Dispute regarding Sikh funeral and women's role

[LallyTheSikh]

Sat Shri Akal

Is there any written rule/reason that prevents women from attending the ash spreading ceremony? So far, all I can find is that it's primarily traditional reasons. I am researching a dispute within our family.

Many thanks in advance.
Satwant

[IJJSingh]

Bhai Satwant Singh ji,

Sikhism does not recognize ash ceremony or any death ceremony (outside the singing of gurbani). Sikhism does not even recognize death the way we perceive it. Sikhism also does not recognize gender discrimination. The Sikh Rehat Maryada Article XIX.f suggests that left over ashes from a pyre be buried or thrown in flowing water. This is a practical disposal method rather than a ritual/ceremony. In my view, if your in-laws wish to exclude females from disposing ashes, they should do so based on their manmat but not in the name of gurmat.

According to Sikhism we are gifted this human existence to achieve awareness that we are not a body but a soul. Our soul is an inseparable part of the One Eternal Waheguru, and it has no gender. We do not die. Our body is a lifeless pile of dust and other earthly elements which runs around until we reside in it. Once we leave it, the pile of dust stops moving and falls back into dust. If the ones left behind mourn and focus on the body, then they have not yet learnt the truth.


ਰਾਮਕਲੀ ਮਹਲਾ ੫ ॥
Raamkalee, Fifth Mehl:
ਪਵਨੈ ਮਹਿ ਪਵਨੁ ਸਮਾਇਆ ॥
The wind merges into the wind.
ਜੋਤੀ ਮਹਿ ਜੋਤਿ ਰਲਿ ਜਾਇਆ ॥
The light blends into the light.
ਮਾਟੀ ਮਾਟੀ ਹੋਈ ਏਕ ॥
The dust becomes one with the dust.
ਰੋਵਨਹਾਰੇ ਕੀ ਕਵਨ ਟੇਕ ॥੧॥
What support is there for the one who is lamenting? ||1||
ਕਉਨੁ ਮੂਆ ਰੇ ਕਉਨੁ ਮੂਆ ॥
Who has died? O, who has died?
ਬ੍ਰਹਮ ਗਿਆਨੀ ਮਿਲਿ ਕਰਹੁ ਬੀਚਾਰਾ ਇਹੁ ਤਉ ਚਲਤੁ ਭਇਆ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥
O God-realized beings, meet together and consider this. What a wondrous thing has happened! ||1||Pause||
ਅਗਲੀ ਕਿਛੁ ਖਬਰਿ ਨ ਪਾਈ ॥
No one knows what happens after death.
ਰੋਵਨਹਾਰੁ ਭਿ ਊਠਿ ਸਿਧਾਈ ॥
The one who is lamenting will also arise and depart.
ਭਰਮ ਮੋਹ ਕੇ ਬਾਂਧੇ ਬੰਧ ॥
Mortal beings are bound by the bonds of doubt and attachment.
ਸੁਪਨੁ ਭਇਆ ਭਖਲਾਏ ਅੰਧ ॥੨॥
When life becomes a dream, the blind man babbles and grieves in vain. ||2||
ਇਹੁ ਤਉ ਰਚਨੁ ਰਚਿਆ ਕਰਤਾਰਿ ॥
The Creator Lord created this creation.
ਆਵਤ ਜਾਵਤ ਹੁਕਮਿ ਅਪਾਰਿ ॥
It comes and goes, subject to the Will of the Infinite Lord.
ਨਹ ਕੋ ਮੂਆ ਨ ਮਰਣੈ ਜੋਗੁ ॥
No one dies; no one is capable of dying.
ਨਹ ਬਿਨਸੈ ਅਬਿਨਾਸੀ ਹੋਗੁ ॥੩॥
The soul does not perish; it is imperishable. ||3||
ਜੋ ਇਹੁ ਜਾਣਹੁ ਸੋ ਇਹੁ ਨਾਹਿ ॥
That which is known, does not exist.
ਜਾਨਣਹਾਰੇ ਕਉ ਬਲਿ ਜਾਉ ॥
I am a sacrifice to the one who knows this.
ਕਹੁ ਨਾਨਕ ਗੁਰਿ ਭਰਮੁ ਚੁਕਾਇਆ ॥
Says Nanak, the Guru has dispelled my doubt.
ਨਾ ਕੋਈ ਮਰੈ ਨ ਆਵੈ ਜਾਇਆ ॥੪॥੧੦॥
No one dies; no one comes or goes. ||4||10|| (SGGS 885)

Waheguru ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ki Fateh

[LallyTheSikh]

Thank you very much. Your comment about manmat and gurmat addresses this for me.

Waheguru ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ki Fateh

Satwant.

[Romesh Kumar]

[quote="IJJSingh"]Bhai Satwant Singh ji,

Sikhism does not recognize ash ceremony or any death ceremony (outside the singing of gurbani). Sikhism does not even recognize death the way we perceive it. Sikhism also does not recognize gender discrimination. The Sikh Rehat Maryada Article XIX.f suggests that left over ashes from a pyre be buried or thrown in flowing water. This is a practical disposal method rather than a ritual/ceremony. In my view, if your in-laws wish to exclude females from disposing ashes, they should do so based on their manmat but not in the name of gurmat.

According to Sikhism we are gifted this human existence to achieve awareness that we are not a body but a soul. Our soul is an inseparable part of the One Eternal Waheguru, and it has no gender. We do not die. Our body is a lifeless pile of dust and other earthly elements which runs around until we reside in it. Once we leave it, the pile of dust stops moving and falls back into dust. If the ones left behind mourn and focus on the body, then they have not yet learnt the truth.
quote]

In my opinion, waste management system still applies as that dust/corpse can not be left unattended to for other souls to suffer by looking at it or because of unhygienic atmosphere a corpse would create.
This is further followed by a fact written boldly on the wall that culture, customs, traditions, history, relations, emotions, sentiments, feelings apply to human race . A human being can not be human being in the absence and practices of the same. Thanks.