Why do parents send their children to get married abroad?

[UKSingh123]

WJKK WJKF

I have a question I have been pondering over for a while.

I am curious to know why do parents send their children to get married abroad? This applies to both men and women I guess? Is it because parents are fed up with the westernized lifestyle led by their children and for them to gain discipline abroad?

I am not here to say what is right or wrong or in fact judge, but from what I have seen I guess that both guys and girls would much rather marry someone that is resident in their own country, given the choice?

Thoughts please?

[loveforsikhi]

WJKK WJKF
I’m only guessing here because I’m not a parent. I have seen a lot of people here in Canada send their kids to get married in India. All boys- I don’t think I’ve seen girls do the same. I suspect that is because 1) maybe the parents aren’t happy with the kind of girls their son is dating- they want the “traditional” daughter-in-law type. After all, most of these guys have dated A LOT of girls before they go abroad 2) maybe even greed is a motivator- they can get a dowry if they get married there 3) the guy can’t find anyone that’s Sikh because they live somewhere where there isn’t a lot of Sikh girls and they feel that he is “running out of time” and getting “too old” now 4) the kind of girl his mom wants him to marry wants nothing to do with him because of his bad reputation 5) they feel they can get a better sense of who the girl is in India/less surprises. I don’t really see the discipline argument. If a guy likes to go out partying, he’s going to ditch his new traditional wife at home and still go out partying, it doesn’t really change. If he’s a gang member, or wants to cheat on his wife, etc. it isn’t going to change anything. Sidenote, I feel really bad for girls who get stuck in a situation like that- they are in a new country and all they knew was he was from Canada and therefore they were supposed to have a good life. Instead sometimes they are stuck in an abusive relationship. Personally, as a female who is of marrying age, I would never think to go out of the country to get married. That person isn’t going to understand my life and its going to take a lot of (unnecessary) work. I admit I’m a little judgmental in this comment, sorry if I’ve offended anyone.

[UKSingh123]

WJKK WJKF

Thank you for your response and I think you are right in a lot of what you say.

The reason to why I asked was because I recently found out that my ex-partner (also Sikh from the UK) of 8 years had got married to a guy in India. I must admit that I was quite shocked at this, not that it concerns me anymore as I never though that she was of that type?

I can only judge her based on my past relationship with her, where she was out drinking, partying, doing drugs, telling lies and having affairs with other men behind my back. I don't know why but a part of me actually feels for this new guy from India that she is now with, but then again, I don't have anything to do with her anymore.

[Guest]

WJKK WJKF
I’m only guessing here because I’m not a parent. I have seen a lot of people here in Canada send their kids to get married in India. All boys- I don’t think I’ve seen girls do the same. I suspect that is because 1) maybe the parents aren’t happy with the kind of girls their son is dating- they want the “traditional” daughter-in-law type. After all, most of these guys have dated A LOT of girls before they go abroad 2) maybe even greed is a motivator- they can get a dowry if they get married there 3) the guy can’t find anyone that’s Sikh because they live somewhere where there isn’t a lot of Sikh girls and they feel that he is “running out of time” and getting “too old” now 4) the kind of girl his mom wants him to marry wants nothing to do with him because of his bad reputation 5) they feel they can get a better sense of who the girl is in India/less surprises. I don’t really see the discipline argument. If a guy likes to go out partying, he’s going to ditch his new traditional wife at home and still go out partying, it doesn’t really change. If he’s a gang member, or wants to cheat on his wife, etc. it isn’t going to change anything. Sidenote, I feel really bad for girls who get stuck in a situation like that- they are in a new country and all they knew was he was from Canada and therefore they were supposed to have a good life. Instead sometimes they are stuck in an abusive relationship. Personally, as a female who is of marrying age, I would never think to go out of the country to get married. That person isn’t going to understand my life and its going to take a lot of (unnecessary) work. I admit I’m a little judgmental in this comment, sorry if I’ve offended anyone.

Thanks very much for this, I am from India and here the same happens when daughters are sent abroad to marry an abroad Sikh