by IJJSingh » Sat Feb 13, 2016 9:12 am
Bibi Ravjot Kaur ji,
During my routine reading I came across a verse in SGGS which may help in your predicament.
As per gurmat, we can "be happy", but we cannot "plan to be happy". When we are thankful in hukam we become happy instantly. The moment we "plan to be happy", we are not content in hukam and we are employing wishes and worries to change our situation, and then happiness becomes elusive, because wishes and worries are never ending.
The Guru has given us many amazing things which should make us ecstatic. Instead we take these for granted and become miserable because one little thing is not going the way we want. I want you to conduct the following two small tests on yourself:
1. Of all the things you possess today, pick the one which you think is the most important. Then imagine for a moment how devastating would it be if you lost that thing. This should give you the idea how thankful you need to be because God has given you that thing without you even asking. ਦਸ ਬਸਤੂ ਲੇ ਪਾਛੈ ਪਾਵੈ ॥ ਏਕ ਬਸਤੁ ਕਾਰਨਿ ਬਿਖੋਟਿ ਗਵਾਵੈ ॥ ਏਕ ਭੀ ਨ ਦੇਇ ਦਸ ਭੀ ਹਿਰਿ ਲੇਇ ॥ ਤਉ ਮੂੜਾ ਕਹੁ ਕਹਾ ਕਰੇਇ ॥ He obtains ten things, and puts them behind him; For the sake of one thing withheld, he forfeits his faith. But what if that one thing were not given, and the ten were taken away? Then, what could the fool say or do? (SGGS 268)
2. There are roughly seven billion people on this planet. Imagine how many billions in this world would be willing to give up a lot just to trade places with you. I bet these people would do somersaults in glee if they are granted what you already have. Now you can understand the amount of reasons God has already given you to be happy. If you are still only planning and placing pre-requisites on becoming happy, then can you ever be happy?
The above doesn't mean that we should stop doing or trying anything and not wish, worry or plan about anything. There are good wishes/worries/plans and there are bad wishes/worries/plans. Good worries/wishes are the ones which incent us to do things which we can manage. For example, wish/plan/worry helps me to get to work on time every morning. Bad worry would be if I started dwelling on the fear that I could die in a car accident while driving to work. So please do not give up things which you can undertake to improve your current situation - just remain positive and thankful while doing so.
Sorry for the long winded preamble above. Coming back to your ask. I did come across a verse in SGGS which I believe you could use as a paath for help in your situation. The Guru says that our happiness depends on being one with God. Imagine that God resides in a fort. The entrance to that fort is hardship. Wishes and worries are two shutters on this entrance. The entrance is guarded by resentment. Material things and worldly attachments fill the moat around this fort. We need to use our hardship to our advantage (because we remember God more when we face a hardship). We can use the hardship as an entrance door to meet God, provided we do not get mired in wishes, worries and attachments and become resentful.
ਦੁਖੁ ਦਰਵਾਜਾ ਰੋਹੁ ਰਖਵਾਲਾ ਆਸਾ ਅੰਦੇਸਾ ਦੁਇ ਪਟ ਜੜੇ ॥
Pain is the door, and anger is the guard; hope and anxiety are the two shutters.
ਮਾਇਆ ਜਲੁ ਖਾਈ ਪਾਣੀ ਘਰੁ ਬਾਧਿਆ ਸਤ ਕੈ ਆਸਣਿ ਪੁਰਖੁ ਰਹੈ ॥੨॥
Maya is the water in the moat; in the middle of this moat, he has built his home. The Primal Lord sits in the Seat of Truth. ||2|| (SGGS 877)
Please repeat the above verse as many times as you need. Remember you are the boss, and anytime your mind goes into worries, recite the above verse and make your mind listen to it.
Waheguru ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ki Fateh