children with recessive genetic diseases if they mate. Because of this, a prohibition against marriage of close relatives is found in virtually every culture in the world."

http://www.biologyreference.com/Fo-Gr/G ... eases.html

Once again, apart from misleading people who may be reading this topic, I will re-iterate, please see a medical professional, a doctor of genetics, a research team, a fertility clinic, whatever have you.

Close relations lead to genetic disease at extremely high levels.

Inter family relations were common within the French, British, Spanish and european dynasties of the past in order to keep the dynasties within the family as close as possible, the result was minions of genetic problems in offspring.

Scientifically this has been affirmed at the highest rungs of research, and thus it is written within most laws of nations that it is illegal.

Unless you live in a country or under a religion that allows this, this is absolutely distasteful in every sense of the word.

Please, do some research.