Pubic hair- guy wants girl to remove

[Sherni]

Dear brothers and sisters,

I am in a dilemma. I am amritdhari Singhni and dont remove any hair. I have never done any bajjar kurehat. I have recently got engaged to a Singh who is not an amritdhari. He removes his pubic hair. Before we got engaged, he told me he would want me to remove my pubic hair after our Anand Karaj- and I would give him a straight no. Next time he brought up this topic he kept saying that sexlife is better if you remove pubic hair. I said, how do you know? He always refers to ''My friends tell me'' He mentioned a friend who got divorced coz of sex issues etc. I kindly said that I was blessed with amrit 7 years ago and keeping my hair is my committment to my Guru. therefore, I cannot remove it. He said I respect your committment.

We got engaged 1,5 months ago and he has very strong opinions of postponing the marriage. First time, he postponed from this summer to Dec- and we agreed. Now he wants to postpone from dec to june next year. We dont want to accept as he is not honest to why he is changing and not standing on his words. We dont talk very often as before. I dont know why he is avoiding me, possibly because he has made a decision to not continue with me (bcoz I didnt agreee to remove my pubic hair.) But I really dont know if this is the reason. When I ask whats wrong? or is there anything I have said or done that you dnt like, and in that case, please share with me,... he says nothing. I have started to avoid him- but he keeps calling after 2-3 days.

I am a firm believer of my Guru and know that my Guru will not put me in unsafe hands. i am not willing to remove my pubic hair-for his pleasure. + He should accept the way my Guru has created me. I have been reciting So-purakh since past 10 months. Every day I do an ardas for this guy- Maharaj please bless him with Naam Daan Sikhi Daan, Sikh naal pyaar.

My brothers and sister, please guide me. What should I do?
Apologies for using any unappropriate language.

[Jaybee]

You say, "We accepted the postponement"...who is "we" ??? Are you marrying him, or is some 3rd party making the decision for you?

As for the postponement, this is something you need to discuss with him. There are at least half a dozen good reasons to postpone a marriage, but you are not telling us what his are. Until then it is impossible to give any useful answers. I doubt this has anything to do with pubic hair though. However I will say that opinions vary greatly about whether pubic hair being present/absent/long/short will improve or decrease sexual pleasure during intercourse.

[swarn bains]

listen to your heart and do what it says. Marriage is not what the singles think about. distant hills always look green
Sheikh Fareed says kuaarian ta chao, weahiaah ta mamle. freeda aeho suao mat kuarian theai

[Sherni]

Grateful for your alerting words. I know that he is not avoiding due to pubic hair...its something else.
I stopped answering my phone for the past few days. he has been calling 7-8 times a day and leaving voice message....''where are you? why arent you answering? I have been calling so many times.''

I thought, what is there more to talk about?
I have seen that he has been online on this matrimonial website 3 times last week.

I answered his call yday tho- n said, what is there more to talk abt? u have changed marriage plans soo many times- what should I trust? How much time have u given this relation? I understand that ur friends, parties n gym is more important. he didnt have many answers to my questions. I said...''i dont think u need me anymore- and we dont need to get married. If someone loves somebody - u wanna be with that person as soon as you can...u dnt postpone again and again. He said....i need you xxx- I am emotional invoved with you.
Very unrealiable person, I must say,..who doesnt think abt his own, his parents or anyone else's respect.

Guru rakha

[Gursevak1]

Why are you marrying a person who is not Amritdhari? You are Amritdhari, why even entertain the idea of being married to a person who is not amritdhari?

You need to get your priorities straight. You say Guru Sahib is everything for you. Does your actions go along with what you are saying? Why are you talking about these lowly things with a person that is not your husband? If you were marrying an amritdhari such despicable issues will not arise.

Yeah the boy has issues, but I think you need to look closer to home and see what you want in life.

[VeeruS]

I think it's time to move on...

[Sherni]

I think so too. When i avoid him- n dnt answer his calls he calls several times a day. If I answer n ask why he is contacting - as when u keep on postponing wedding- means u don't need me anyway, so we don't need to get married. He keeps on calling. I hv a feeling that he has commitment problems. He doesn't stand on his words n thus is tough to trust his words now that he has changed so many times. Even if he comes back- it's hard to trust

Maharaj mehar Kare

[Sherni]

The surprising thing is that he has been trying for 3-4 years- yet back then 2010 , I was not ready (didn't feel this was right) but he keep trying. Then last tear he took contact with me again.

He has been trying hard to get this to work (3-4 years ago)..n now when engagement done- he doesn't seem to know what he wants. Thus I hv seen that he signs in to a matrimonial site 2-3 times a week

[Sherni]

He is a nice guy, caring n all- but don't know what he's up to.... Tough to trust ppl when they themselves don't know which direction they are walk ..or they know but dnt wanna share

I hv asked him, I want to understand your situation- why do I wanna postpone till next year June- he doesn't really give a concrete answer.

I am just avoiding him now- he keeps telling me, please talk to me for 5 min...y u avoiding me?

God bless him!!

[QKB]

Sherni ji,

Why are you acting like such a passive participant in your own life decisions?

Honestly, you have no right to complain because your fiancé has been very clear on what he wants and if that’s not acceptable to you, you should have already broken your engagement. By not walking away from your relationship, aren’t you giving him false hope that you will comply with his wishes at some point?

It doesn’t take a lot of background information for me to come to the conclusion that your fiancé doesn’t respect you or your commitments, especially the ones you have already made to your religion.

Why are you marrying this guy? God has given us this precious life, why are you handing yours to someone who has no respect for you? There are countless Amritdhari guys who will respect you and love you for your commitment. Why not wait for the right guy?

I know I have come across as harsh but my harsh words are nothing compared to harshness live throws at you if you make such an important decision of your life with your eyes closed.

QKB