Leaving Sikhi

[Guest]

From day one I have always wanted to keep my kesh but I am not allowed because of my parents it has been years and years now in which I have learnt to tie a dastar do kirtan and gatka study punjabi do my amrit vela etc. After years and years I have asked my parents again and again to keep my kesh but no. Yesterday I had a huge argument with my close family members in which no one likes me I myself said things I shouldn't have but the points about sikhi I kept on correcting. Even my own family said to me sikhi is ruining our family because of me. I do ardas everyday 3 times a day for me to keep my kesh but my Guru can't give me that. I have gotten to the point the first time I have stopped my amrit Vela and drifted away from sikhi when I was doing an ardas after the heated argument I felt no connection any more even to paath I have no more connection. I am no more a Sikh and needs the sangats help and advice.

[VeeruS]

That's really a strange situation. Why do your parents have problem with you keeping Sikhi? Generally, it's the other way around.

If you respond, please keep in mind that I am not a Sikh myself. I simply have a opinion that parents should not have problem in your situation.

[mannixo]

WJKK WJKF,

If your parents are just stopping you from keeping kesh but they don't stop you from learning kirtan or waking up at amrit vela to pray. I am not saying they are right in doing this, but maybe you could see this as a test?

You could see all these years as being a long time to be doing ardaas for your parents to let you keep your kesh, or it could be a small segment of your life. I think it is just generally important to focus on the fact that you are able to wake up and pray and focus on being strong and never giving up.

Perhaps you could then move out or once your older you can start to live your life the way you want to.

Please don't give up, it can be hard to be strong when you think you might not have any support around you, but Guru ji is always with you.

we are soldiers, we can get through this

[Guest]

Thanks everyone with advice but I haven't mentioned how my parents are my mum and dad are 50 50 with believing in God my dad drinks eats meat etc and they don't want me to follow sikhi by keeping hair and taking amrit. My dad makes fun out of sikhi and says things he shouldn't. I am slowly losing my faith since it has been 3 4 years I do ardas from my heart but guru ji just won't help me the more I come close to sikhi my studies go low and I do badetention in a lot of things since I have come away my life has been better in general but I am scared of leaving my Guru I have this connection please sangat ji help me

[Superstar]

Just keep your hair and tie turban. Don't take baptism until you are independent to live on your own or survive on your own. It is highly likely that your dad feels embarrassed about his Sikhi level so he tries to make himself feel better by trying to demoralize your and talk trash.

[rjosan]

I think family does have a lot of influence in how much religion we follow. The opinions of people we live with count a lot. But I also thought usually it is other way round with parents wanting their kids to follow in their footsteps and be more religious. Even if someone is not too religious, stopping someone else from praying is not needed as it is not a bad habit. Prayer is always good. Like I would stop someone from bad habits like drinking alcohol or smoking. Praying is always good, it just leads people to the right path.

[dibjot13]

Singh. You are in a situation, but, and as indifferent as this may sound, you have to try to follow in the best way you can. This is Hukam, and know that Guru Ji is all-knowing. He's put you in this situation Himself - never, ever lose faith. Try to hang around Sangat around you who also like Kirtan, Naam, and Katha. Go meet them, make the effort, and if there's no one around, find them online. Check out and go through the Basics of Sikhi YouTube channel - even message them if you think it's getting too much.

Guru Ji knows your situation. Never give up. As one of the posts before - we are soldiers. Just gotta keep doing the Sikhi brother. Stay strong.

If you really feel like you're falling, go to Gurduara, fold your hands, do Ardaas and beg Maharaj for a Hukamnama. After your Ardaas, get a copy of the Hukamnama and contemplate it and your answer/future direction will be there. Go with 100% faith (or with as much as possible) and your answer will be there. If you can't - download the Sikhnet app and click on "random Shabad".

All the best :)

Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh